Every day I wake up at 3am and catch the bus to midtown Manhattan to Trump Tower

Outside I do all my best moves I learned from video games like Street Fighter, Devil May Cry, Metal Gear Rising and Tomb Raider, how I can leap and move and I make sure the cameras on the building catch it all - I want Trump to see. Mr. Trump, please hire me as the head of your security detail. I promise no Chinese assassins will ever kill you on the way to court. With me you will win all your cases hands down and be president AGAIN! I know you've seen the footage of my moves, I'm there every day and I know you review the cameras no doubt from a beautiful office overlooking the Hudson River. Please SIR, I need only one shot to show you how I can kick an apple off your head just stand still.