3d ago

People commenting coping methods aren't being helpful

I was looking at a couple of posts that express feelings of exhaustion and isolation that are extremely prevalent in modern life. And in the comments are people talking about how they're able to deal with those pressures. I don't think that's a real solution to the stated problems. The real solution is replacing the system that demands an exhausting and isolating existence for so many in order to maintain itself.

When someone says he feels alone, it's not helpful to recommend social clubs because the real problem is all the ways modern society inhibits community building and a lot of minor social interaction. When someone says he doesn't feel like he has time to take care of her physical health, it's not helpful to show your schedule to fit it into the busy day because the real solution is having more time available which is only possible if we change modern work culture.

Yes, it's possible for individuals within almost any system to find a stasis where you're able to fulfill your basic mental, social, and physical needs. It's even possible for individuals to thrive. But your solutions only work for you and maybe those with similar material conditions AND cognitive predispositions. Otherwise you're just making excuses for the level of harm modern capitalism places on people everyday.

Take care of yourself and resist where you can.

18 comments

Magically replacing capitalism with something that isn’t much worse is also not a realistic solution to such stated problems. If someone says they feel alone or exhausted it seems much more unhelpful to say I told you so because that’s capitalism for you 🤷‍♀️
Especially when you can in fact still do small and real things to improve your mental/physical/social health, even under capitalism.
How are people gonna resist capitalism if they already can’t do simple coping strategies for daily life?
- Capitalism ends up acting as an excuse for people. An end to capitalism doesn't make college easier or remove all of life's problems.
  
  I don't think you give capitalism enough credit. Especially using college as your example.
- I don't totally agree with what you started saying but you do get to some good points. I will say what I've said elsewhere that I'm talking more about advice on meme posts about large trend issues more than specific issues a singular person deals with.
  I guess I would like to see fewer coping strategies that help you do capitalism better and more that work by subverting the powers that entrench capitalism. Also I do think frequently acknowledging that the cause is capitalism is important in the building of consciousness.
How exactly does discussion of failures of a society help those who struggle right here right now?
When you see a burning building, it’s not a good time to start a discussion on merits of various building materials. Here’s a bucket, start hauling.
- It's not just a burning building, it's a building with multiple fires in many locations with varying intensity. If you spend all your time putting out the individual fires you're not actually addressing why the fires keep getting lit.
  Also the comments I'm talking about aren't actually buckets of water, they're more akin to telling the person inside the burning building to cover her mouth and stay close to the ground. Sure it might help keep her alive for a little bit (if he can manage to do those things) but he's still inside of a burning building.
  
  Putting out the fire doesn't help those who didn't survive. That's largely why firefighters will attempt rescues before extinguishing a blaze.
  I don't really disagree with your opinion other than a minor quibble - trying to reach out to people who are struggling is helpful. Your stance seems to be that it isn't a solution and where I disagree is that just because you can't solve people's problems doesn't mean you can't help them.
  It's tough trying to help people because everyone wants different things. A lot of the time people clash about this. For instance, when somebody's making a post expressing their exhaustion and isolation, a lot of the time what they really want is to vent their feelings and maybe be heard. Sometimes offering any solution completely misses the point of the post.
  On the flip side if I'm making a post like that and I'm in a place where I want a solution, it has to be something I can achieve. If my problem is isolation, then hearing that somebody else has gone through something similar and found something that eases their pain helps me. Their solution might not fit my needs, but now I know another human being is out there, going through similar stuff, and wants to help. It makes me feel less isolated in a way that "you need to rebuild society" simply can't compete with.
This reads more like a complaint about capitalism, and not on the people making suggestions on other people’s posts. i.e. you’re using a straw man fallacy to argue against capitalism by using people giving advice to others as the vehicle.
But, giving you the benefit of the doubt here, I’d like to point out that people are social by nature. We thrive on some form of interconnectedness with other people. We also like to help others, if we can. So it stands to reason that if we see someone having similar troubles to us, we will reach out and offer suggestions that we’ve found to be successful (yes, to ourselves). And unless the poster simply wants to rant, without seeking guidance for their situation, they should clearly set that expectation in their posts. Another solution that’s worked for me in the past (😉) is to ignore advice that I feel is irrelevant and move on.
- I don't think I'm using a straw man to argue against capitalism. I think I'm using the assumption that capitalism is the main problem to argue against a straw man.
  Also, there's a difference between offering remedies on a forum where that's expected and responding to a meme about how there's not enough time in the day with your personal rigid schedule for everything. I'm talking about the latter though I might not have expressed it very clearly.
  
  Regardless of intention, thank you for taking the time to give me a thoughtful response. While I was not trying my come off as attacking you for your post, I would have understood if you had taken it that way. And if I did offend you, I offer my sincerest apologies. 😊
Welp. That's an unpopular opinion alright.
I mean, isn’t that what “coping” means? Dealing with what you’re dealt with, not necessarily solving/preventing it. Also, it doesn’t have to be one or the other. It can be both, try to fix the root cause while coping to keep yourself together in the process.
People's natural inclination is to help.
Resistance is fruitful.

18 comments