Thank you for the kind words earlier Friends, I'm feeling a lot more okay now. Sometimes my brain gets carried away.
I did things that cheered me up and that really helped, made some cheesy potato cake thingys and planted one of my propagated monsteras in a pot and changed the pot of another plant and that all made me feel better. I'll have to relax tonight and put a face mask on and do some graphic design/drawing so I can get my Lizzo T-shirt and/or bag done in time.
Just got out of bed, feeling a bit fried
Interview later, I wonder if I'll be hired
The cat slept with us, and now he's yowling
Though he's been fed, he thinks his tummy's still growling
Curled up on the couch, heater in my face
I'm anxious about this employment race
It's hard to talk myself up when I'm so iffy
But I'll clean myself up, looking so spiffy
I'll cage up the thoughts that hold me back
And when I get home, I'll have a panic attack
As long as I can hold it until after I'm done
I'll nail this appointment, and then I'll have won.
Day 56 of The Diet. Scales said "That'll do, Raven. That'll do."
Now it's time to eat ALL the things move to a sensible maintenance diet for a while, and focus on my weights routine and building up some muscle. Then four more sets of 5kg dieting interspersed with maintenance/exercise focus. I think this is a good plan, breaking it up into smaller achievable goals rather than trying to do it in one go. Easier to maintain motivation and not to burnout.
Sometimes I feel like an absolute void of nothingness, no one truly cares for ME, no one reaches out via message, I hang out with friends sometimes, but we're not super close. I just feel alone.
That awesome feeling you get when past you is so organise, that it helps out future you. Nothing major just essential items that I need and haven’t been able to get a hand on. This has put me in such a good mood. Lol who am I to be this happy over an essential goods or two 😅
Was making a dish with red wine as an ingredient last night. Purchased a $12 bottle that ended up being absolutely delightful. The meal was good too. I did go to bed a little buzzy, but no side effects today.
Centrelink stopped accepting medical certificates, so I have to do mutual obligations. The DES people want me to apply for 8 jobs that I'm not qualified for every month. They're meant to help me pay for education but according to the guy I have appointments with, they'll only pay half of the course fees.
Also, why the fuck is "free" TAFE allowed to charge so much extra fees? It's not free if I have to pay $510.
I'm just sorta fucked, I suppose. Not sure what I can do, or will do.
I've completed day 2 of exercise regimen and it feels good so far. They're just equipment free 10 minute little workouts, and because they're 10 minutes I can easily say to myself, "oh let's do one now, I've got no excuse to not fit it in." It gets the blood pumping without being too taxing. Can't do in front of Mr Peeler though 👀
I had some left over pork and beef mince. I added some onions and a can of Campbell's beef bolognese sauce and the scraps from the tomato sauce bottle. Paired it with beef ravioli and some herbs and spices. It came out alright.
Girly's not eating with us because she's got some sort of mange. It could be my imagination but my throat is getting sore. We shall see tomorrow.
Cool glass of Rosé, relaxing on the sofa
Brain's overthinking, turning over and over.
Be cool and calm, composed, assured,
Each fear is stretched and twice measured.
Turned out and raw for the world to see,
Memories sliced up, trauma-sushi
Roll me in rice, in seaweed, I'm salty
Dip me in soy sauce and light green wasabi
Chopsticks and lips, full of umami,
Size me up, please put a fork in me
I'm done 👌🏼
Oh my god. Found a box of box of ritz and a 2 bottles of red in the cupboard.
Got so excited I cracked the shiraz open and just poured a glass. Went down so well. Hope it’ll last a couple of days without going weird in taste so I can stretch it out for a few days.
one of those days where chronic pain moves from "meh I'm used to it" to "I shall bite people"
so of course it's the day the cats have decided to be Royal Fucking Arseholes
(this isn't mood colouration btw, Punkin is obsessed with going under my desk and fucking around behind the file server - something he has never, in his entire twelve years of life been allowed to do. I've pulled it out, there's nothing behind it, he's just got a bug up his arse. And when told off goes into the kitchen and starts pushing things off the counter in retaliation)
Am I the only person getting annoyed that James Cameron is all over the news about the Oceangate incident. I mean I get he's an avid ocean explorer, have done the trip many times, and made the damn film but I feel like we should hear from an actual engineer.
My mind is quietening down. I am learning to shut up and listen with intent for the first time in my life. I've stopped running on caffiene and now enjoy afternoon naps and to wake up to find that my cats have crept onto the bed and are sleeping beside me afterwards fills me with joy.
I still need some time off job hunting to work on my recovery but it's going really well so far. One day at a time. I think to bang on the benefits of joining aa is probably unnecessary but I will I've felt more love from the new people I've met in the program than I've felt from most of my real life friends in the last I don't know how many years. I've also found better support for my transition here than in any other place other that I sought out and got myself through professional services. I spent so much time in my community last week I can still feel the euphoria as well, but their support is automatic, yours is a something I am truly grateful for as it's coming from strangers who may or may not know about the incredible personal journeys we go through in the early stages of hormome replacement therapy.
Thank you all, except the person who downvotes all my comments, no thanks for you but no malice toward you either, what you think about me is none of my business.
The unit outline for my next uni subject (sustainable design for houses) was released today & I'm pretty happy with what the main assignments involve. I'll basically be making a plan for my own future housing, which is what I want to do for myself anyway & a large part of why I was interested in this course.
Good morning folks, hope y'all had a great weekend! I built my Nissian Skyline GT-R Lego set and it looks great. Now I just need to see where to put it... somewhere on my bookshelf.
Think I might need to come up with a strategy as I'm getting invited to a lot of non work hours social stuff in this new job. I really just want people to know that's off limits for me without being impolite, getting pressured into going, or not "fitting in"
Ditched Woolies mobile. Decided the saving wasn’t worth it if it didn’t work. Back in Telstra and my phones back in full working order. Can’t believe the difference a proper internet connection makes to the lack of lag!
I just learned about monkeytype which is a simple typing test site to test your keyboard kung-fu. My first attempt and Bing tells me I'm a pro.. noice. Thanks, years of all-night mIRC when I was a teenager! Back in those days I could type flawlessly without looking at the keyboard OR screen, including ALT codes for ASCII symbols. And my dad told me I was wasting my life... LOOK AT ME NOW, DAD!
So happy that doggo slept through the night! Before we took her in for surgery she would wake up every night between 4-5am needing to throw up. Post-surgery she would get the crazies after 1am - crying, running around, wanting to go outside to do her business/throw up (sometimes all at the same time). Vet examined her/did bloodwork and said nothing suspicious came up so we figured it was due to her being in pain. Fingers crossed she's now on the mend (and that we can actually get some sleep this week).
Lmao someone or something has it out for me right now, just got the report back from a car I had inspected and it's another no go. I have looked at 6 cars, and had 3 of them inspected, and all have been duds in one way or another. It's not even like I'm looking on the low end, I've a little over 20k to burn, surely things should be decent for that price.
Does anyone else think about orcas wearing hats? Ever since I read the story, and saw the pics, I've been wondering what other silly fads they have and does this mean The Little Mermaid is a documentary?
Apple says 11, BOM says 5. Decided to grab the beanie scarf and gloves on top of the jacket just in case. Good call. That wind makes it feel colder than it is.
I'm looking at the Financial Review online, and have just noticed that where other papers have a section for "money" they have a section for "wealth". Definitely a different clientele.
Edit: I just read an article stating that investors are starting to wonder whether owning a holiday home is "still" part of the Australian Dream. I am startled to learn that people ever thought it was.
in side news, oh aussie.zone i wanna like you. no avatar accounts currently look busted - so i switched those off - the UX of the preference save is like a video game trap
ruh roh
(image of big red 'delete account' primary CTA button and grey chilling 'save' button)
Just saw a strange new worlds advertisement at Melbourne central. Bit of a waste of money no? Any Star Trek fan would’ve had the date memories right? Or at least spent all day going “what was I supposed to remember started back again?!” Like I did.
today looked at quotes for car insurance, going with racv. no news about the ppsr, gave them till tomorrow so we sit and wait. then we go to vcat. anyway getting the new car on Thursday, most likely. yea finally can bring it home. arrange for a good front and back camera to be installed next week for it. other than that been getting things sorted.
really interesting ABC article re: a major con against the Aus Govt/the ATO
Edit: Can someone plz teach me how to do hyperlinks using the ['s and )'s ?
Edit 2: thanks Cendana!
Does anyone know roughly what time station parking fills up at Camberwell station? Have to go into the city for work on Wed and need to park somewhere safe as I’ve got plans after work and won’t get back to the car until about 10.30pm.
In the democracy that is the DT on this platform, can anyone start the next DT? I'm not volunteering necessarily, there are far more reliable people than me to do it on time, but I was just curious.
One of the places I write for, they also do a radio/podcast show. And I was invited onto it last weekend but couldn't because of plans, but I asked if next available slot I could be on and I suggested to talk about fat representation in video games. And it's been very interesting to read about because on one hand there isn't a lot of stuff about fat bodies in video games, it's really often the same 10 characters in a top ten list. But the videos and essays on the topic are fantastic.
It's something I'm super passionate about, talking about representation in media is very very important to me. My first show with them I spoke about accessibility in video games because it's something I will often talk about in my reviews. It's the first thing I always check when playing a game, while I don't have a lot of needs in that space, it's still important. So having a space to talk about fat characters in video games is going to be fun.
Anyways, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
Edit: And this is why I should be quiet about stuff like this... yay. Gonna go sleep forever ✌🏻
Another day of annual leave today as I was meant to be coming back from Sydney. Canceled the trip, but not the annual leave because I'm once again mad at my workplace. Chickened out of having a chat with a recruiter last week, so it's really on me and I know that. However, a Monday off is not a bad Monday at all.
Can't decide if I want to stick with D4 or possibly dip my toes back into WoW. Dragonflight being 50% off at the moment is making it very, very tempting.
I've been watching Batman movies. I love the noir The Batman best. Even tho it's set in a cartoon world it seems the most real, maybe it's because the characters seem to be more real.