How did you found out that you're demisexual?
I've to be honest haven't heard about demisexuality before, I had a friend who was demisexual and I talked to him about the way I felt and my experiences, he pointed me into this direction and I did further research on this topic and that's ultimately how I got here ^^ What about you?
We found out when we the body was in its 20s, we believe. However, if we had heard of the term before or had positive, or any explicit, representation then it would have been very obvious based on what we said and did in how we related to other people, celebrities, and characters etc.
We're not at all attracted to others in any way unless we have a strong emotional connection to them and even then, it both needs to be maintained and we have a boundary of at least a year before we'll do anything so we can see if somebody actually cares about us and so we can keep ourselves safe. For this reason and others we're very big on consent in all our relationships with all things to do with them.
We are also uninterested in most media where the characters don't talk things out and do their best to connect to and understand each other... well, we are, but we don't go into it for that if the writers couldn't be bothered and it's very frustrating to see characters behave in ways where they somehow 'fall' for each other but keep making mistakes, having misunderstandings, and don't grow together and as individuals or whatever.
We found out when we the body was in its 20s, we believe. However, if we had heard of the term before or had positive, or any explicit, representation then it would have been very obvious based on what we said and did in how we related to other people, celebrities, and characters etc.
Yea, I can understand that very well, I've also found out as I was 20 years old, would've also had realized it way sooner if I knew before what I now know.
it both needs to be maintained and we have a boundary of at least a year before we’ll do anything so we can see if somebody actually cares about us and so we can keep ourselves safe. For this reason and others we’re very big on consent in all our relationships with all things to do with them.
I think this is a good way to approach it :)
We are also uninterested in most media where the characters don’t talk things out and do their best to connect to and understand each other… well, we are, but we don’t go into it for that if the writers couldn’t be bothered and it’s very frustrating to see characters behave in ways where they somehow ‘fall’ for each other but keep making mistakes, having misunderstandings, and don’t grow together and as individuals or whatever.
Oh, I can understand that very well. I've been avoiding media with a focus on romantic or similar all together due a past harmful relationship and I tbh don't miss it. Especially since I know have a much better understanding of how relationships actually work than before.
Never even heard the term until your post fell into my "all" feed browsing. You might want to add a description - or at least a link to what you think is the best one - to the "About" section of your community.
I'm definitely not demisexual, but due to betrayals in my youth (most of which had nothing to do with sex) I don't trust anyone I don't know well enough to have any interest in attempting to pursue them no matter how "hot" they may be. If I don't feel comfortable that I already know who you are well enough, then it'll always be a "look, but don't touch" response from me.
Of course, I've been married for a good while so that's another impediment added. I care too much about my spouse to risk it. Nonetheless, the above was already true before I found "the one."
Never even heard the term until your post fell into my “all” feed browsing.
I'm glad to see that it spread ^^
You might want to add a description - or at least a link to what you think is the best one - to the “About” section of your community.
That's a good idea, I was thinking about it, but wasn't sure what to pick in the end, so I left it empty, but I've got an idea now. Thank you for the feedback!
I’m definitely not demisexual, but due to betrayals in my youth (most of which had nothing to do with sex) I don’t trust anyone I don’t know well enough to have any interest in attempting to pursue them no matter how “hot” they may be. If I don’t feel comfortable that I already know who you are well enough, then it’ll always be a “look, but don’t touch” response from me.
This community is specifically targeted towards people who are demisexual or which have questions in regard to it, nonetheless, I'm glad that you was brave enough to share your thoughts and feelings. I think there are many people out there who can relate and understand the way you feel in regard to trust. If you feel the need to, it might be beneficial to talk with someone you can trust about it if it's a burden to you.
Of course, I’ve been married for a good while so that’s another impediment added. I care too much about my spouse to risk it. Nonetheless, the above was already true before I found “the one.”
Just for clarification, people who're demisexual don't want necessarily sexual interactions with the person they feel sexual attraction to. This depends on the person, just like you. I'm glad you've found someone and I wish you the best for you and your relationship <3
Well, I was having some issues related to my ADHD while also dealingwith some personal issues. Bunch of informative graphics kept bringing up asexuality. No idea what it was referencing so I searched the term and when I got to the demisexual description kind of had a switch go in the head and over a few months of soul searching; came to the realization that I was demi-grey. It wasn't easy as I had to unlearn some assumptions about how the world worked.
I'm sorry for you that you had to deal with those difficulties :<
I'm glad that you came to this point! It also took me a while from thinking "I'm awkward, I'm not normal" to "wait, I'm not awkward, I'm just demisexual, this actually makes sense and is normal". Mostly since I haven't researched it since I didn't really think about that I might not be the only feeling the way I do.
I think many of us had to do this at some point, I'm glad you achieved it!