I (21M) am struggling to think as a single person
I (21M) am struggling to think as a single person
Hello to my friends from Lemmy, the title may be misleading to some.
Long story short, I was in a relationship for a bit over 2 years and I broke up with her recently. I blocked her everywhere, and initially struggled with not thinking about her and our relationship all the time, but now I find it hard to think. Although I have coped and detached very well, it seems that I have nothing to think of, and if I'm not spending my time on entertainment or studying (e.g. in the car) I resort to thinking about my relationship again. It's been making me really unproductive and I'm not even sure what I was like when I was single.
It's not that I am obsessed with "her" or feeling anything, but I can't focus on nothing - it seems that my mental resources keep running and forcing me to concentrate on something. But I don't want to think of "her" again. The past few days I often thought of "her" sexually romantically or as physically present, but now I often stress about the relationship itself and question all the decisions I may have made in the relationship. I mean I've considered actions and things that happened in my relationship in a productive way but I keep on going back to thinking of those things again (which isn't helpful at all).
Does anyone have advice on how I can sit and focus productively or even neutrally, instead of trying to rethink and overthink a relationship that I've already thought of.
Edit: if you want further info about the relationship itself, https://lemmy.world/post/727078
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My man, as a fella past the mid point of his life who just got contacted by his first love from 3 decades ago, that constant longing you're feeling might be something real. Create some space around yourself and really try to work out how you feel and go from there. I'm filled with regret on the choices made, my advice to you for what it's worth is don't be like me.
Thank you for the advice brother. I created as much distance i could, and used to think of contacting her again, but forced myself to stick to my decision. It feels like that part of my brain that once used to pulse with love is now turned off. Although I hadn't felt love in a long time in my relationship either. I focused on myself and did professional and personal development. I'm sure I am on the right path right now!
Sounds like you’re doing all the right things. Look after yourself and take time to make decisions.
Thank you for the help brother. I recently had a short dream of her where she tried to be lovey dovey to me but I didn't show love, it's kinda weird but I think that says something lol. Also focusing on family:)