What wouldn't you tell your loved ones, but you can tell people on the Internet?

That's great advice, thank you. I'll have to relay it to my sister since she's the one actually dealing with it since I moved out of state like 20 years ago and rarely go home. Maybe we'll have to gang up on him/have an intervention. It's just hard to catch his ass sober.

JAZZZZZ CIGARETTES

The ironic part is that her favorite relative outside of our immediate family is my cousin who I learned - to no surprise of my own - smokes a TON of weed.

I have no reason to hide it from my dad but...what's the point? Even if he doesn't tell my mom, we're not gonna share a joint or anything

eh it leads to the middle of Gay st., Bath UK. So likely troll location like when people point to the white house in similar context.

Nah, I just told the family that Hammy had to go and live on a farm :(

It's a street in Bath in the UK, 39 Gay St https://maps.app.goo.gl/hv8AjxTcnJyVqetb6

It was, but I am actually doing really well now, generally. Stable and supportive partner. Love and joy on the daily!

Have some health issues but I feel like who doesn't these days? It does make having friends a struggle but I have a lot of.. acquaintances and small relationships can be fulfilling, in their own way.

Generally great relationships with my family, minus several humans who have been downgraded to biological associates.

On the whole pretty excellent and like to think I'm doing as well for those around me as I can despite my limitations.

Sorry, unsuspecting victims, for the wall of text, the word vomit needed out, I suppose.

Because I'm already married in a poly relationship.

Not the person you were asking, but I can provide an answer. Pansexual generally means attraction to people regardless of gender - sort of gender blind. A bi person (like me) might find that the attraction they experience to different genders is shaped differently, qualitatively — or the magnitude of attraction may be different — like if you were a 1 on the Kinsey scale, which means "predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual". Someone who's pan is more likely to be a 3 on the Kinsey scale, but also, it's possible to be bi and a 3, and that's subtly different.

There aren't set rules on this, it mostly comes down to what terms resonate with people. I'm someone to whom pansexual as a label could apply, but I identify as bisexual because that was the word that made me go "wait, this is a thing that's possible?". The terms people use are often rooted in history, personal or otherwise.

It's trickier to explain the lexical niche when I myself am not pan. It's like if you're working on a project and have someone passing you tools, and you reach a step that needs a particular spanner, of which you have two. You ask for one of those spanners, but despite it fitting many of your requirements on paper, it isn't quite right for what you're trying to do. You try the other spanner and it's perfect. Keeping both spanners is probably useful because on simple jobs, they are interchangeable, but when getting into nuanced, complex situations, having the choice is useful.

By this, I mean that I have also had the thought that "[Pansexual] seemed a meaningless term because bi already covers basically everything", but when you're talking to someone about different spanners and they say "that one isn't the same as that one. I need the other one", it's generally wisest to assume that this person has some insight that you don't have on these spanners, or their particular use cases — who am I to tell people what tools are most useful for them, after all? Like a lot of identity stuff, it's hard to explain, but it matters a lot to some people.

what the other guy said. it's different for everyone. But some part of me identifying as bi not as pan is also self-reflective. It's because it's the term I want. Like how someone can be Alexander, Alex, Al, Xander, AJ... yet we don't question the difference, we just instinctively understand it's a preference.