Do you really feel like you "fit in" in your current country? What do you feel about your ancestral country? Have you ever imagined about a hypothetical life in your ancestral country?
Do you really feel like you "fit in" in your current country? What do you feel about your ancestral country? Have you ever imagined about a hypothetical life in your ancestral country?
By "fit in" I mean... do you feel like you are actually part of the society there, or do they treat you like a foreigner. Do you feel comfortable there?
I know my experience as a 1st gen (or some call it "1.5 gen" since I arrived during childhood) is probably different from a 2nd gen or a 3rd gen, or maybe even different from those 1st gens that were born in their ancestral country but emigrated before they had formed any memories of their ancestral country; but personally, I can't help but wonder what my life would've been like had my family not emigrated. Like... I'm talking about alternate timelines sort of stuff, I get obsessed about the thought of it... well... I mean I do get obsessed about just the concept of time travel all the time... xD Just me?
My answer, as to fitting in: Meh... sort of yes but sort of no... I'm probably just introverted, and I had to juggle between family-related trauma (emotional abuse and fighting with my older brother) and the alienation in the US during my first few years since I didn't speak English at the time... having to deal with both at the same time probably fucked up my self-esteem and just made me more introverted.
As for my ancestral country, which is also my birth country: Meh... society is too conservative for my liking, particulary when it come to government and authoritarianism. From memory, I didn't like the 8 years of my life I spend there before leaving.
Now? I probably would not fit in as of now even if I tried, since... Language Barrier... I wouldn't really understand the colloquial sayings and like how to word things properly, I'd struggle to hold a conversation... I mean I struggle having a deep conversation with my parents right now lol, I'd probably do worse if its a Mandarin speaker from outside of Guangdong Province (Cantonese is spoken at home, not Mandarin). I mean I can understand most of it, but I'd struggle. A white dude would get judged less, but ethnic Chinese, even if foreign born, would still get judged as if they are a local that didn't go to school. It would be even more alienating compared to an immigrant being alienated in a immigration county.
As for, the alt-timeline where I never left in the first place: I think about all the great TV Shows and Movies that I might've missed out on, had I remained in China... because domestic media gets very boring.... well, unless you just just have poor tastes like some people do (ahem like my parents ahem).