Funtime Friday! Write a 2 sentence horror

We made it to Friday! Well done everyone. Today's game is to write a 2 sentence horror, doesn't need to be fancy it's just for fun.

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When I open my front door he gives me a dozen roses and kindly asks how my day was. I don't know who he is.
Thank god it's Friday. But Monday is three days away.
:(
- Nooooooooooo!!!
You know that make up product you rely on? It's being discontinued
I woke up to the sound of the dog growling at something in the closet. I don't have a dog.
- I found a note scrawled on a piece of scrap paper reading "I know what you did!". It was in my own handwriting.
  
  I found a document that described an idea so corrosive that understanding it would unmake your mind. You've just read the first two sentences of it.
  
  Oh God that went down my spine
I long for the best day in recent memory, one of celebration and joy before everything took a turn for the worse. Yes, I do believe we've gone downhill quite steeply since that day the moon began to hatch.
"Is the moon twice as big or is it just me?"
"It's not just you, I see it too"
- Oh mate I shuddered
Is it worse to meet a man or a bear in the woods? There is no longer a debate as men and bears have joined forces.
- Shhhh Hilde don't give the manosphere ideas

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