Klingons are so wholesome

Chimera, Chitin, and even Drow are a few that I got wrong because I read them in a book first.

Um, not always.

(Points toward Trump trying to say anonymous.)

Lost a spelling bee in 5th grade to abhor

I put an e on the end. The word took out the whole class, except the Korean kid. He was my best friend and wicked smart.

Homage took me a while

Mine was queue. I assumed it was pronounced like kway. I thought queue as in a line, was cue, like the stick.

I've always had a bad opinion of people who try to chide little kids who use words like runned instead of ran. I'd always argued the kid successfully extrapolated past tense words end with a hard d sound and haven't gotten to deeper English classes to learn the special scenarios for words like run or drink.

If you track how kids perform at this, you actually find a bathtub curve. When they are really young and just learning words, they are actually quite good at irregular conjunctions (for the few words they know). Then, as they get older and learn a bunch of other words, they start messing up the irregular ones they used to get right. Then, of course, they eventually learn the exceptions as exceptions.
You are correct; the "correct" way to correct speech issues like this is to repeat their story back to them using the correct wording.
For my 4yo, currently he is saying hims rather than his. Rather than saying in a corrective way "his, is how you say that, not hims"; you repeat the story, "oh, that is his tractor!".

Mine was "facade".

Fuck Aid

I said “Sortie” out loud for the first time the other day, and even though it was pronounced correctly I still interrupted my own story to repeat it with a look of disgust, thinking “Surely not!”
- What did you think was the correct pronunciation in that moment? Soar tee ay?
Albeit was al-bite
Segue was si-gyou
- That just sounds like German arbeit then
Fuschia is pronounced Fuck-tosia
- Not to be confused with Fuck-Tasha
- Hell, it oughta be!
As a Canadian ..... no doot aboot it
Archipelago
Still don’t know the correct way.
- I've heard both ark uh pella go and ark i pelli go. Probably just dialect difference.
- In NZ we (mostly) pronounce it arc-ah-pela-go some however are weird and say arc-ee-pelE-go
- The H is silent, accent the first and third syllables.
Elegant
For some reason I said “eglant”
Harsh lesson to learn in a 8th grade class speech.
Mine:
adolescence = "a-doller-sanse"
awry = "aww-reeee"
banal = "banal"
- Awry is particularly relatable.
- Awry was something I pronounced like you did forever until I heard it spoken. Sadly that was in some medieval show, so I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be an accent or if you actually pronounce it like that :D
I learned epitome is not pronounced ep-e-tome but rather e-pit-toe-me
- Me the first time I heard a guitarist pronounce the brand Epiphone as "Epiphany".
- Why word look like ep-e-tome if word no sound like ep-e-tome?

Or it was the name of a character in a JRPG you played as a child.

JRPGs are like 50% book so I say we still count it.

I often start talking about a book I'm reading only to realise I have zero idea how to pronouce the names of half of the characters.

My sister recently blew my mind when she straight up pronounced "the Teixcalaanli Empire", presumably correctly and without any hesitation. I haven't heard it out loud before then. Hell, I didn't even know it was possible to pronounce it in the first place.

I listen to a lot of audiobooks, so consequently I can tell you all about my favorite characters and alien races but fucked if I know how the author chose to spell it.
- That usually works, but not always. The Wheel of Time audiobooks have two narrators. Michael Kramer reads when the POV is from a male character and Kate Reading reads female POVs. They apparently don’t to each other, because they pronounce many names differently. For instance, is the character Moghedien pronounced MOH-gah-deen or moh-GED-ee-in?
- The problem with audiobooks is you can miss a key word or phrase when something is introduced and then go through the whole book wrong.
None of the Dune audio works can agree on how "Tleilaxu" is pronounced. I've heard everything from "telly-axe-uh" to "t'lay-lax-you"
- We were actually talking about A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine. Can't recommend it enough. It's narrowly my favourite lesbian science fiction debut novel-turned-series about a galactic empire of 2019.
And now I was like - What? Isn't it supposed to be Tleilax? But yeah, Teixcalaanli Empire, I miss the Memory Called Empire world, I need a third book now!

English is just mispronounced French

Interesting history provided by Rob Words - https://youtu.be/TUL29y0vJ8Q

Poppycock. It's mispronounced German and Latin and Greek and French and... well... English, all with a delightful seasoning of mispronounced Dutch and Spanish.
- Poppycock.
  From the Germanic “Puppenschafft” /s
"The History of English Podcast" is really fun and gets into the weeds of why English is such a mess.
Not be be confused with "The History of England Podcast", which is also really good.
- I love that podcast, and particularly when I'm driving, because while Kevin tends to repeat himself and speak slowly, it's generally pedagogically sound, somehow in the service of his point and ensuring I don't miss much if I get distracted. He's also an attorney (probate, IIRC), so when he occasionally drifts into legal stuff, it's doubly insightful.
- Or indeed "The History of English Podcasts" which tragically doesn't seem to exist.

Well, not necessarily a book nowadays. But this was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Hisss!

This joke doesn't work for a normal language like spanish that has regular orthography, only languages like english or french that have broken spelling.

Klingonese is read the way it's spoken so it also wouldn't suffer from this problem.

Spanish is one of the best languages for having the spelling match the pronunciation, but it's not perfect. First of all, you can't spell something just based on hearing it because a /k/ sound can be a 'c' or a 'k', and a /s/ can be an 's' or a 'c'. It also has silent letters like 'h'. Going the other way, seeing the spelling of Mexico, Xalapa, Oaxaca, etc. would lead someone who didn't know to try to pronounce them with a /ks/ sound, but they're really pronounced as if they were spelled Mejico, Jalapa and Oajaca. Then, there are loan words like "psicologia" where the "p" is retained from the original language, but not pronounced in Spanish.
- First of all, you can’t spell something just based on hearing it because a /k/ sound can be a ‘c’ or a ‘k’, and a /s/ can be an ‘s’ or a ‘c’.
  Yes you can. K isn't often used in spanish except for loan words. C and S aren't interchangeable in spelling they just sound the same when pronounced in certain phonemes. There are very specific rules about which letter is used in each phoneme. If you know spanish then you'd know this since they are some of the first lessons you learn about spelling.
  Every other example you gave was a loan word.
a normal language like spanish that has regular orthography
que necesitas para entender que esto es algo falso? Un Casco?
- Every letter in spanish is always pronounced with regular rules. You don't have to guess. Things like "pingüino" and the u having the diaresis makes it obvious that you have to pronounce the u in the word vs "quitar" where you don't pronounce the u.
  Just because you can pronounce s and c the same and c and k the same doesn't make it bad orthography.
Eh, French isn't that bad, although there is some general fuckery.
If you didn't know how to pronounce something in English before the internet, you were basically shit out of luck.

Audiobooks do the reverse.

"Wait, that's how you spell that??"

I guess it's usually with names, though.

*pronounce rather than spell, but yeah.
Particularly, many stresses turned out to be not where I imagined them.
- No, I think they had it the way they meant to.
  They hear the name while listening to audiobooks and then see the name written later.

A1 is coming for our jobs. It's an evil cable of people.

Or read it in a shitpost somewhere

I'm not sure. This seems to imply there aren't even memes in the 33rd century. Back to paper books I guess.

I still don't know the actual pronunciation of macabre.

this is dumb af every time i see it

there is zero guarantee its because you learned the word by reading. and i would argue most of the time it is not bc you learned it by reading. theres a lot of dumb ppl in the world saying shit wrong bc they heard another dumb shit say it that way

Sure, but I think I'd rather assume the best out of folks first then let them prove me wrong vs walk around with even more negativity as my default. 🤷‍♂️
- and why would them pronouncing a word wrong bc they read it vs heard it be "the best from folks"? how is hearing a word for the first time and it being mispronounced worse than reading it and mispronouncing the word?
  its just dumb all around, and what youre saying is elitist given that there are illiterate people in this world. which is extra negativity you must be walking around with hating on the illiterate like that

K-Pop!

puh·ta·see·uhm sow·duh. Nailed it!
- adaguy!