i'm a bad person and no one would or should like the real me.

i'm extremely mentally ill, with bad mood swings. i'm disordered. i exaggerate everything. i lie a lot and feel like i can't stop, like an addiction. i'm trying to stop. that's why i'm telling the truth right now.

my imagination feels better than reality sometimes. i lied once about being in a coma from a plane crash and got berated for it by my school social worker because i obviously lied, but it was a form of expression to me.

my feelings for my girlfriend and past relationships were never pure love. they were obsession. i got attached too quickly and my feelings became an attachment/obsession i'm trying to work on. i have a fear of abandonment. my love for them isn't pure it feels like, it's mixed with mud.