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What are warning signs of a DA perpetrator?

October is Domestic Abuse awareness month. Perpetrators hide in plain sight, and they can be hard to spot. Good news is, there are clear signs

Warning signs of a DA perpetrator

  • Jealous
  • Controlling
  • Relationship moves fast
  • Extravagant gifts/shows of generosity that make the partner feel uncomfortable
  • Selfish
  • Blame-shifting (often to partner)
  • Lying
  • Distorted view of reality
  • Substance misuse/gambling
  • Jekyll and Hyde
  • Double standards
  • Speaks disrespectfully about their exes
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Isolates partner from friends/family
  • Crosses sexual boundaries

Supporting a friend who is being abused

  • Be the opposite of the abuser – be kind, respectful, and non-judgemental
  • Don’t tell them what to do, they get enough from the perp – ask them what they think
  • Don’t judge them, understand they’re in a really awful position – avoid “why” questions and support their decision, even if you think it’s wrong
  • Don't ever, ever, EVER tell them to “just leave” – it’s destructive
  • Remember, no matter how much you see, you’re only seeing the tip of the iceberg – there will be a lot that your friend is hiding
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