Do you wipe sitting or standing?

Face down on the bathroom tiles, ass up high with legs & cheeks spread as far wide as possible. Only way to handle my dump truck

ah a true renaissance man.
like you, with homemade wipes, toilet paper sprayed with my special recipe xD

I wipe sitting. I think most people probably do. Standing up will push your arse cheeks together, so the poo inside the crack will just smear everywhere.

As for bidets, I don't use them. They're very rare in my country. I just wipe with toilet paper. I try to get my arse as clean as possible with the toilet paper, so I wipe multiple times.

Thank you for reading my post about my pooing habits.

Rare or not, get a bidet for home. It's like $25 US for a basic model, and you will never go back. I feel like an absolute savage when I can't use a bidet now. My best argument is this: Imagine if you fell into a pile of manure. Would you just get some dry paper towel and wipe yourself off and call it good?

If your answer is anything other than no, I don't have a rebuttal, but you do you.

In answer to the question, I still wipe the water away sitting down. Standing up doesn't make any sense as you essentially make a shit sandwich with your cheeks... and even though I'm clean down there now - I learned that way and don't plan on changing.
- I used a $30 bidet for about 6 years. It's has always been amazing. We finally redid our bathroom so I went with a deluxe heated seat, heated water, blow dryer, etc. Gat damn is it wonderful, but it will spoil you. Makes pooping anywhere else dreadful. I'm trying to solve this by gifting my friends bidets for Christmas. So far it's working.
- Lol if I fell in manure I wouldn't just take the hose and wash it off, then paper towel dry either. There would definitely be LOTS of saop involved. Just saying.
  
  I'm in total agreement though. Got a nice bidet seat and it's hands down the best thing ever. I hate using bathrooms in the wild, at all, because they lack the heated seat my bidet has, in addition to the lack of the bidet part.
They're very rare in my country.

So get a battery powered portable bidet! I’m in the US and the one I got has been a life saver.
Thanks I do the same

Bidet. And then one sitting pass to dry.

I can't believe anyone does it any other way.
- Savages exist in all corners of the world.
  
  If you know someone who would get poop on their hand and wipe it with paper saying "good enough", they are uncivilized and not to be trusted. And they have a dirty butthole.
How do bidets work with different types of poop? My butt has been on a real peanut butter kick lately, and I'm starting to despise wet wipes.
- They work well, that's how.
- Bidets are like a refreshing mini pressure washer for your brown eye. Blasts the peanut butter right out of the shag carpet. Works on all types.
- If you are considering getting a bidet, you might also be interested to know that there is a hand bidet variant. The positive is you don't have to move where you sit, you can control the position and angle as well as the pressure with your hand, and it's more compact.
This 👆. There is no other way.

Standing, I think it's more common for guys to do it like that

I sit to shit. I don't have everyone's perfect torpedo's, there would be collateral damage in a stand-up.

Depends on how many days I got into the challenge.

Lean to one side

sits in corner and cries in clean butthole

I envy you. I have a harry butthole and the will-knots will not.

I've never had my ass called posh before.

Male
Bidet + half stand

I'm not fat but do have a big ass, it's easier for me to do a half stand and wipe, spreading my ass a bit and making sure everything is indeed clean.

Not while standing completely but kind of in the middle of sitting and standing. Not sure what the correct English term is for this position.

I like your thinking, getting in a quad workout at the same time
In Polish it would be "na Małysza". Małysz is a famous Polish ski jumper.
- Haha, I should call it Nykänen or Ahonen as they are famous Finnish ski jumpers.
In English we would probably call that crouching or squatting.

You still gotta wipe the water off with a bidet. But you gotta sit for that so you don't drip bidet water down your leg.

My posh, clean ass is always out - and frequently the topic of discussion.

Prior to my ascension, I was a sit-wiper because shit should always be as close to the toilet as possible.

Even after our, ahem* ascension, we still gotta dry off. Sit style, lean and dry!

Lean forward and wipe from beneath, peek-a-boo style.

Can you even reach behind if you don't stand up at least a little bit? And if you do stand up, do the auto flushing toilets go off?

Lean to the side while sitting to reach the undercarriage.
- If you're a bigger person this is a cool and fun way to break toilet seats clean off! Ask me how I know
- Yep, you only have to jack up one side.
- You know, I've never thought once in my life to do that.
You can’t touch your own ass while sitting down?
- Not when it's blocked by the seat.
  
  And not from end to end
- Female here. Can touch ass but not all the way through to get a good wipe of both areas.

Half stand wipe north to south. My old bidet doesn’t fit my new toilet anymore so I am S.O.L unfortunately, been using one of those travel bidet for more emergency situations

I don't think OP knows about the three seashells.

I use the sink or shower.

OP's username checks out.

Both. And I can't decide which is better. Same as peeing.

Almost exclusively

I may be posh but I still wipe, standing up in all of my wet ass glory.

Sitting, but until I was an adult I stood. No idea why I stood for so long, probably how I was taught and just never changed. Sitting is more efficient.

Seriously. No one ever tells you that you are taking a shit wrong.