Dirty thoughts (Extra Fabulous)

Sometimes I think of the literal worst thing that could happen.

Like, going to hell, and being told you can leave if you complete some fucked up, borderline impossible task, like:

• Make friends with everyone else who is in hell. Not get them to like you. You must like them too, and enjoy their company. Yes, even Mother Teresa.
• Consecutively live through everyone's life who has ever lived, as a passenger in their brain, you can't control anything, but you experience all physical and emotional pain.
• Suck all sand until the earth is sandless. You have to suck each grain one at a time. Also, you have to find them, they're not just in one big pile, also, there's sand at the bottom of the Marianas trench
• Live your life on repeat until you live it perfectly. What does perfectly mean? You're not told. Also, you're not given any feedback after you die each time. If you try to cheat the system by having fun, you'll be yanked back to hell and raped by demons before starting back at day 1.
• Achieve universal human genocide in 100 different times periods and starting points. Also every person you kill also ends up in hell, and know its your fault.
• Learn every vim function, then be forced to rewrite all the world's code in nano.
• Translate every book, movie, song, and poem ever written into every other language, even dead languages.
• Think of a colour which doesn't exist, then invent a new instrument, and play a song with a tune which has never been performed, invent a new language with a completely new structure, and convince everyone else in hell to adopt it as their primary language.
• read and reply to every comment on the internet. If someone replies, then you need to reply back. Every message must be unique and coherent. Also, spacetime warps to make it possible for everyone to be given a chance to reply to you.