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People would read the second message, type the yes prompt, break their system. But still claim that it was linux's fault, and that the OS doesn't work.

By "people" you mean Linus Sex Tips
- Linux tech slips
- Linux Tech Tips channel when?
  
  With Emily as the main Host (Comment section goes BRRRRRRR! Don't want to be a mod there xD)
- For legal reasons I cannot confirm nor deny such allegations at this time.
They need to noobify that prompt further, something like "Yes, break my system!". Even Linus wouldn't fall for that (I hope)!
- Or have them answer a few linux related questions
Message two can also be caused by packages (or rather, package creators) with delusions of grandeur that only think that the system will stop working without them, so they rig things to threaten to uninstall the system.

Or else someone has created too heavy a dependency on something that ought to be removable, but isn't thanks to malice or incompetence (or both).

We still mock Microsoft for putting too heavy a dependency (or at least removal FUD) on whatever web browser they bundle with their OSes (first IE, now Edge), and here we might have a package creator trying the same damn thing.
*They will claim it was Linus fault
- Which one?
Honestly I once did this to my desktop environment because I saw a huge list of packages and ignored it because I thought they were packages that could be upgraded, not that it was going to uninstall my fucking desktop lol

Login as a user.
Delete the user while still logged in
Run command

You should get a message "you don't exist, go away"

Not sure if that one is still around but I know one person who ran a script with "deluser $USER" and it ate root resulting in fun messages like that

My local deluser checks if the user has any active process. I tried deleting all of the data by hand, but the process is still assigned to a user name and id.

I'm not sure if this one can error still can be replicated.
- Well you could manually edit /etc/password and shadow I suppose
I think I'll just take your word for it.
- Easy to try in a virtual machine with snapshot. Or use a filesystem snapshot

the famous "This incident will be reported" error was briefly removed last year before being replaced with a less ominous version.

While it was funny, it probably is for the best. Especially if a kid uses the system it might legitimately scare the shit out of them lol

I wouldn't be surprised if a kid thought the police was gonna break in now
I noticed this, got so sad. It was one of the funniest ones for me. First time I got it I kinda laughed.
IMHO, that doesn't sound any less ominous
- At least it answers the question whom it will be reported to. In all likelihood the administrator is me anyway, at least on my personal devices. People won't worry anymore that it will be reported to the police or, heaven forbid, to Santa Claus.
I'll never forget this one lmao

How could you not include the classic printer lp0 on fire!

I actually got that one around 2010 on Ubuntu. The printer wasn't actually on fire. If I recall it was caused by the network attached printer losing connection during a job

That was a fun read, thank you.
Good chance that could be fire
I love that the Wikipedia article has a section on Printer flammability :D

There's also the naughty programmer getting spanked by EFL

EFL is an absolute crime against programmer-kind, even if the errors are, admittedly, hilarious. can assert that they are not so funny when you find them deeeeep in some god-forsaken legacy codebase that's seen more null *s than git commits lol

The third one is new to me. "Congratulations" - that's fucking hilarious.

I got so hung up on the misspelling of "separate" that I didn't even see the "Congratulations" on first read-through. Which says more about me than about the error message, alas. 😅

Reminds me of the Chocolatey Uninstall script warning

What the heck tho, how could a simple script destroy a whole machine?
- When a software package installer isn't designed to be reversible
  
  I recall a bunch of antiviruses being similarly difficult to completely wipe
- It doesn't say that.
  
  If you setup your system with Chocolatey (is a package manager for Windows), removing Chocolatey will break your setup (removing all installed packages).

Yes, do as I say!

"It's possible I did something wrong." 🤣
Like not read the warning that said that he was about to uninstall the desktop? Or to continue only if he knew what he was doing? He also earlier liked to talk about "red flags", but somehow needing to type in "Yes, do as I say!" wasn't one to him. I'm supposed to be getting Linux tips from this guy?
- I'm supposed to be getting Linux tips from this guy?
  
  No, this is Linus Sex Tips not Linux Tech Tips!
- I'm supposed to be getting Linux tips from this guy?
  
  No. You're supposed to see what kind of experience someone who didn't use Linux before would have.
  
  How could someone who has never used Linux know that he was about to nuke his system, after typing in the command that the internet told him to type in to install Steam?
- What makes you think your average Windows user that is trying out Linux for the first time wouldn't have faced the same problem? I never understood why people criticized Linus for this video. After all, the video was supposed to see whether Linux is a viable alternative for Windows users (specifically gamers).
yeah, quote a problematic video. surprised that he deleted everything, when is says it will break his system!
- Surprised that it prompted him to delete his system, when he was trying to install Steam!

score 10 or sacrifice child is actually just a MtG card, how did that get in there

I can't imagine Linux users and mtg players being mutually exclusive lol
- We're not
Gah and I spent all that money on a garage foundation.

Dazed and confused, but trying to continue

Top one has to be my favorite. I've gotten it once. I did manage to get it to boot and fixed it but at the time I was just like: "oh....well shit"

Your system ate a SPARC! Gah

What does this mean? Does it has something to do with... I don't know, the Sun SPARC CPUs?

It's for SPARC and PA-RISC when the kernel dies
- Okay, but what is sparc and pa-risc?
- nice

BEST os ever, proof is right here.

That's some bare metal system breakage I can get behind

Where lp0 on fire?

I've been messing around with Linux VMs and have gotten kernel panic a lot lately. Always gives me a chuckle

What am I missing in the "end Kernel panic" one?

failed to mount root filesystem on unknown-block(0,0) means the kernel started, loaded builtin drivers and drivers from the initrd, looked for the system partition to continue starting up and couldn't find it.

Maybe you removed a disk and /dev/sdb became /dev/sda or maybe you forgot to add nvme SSD support and the kernel can't read /dev/nvme0n1p1.

Or your disk let out the magic smoke and isn't detected any more.

lp0: on fire

php has a log message about killing children, i think i saw once

I love Linux but this is a huge pain point for me with Linux. Just tell me actual errors like a professional OS would.

Just tell me actual errors like a professional OS would.

Professional OS:
- Ah, my Windows (dual booted and hardly ever used) desktop wallpaper. 😅
It does tell you the actual error, though. Following it up with "Good luck" isn't particularly professional but removing it would just make the message more boring, not any clearer.
- IIRC the person who added that didn't add it as a joke but as a genuine thing.
- One smart thing I think Microsoft did was try to give every error message a code. Googling for "gpoopapp E0013" is often easier and gets more precise results than having to type in "gpoopapp The file /home/bitchslayer69420/.config/share/whatever.yaml could not be opened: File not found"
Personally, I do find these add additional information:

That this really is a rather serious problem.

Entropy, to make it easier to find others with the same problem.
IT IS POSSIBLE THAT SOMEONE IS DOING SOMETHING NASTY!
- ssh!