So easily
So easily
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But if I stop, the anxiety just becomes bigger and scarier and it eats at me and i start being self destructive not because of anything, but because anything is better than stopping cause stopping makes me jitter and my body behaves unexpectedly but if i’m in a constant state of doing then thinking needs to catch up.
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I did this two days ago... hmm.
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After working as a line cook at a busy restaurant, I can't help but super rush everything. I can't go slow. I worry I can't make food fast enough. I've grown to hate cooking if it takes me longer than 30 minutes to prepare...
It took me 3 hours to cook a pot of rice and fry some pork chops....
9 comments
This is why I hate any website that gives me a pop-up ad I'm reading. It has spurred me to master the art of finding and clicking the "x" button without moving my eyes.
A while ago I tried to open a tab in firefox (a browser I had somewhat trusted). I press the key combo to open the tab and begin typing my search query. But no, this tab has a pop-up for a new feature and it un-focused the search bar so none of my words made it in. Now I have to close the pop-up (which I was too angry to read, so I do not even know what feature it was about) and... oh... what was I meaning to search? I do not remember!
And moving things on a page! It turns out that I cannot read anything if there is a moving image on a page!
I have a lot of anger in my heart and each time a flow state is interrupted it becomes a little stronger.
I recently had the same experience you had with Firefox, but with Notion. Just yesterday, as I was in the middle of typing up some notes, it decided to produce the pop-up "Would you like to update and restart Notion?" with the "yes" button in focus. It was timed exactly as my hand was in motion to press the enter key. And just like that, I lost the next two hours of my day.