I prefer the soothing "you're being hysterical"
Only works if you pair it with a good open-handed slap across the face. They don’t want you to know that anymore, because of woke.
(don’t make me /s this)
I enjoy using "you can't solve problems with your mouth".
Am I a weirdo? If someone tells me to calm down it kinda wakes me up and makes me think about why I'm getting worked up. It doesn't always calm me down if I think I'm right to be frustrated, but if I'm being unreasonable it usually will get me to take pause.
Most people can't or won't do that
Same. I'm sure there are dozens of us.
As my father used to say, "The only decision you should make while angry is to stop being angry."
How many tits were calmed by 'calm your tits' tho??
In the game "Death Road to Canada", if you have a character with low intelligence, you get the option to say "Cool it!" when talking to people you meet along the way.
That dialogue option always makes them angry and either stop talking to you or attack you outright.
Which is why I only use it when someone is being a genuine dick, 'cause I know it'll send them into a rage.
This is particularly poignant as an autistic person. Being told to calm down when there's fucking nuclear reaction levels of anxiety going on in your brain is a level of condescension that would set off even the calmest motherfucker on the planet if they could experience this for even 5 fucking seconds.
I'm not a woman, but I can at least partially relate to how awful it is to be told to calm down. Shit suuuuuuuucks.
I'm a dude and being told to calm down seems like the male equivalent of calling someone hysterical. I have only ever seen someone told to calm down when the person is being calm, but doesn't like something and might be making a face. It is a condescending denial of emotion just like telling someone not to get upset before giving them bad news.
Just let me get upset and verbally express my frustration or disappointment!
I disagree. I told my wife to "calm down" once, and it worked perfectly. She went from emotional to very calm and focused.
It might have been at the incongruity that I would actually dare say that, or just the time for her incandescent rage to move to fully focusing on me, but she DID calm down (for 2-3 seconds).
*Trying to have a perfectly reasonable discussion with someone.
Calm down
Throws first punch
I don't think it's meant to. I mean, isn't it a more polite version of "shut the fuck up"?
"Alright, relaaaaax"
“Linda, listen”
"Hey, listen!"
If you add some form of "chive on" it does appear to work, tho'.
I disagree. Rema ft Selena Gomez is very soothing.
Wrong.
It calmed at most -500 people just today.
Hands on hips, nose in the air: “I only speak with people who are calm.”
If you say it in the same tone of voice that Muhammad Ali used to tell Joe Frazier to sit down during that television chat show altercation, and while slowly unzipping your trousers in a manner similar to when a cop places his hand on his holstered Glock, it works pretty well.
"Ok ok alright"
And the always helpful: "I'm just calling 911".
(about 2:00 in)
Can you start breathing deeply and count to ten on your fingers / quietly announce “I’m counting breaths” partway through? Maybe motion for them to join…
Perhaps with friends at least
Things you've never done in your life don't count for this.
