AITAH for telling my ex boyfriend's new girlfriend to stop coming over to where I live?
AITAH for telling my ex boyfriend's new girlfriend to stop coming over to where I live?
I live at an international dormitory with other international students, here in Japan. I met a guy two years ago and we were good friends ever since, he is japanese and I am Indian. I live in an international students dormitory so I introduced all of my friends to him and we all became good friends. It was usually only me who invited him for any plans even if he was connected to others through social media. He became my boyfriend after some time.
Now one of another Indian guy in my friend group is extremely misogynistic and is only nice to women he wants to sleep with. Needless to say he was not nice to me, would expect me to cater to the Japanese girls he's bringing to the dormitory and then act entitled. I told him I am not going to put up with this behavior, so he started to cut me off from plans ( he used to make so many plans) because he doesn't take his PhD seriously. When I noticed that he started to cut me off from plans, I just simply stopped talking to him.
This guy had a habit of befriending people who have cars, even pretended to be in love with a girl who has a car just so he could travel around. (This is important information for the story) My Japanese ex boyfriend also had a car but it was usually us going around alone.
Eventually we broke up because of a lot of communication gap but decided to stay friends. He made a new girlfriend one month ago and I decided to minimize my conversation with him although I was still very much in love with him.
Now this Indian guy, suddenly started becoming close to my Japanese ex boyfriend because he has a car and the girl he pretended to be in a relationship with because of her car, dumped him. He started inviting him to the dormitory. And my Japanese ex boyfriend started bringing his new girlfriend with him. I wouldn't have had any problem with it but my relationship with my Japanese ex boyfriend became very bad when I found out that he voted for a political party that is same as MAGA and wants to take away foreigners rights. He actually told me he wants to remove Chinese people from Japan but when he comes to my dormitory, he pretends to be their best buddy.
I requested my Indian friend multiple times not to invite him, so he kept telling me that it's a free world and we can do whatever we want (even though he got uncomfortable when I mentioned I would invite his ex girlfriend with a new boyfriend next). I gave him a warning and when he didn't listen, I told his ex the entire story of him cheating on her and then playing victim and calling her crazy when she opened up to their other mutual friends.
I also texted my ex boyfriend's new girlfriend and asked her to stop coming over to my place because I am moving out in two months. And then they can come whenever they want. Whenever they both come here, I feel uncomfortable and stop spending time with the same friends I introduced them to. I even told her that if they both Don't go to her ex-boyfriends place why do.they come to mine especially when I have already requested them multiple times to stop doing it.
Also if he hates foreigners so much and take away their rights, why should he hangout with us? I have not told my friends what he said about the topic to me.
So AITAH in this situation?
It sounds like they are friends with other people and aren’t coming over to your place, but visiting the dorm because that’s where their friends are. There’s not much you can do about that. You should also not be upset with the girl, she didn’t do anything to you.
I would try and drop it. You don’t need to interact with people you don’t like. You also shouldn’t give them any extra time in your head.
You are the AH here, but so is your ex for not being respectful of you. Oddly the way to fix this is go full AH and ignore your ex completely and not think about them their new gf, or their actions at all.
He doesn't has bad relationship with anyone else but he's not good friends with them either. I have no hard feelings for the girl and never said anything to her. I resorted to texting her because my ex boyfriend blocked me when I came down to sit with my other friends. You won't believe that guy has the audacity to ask me to not come down to hangout with my friends as long as he's at my dormitory, so he and his girlfriend Don't feel awkward.
Yeah he’s the AH in that case. You live there, he should have every expectation of seeing you if he’s hanging out there.
I’d ignore it completely. If he has a problem with your existence that’s on him. I’d ask your friends.
Me being the AH I am would ask him in front of the friend group if my existence is still making him uncomfortable. If he says no, then you don’t need to leave. If he says yes, then say you’ll just stay for a few minutes to chat/socialize before leaving. The next time I’d remind him that I left last time, and that i live here and shouldn’t have to leave, so now it’s his turn to leave.