20h ago

How to replace p#rn with something healthy?

I just feel bad watching nsfw videos and im not sure if its normal and sometimes they make me feel sick watching. IM 19 is it normal to have become curious about nsfw stuff? it just annoyed me and im not sure if is should change, i would like to replace my "addiction" with something normal or healthy. if your wondering i come from religious bloodline but dont really adapt to church and such.

What would you advise?

21 comments

At 19 years it's high time to be curious about nsfw stuff. For most people it starts way earlier than that (from 7 typically), but it takes a while to figure out what it means and what it's safe to do about, even more so in a high-strung environment (which religious people often create).
Consuming porn is entirely normal, and an avenue of exploring sexuality. It's not a very realistic depiction: it's based in reality but about as accurate as getting career guidance from movies. That still leaves plenty to learn about what goes where, explore fantasy, different expressions of pleasure/lust/sexuality, besides the option of choosing material that is more real and/or educational.
If the material isn't appealing to you, feel free to change what you consume. Some porn and some expression might not be for you at this time; some will be from shame or ideas from your upbringing, some will just be from you and your sexuality. Try other topics, other creators, other styles, etc. Maybe it's the amount of penis, or botox, or the impersonality, or the body type, or the lighting, or anything really.
Consider trying different media formats, like video clips, movies, images, but also literature (stories, captions, books), anime/manga, erogames, chat, audio recordings (asmr, audiobooks, dramatisations, recordings), etc. I highly recommend using your own mind as well, daydreaming and/or even more actively exploring fantasy.
Of course also explore your body and responses. It's also a lovely thing to do together with people, and much easier if you can feel relaxed and safe enough with eachother to just explore/try stuff. Use barriers, learn about safer practices, and take care of yourself and eachother as you adventure together.
There's nothing inherently wrong with watching porn. Most people do. For the most part, it's a normal and healthy expression of sexuality. As long as you understand that porn is fiction and bears about as much resemblance to real sex as the Fast and Furious movies do to real driving, you should be fine.
You're probably not "addicted" to porn. Can you be addicted to porn? Sure, but you can technically be addicted to anything. Porn is not chemically addictive the way, say, some drugs are. In fact, watching a lot of porn doesn't predict problematic porn usage--but thinking porn is morally wrong does. So basically, you aren't likely to wind up having a problematic relationship with porn unless you already feel guilty for watching it.
- This is correct, OP read this
An easy way to tell if you are addicted to porn is to ask whether it is getting in the way of other obligations in your life. If you've cancelled hanging out with friends or doing work because you were wanking instead, then it's a problem. But if you just want to knock out a quickie before bed, then there's no problem with it. The only unnatural thing about it is the guilt that centuries of christian culture has pushed onto people.
- Another thing worth asking yourself (or even this thread): What do you think is wrong with it? What wrongdoing are you "guilty" of by looking at spicy stuff?
Porn addiction isn't real. It's the Christians attempting to groom men into shame so they can use it to control you.
- Porn addiction is a real thing that happens: there's definitely guys out there that can't get off without it or even get it up with their girlfriend without it. Then yeah it's a problem.
  But if you just casually watch porn, and it being unavailable for an indeterminate amount of time doesn't make you worry or uncomfortable, then it's fine and probably healthy. It is indeed often used in religious context the same way as DARE is presented with drugs: you'll have that one joint and be addicted to fentanyl until you find Jesus which is plain wrong.
  
  Generally speaking you and @Lucky_777@lemmy.world are both right.
  There are people who have issues tied to excessive porn consumption but there is not consensus about it being an addiction. Some experts argue that it’s a compulsion rather than an addiction.
  
  Porn addiction is a real thing that happens: there’s definitely guys out there that can’t get off without it or even get it up with their girlfriend without it.
  Some women can't get off without using a vibrator, are they addicted to sex toys? Should they avoid using them for their safety?
  Why should we expect and demand men to always be able to go full mast on command whilst simultaneously telling women that it's okay if they need a little help?
- it's absolutely a real thing, and shame is often the catalyst
you can say porn
also come from a religious background and it took me a while to grow out of the shame imposed upon me by religion when it came to porn. looking at porn is fine. my dad who was a pastor thought he also had a "porn addiction" and continues to beat himself up to this day about it. repressing your sexuality is far more unnatural imo.
it can be unhealthy to be constantly watching it to the point where your not doing anything else but that behavior is not surprising if you've repressed yourself for incredibly long. after you get it out of your system i find you start to have a natural relationship to porn (i.e. consuming it only sparingly)
just keep in mind real sex is not like porn and most men do not have porn sized penises lol.
Totally normal to be curious/interested in porn. First thing I'd say is to think about what you're watching: does it seem like a healthy thing between two or more people, or is someone being abused or degraded? It's easy to watch a bunch of stuff and get an impression that what you're seeing is normal, but porn caters to various proclivities and they aren't all healthy.
I don't know what to advise about replacing it. You likely have a normal sex drive with no outlet, and expecting yourself to not be horny is probably unreasonable. Fantasy/masturbation without porn might be more reasonable.
Might be worth asking yourself what about it makes you feel bad.
- There's nothing inherently wrong with watching someone be degraded either, as long as you understand that porn is fantasy, the people in the video are acting, and you should never do anything like that IRL without consent.
  
  Intellectually, I agree with you, but personally I feel that we can get jaded to things. Maybe just for me, personally, but I worry that if I watched a lot of porn with someone being degraded, degradation would have less impact on me, and I don't want that to happen. Another aspect, though, is that watching someone being degraded makes me feel shitty, not horny.
I was watching porn at 8 years old on the scramble porn channel. Nothing wrong it with brother, enjoy. Just know it's not a reflection of actual sex.
Now when you're with a woman for awhile, it can turn into porn sex that's amazing for both of you.
*porn. You can say porn on the internet. Don't worry, we won't tell your mommy.
religious bloodline
yikes that reeks of religious eugenics

21 comments