Abbreviating Fantastic Four as FF4

FF$ isn't really four.

it's two and their pet slug and the science wizard stereotype. One bullet later and it's one. The only one that can block a bullet and reach a target before the movie ends.

the slug is the most powerful slug in the metaverse. But lacks mobility. Most of the movie is spent waiting for the slug to reach it's target. An amazing slug if it ever got the chance to do anything more than excrete slime, grumble, and complain. Under all that rock suspect the useless super power came with a sex change. So instead of grumble and complain, became nagging in a smoker voice.

The FF4 is dead IP. There are only two stories that keep getting recycled. It's sad.

Some ideas:

throw the slug into the sun as fuel. Or if it has to be somehow epic, have Ego eat him and crap him out.
rubber band science guy stereotype put him in an Iron suit then retire him. Afterall his only power was being rich and ruining the lives of young boys.
the shield emitting chick spends most of her time not getting a handle on her powers. Occasionally, by complete chance, mildly effective. Sadly her limitation is herself.
flameboy is sorta there and no one knows what to make of him. Think he's allegory for historical firemen who set fires on purpose as extortion to land full time gov't employment. Which he did. So at least one of them is effective at something (besides nagging).

5 comments

"Fuckin'."
"The Fantastic Fuckin' Four."
(I mean, if I hadn't posted this, someone would have.)
Final Fantasy 4
FF$ isn't really four.
it's two and their pet slug and the science wizard stereotype. One bullet later and it's one. The only one that can block a bullet and reach a target before the movie ends.
the slug is the most powerful slug in the metaverse. But lacks mobility. Most of the movie is spent waiting for the slug to reach it's target. An amazing slug if it ever got the chance to do anything more than excrete slime, grumble, and complain. Under all that rock suspect the useless super power came with a sex change. So instead of grumble and complain, became nagging in a smoker voice.
The FF4 is dead IP. There are only two stories that keep getting recycled. It's sad.
Some ideas:
throw the slug into the sun as fuel. Or if it has to be somehow epic, have Ego eat him and crap him out.
rubber band science guy stereotype put him in an Iron suit then retire him. Afterall his only power was being rich and ruining the lives of young boys.
the shield emitting chick spends most of her time not getting a handle on her powers. Occasionally, by complete chance, mildly effective. Sadly her limitation is herself.
flameboy is sorta there and no one knows what to make of him. Think he's allegory for historical firemen who set fires on purpose as extortion to land full time gov't employment. Which he did. So at least one of them is effective at something (besides nagging).
Cecil the Paladin says fuck you!
Maybe Doom came up with it.
Foolish Fantastic 4.