ICE boasts zero murders committed by 5-year-olds since child detainments began
ICE boasts zero murders committed by 5-year-olds since child detainments began
theonion.com
ICE Boasts Zero Murders Committed By 5-Year-Olds Since Child Detainments Began

Touting a new crime report as evidence their ramped-up operations were improving American life, Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials announced Friday that there had been zero murders committed by 5-year-olds since they began detaining children. “Democrats can whine and slander our agents all they like, but the stats don’t lie: Homicides committed by kindergartners are at all-time lows,” said ICE spokesperson Kristina Boyer [...]