Mosquitoes found in Iceland for first time after record heat

Nah it's way worse than you'd think, we get biblical level swarms of bugs, magpies turn into into kamikaze bombers with knives for feet, you can't trust anything laying on the floor at all, because it's more than likely a snake or one of many big lizards chilling out, you can't trust hiding under trees because our snakes like to climb trees and divebomb humans or just fall off like idiots, the sun has personal beef with Australia for some reason, not sure what we did, but it's pissed at us.

So far this week, I've seen 3 bobtail lizards, one brought inside by my pug, one blue tongue lizard that made me nope the fuck back inside, it was his yard for a while and the magpies have been taunting me every time I go check the mail, so they're gonna attack me any day now, it's not even summer yet, all of that on my own property.