Cocaine Shark (2023)

Shark Week continues!

Elevator pitch

• 'Clash of the Titans' meets 'Altered States'

Summary

An undercover cop infiltrates a drug operation that makes a shark-based hallucinogen, from whose lab various hybrid creatures have escaped.

Trailer

• YouTube - Trailer for Cocaine Shark

Full Movie

:::spoiler Details
Unless otherwise stated, all full movie links I post are for free, no account required, licensed (AFAIK, IANAL) streaming VOD in English (or original language with English subtitles) and work at time of writing in my location, Mexico. Availability and language options may be different in your location. Asterisk by the one I watched.
:::

• Mometu - Cocaine Shark (2023) *

Legal stream finders

• https://nobraincellsleft.github.io/JustWatch-Search/title/tm1317383
• https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/cocaine-shark

Info

• IMDb 1.7/10

Personnel

• Director: Mark Polonia

Cast

• Ken VanSant
• Samantha Coolidge
• Titus Himmelberger

Opinion

This is a bit more like what I was expecting from post-Sharknado schlock. But even schlockier. A bunch of friends and family decide "Hey, we can make our own shark movie!" using their lakehouse and motorboat.

But instead of terrible CGI sharks, we get terrible rubber & papier mâché sharks. Sweet!

Unfortunately we get too much of the non-existent acting and not enough of the laughably bad effects. And it's nothing like the poster, of course.

Score: 1 out of 5 sharks.

Screenshots

The classiness of the opening titles belies the shittiness of the film.

Skellington!

The actor screams "Shark!" But the reflection in his glasses screams "Person with a tripod!"

Hammerhead shark/crab hybrid eats said actor.

Shark/crab also melts people?

Shark/man is still on the loose! Beware the papier maché!