'he' pronounced with a length, loudness, emphasis, and tone of voice which together make it obvious that the pronoun is in fact referring to a feminine trans person, and makes the speaker look like a raging transphobe
/uj This is something I've had a hard time figuring out how to articulate, how the "doesn't know you're trans" he is very different from the "trying to misgender you" he. The former one is just painful, nothing else to it; but the latter honestly "hurts so good". The latter means that my queerness is living rent-free in their heads. The latter means that they don't actually see me as a man and are desparately trying to convince themselves they do.
On the contrary is they. I don't mind being called they when it's a situation where someone doesn't know my gender and doesn't want to assume things, but they when it's used by some goddamn self-professed liberal ally who doesn't want to acknowledge my gender... That's honestly more disrespectful than the misgendering he.