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Militarized Border Patrol Storms Los Angeles Park, Gets B-Roll For Kristi Noem's OnlyFans

www.wonkette.com Militarized Border Patrol Storms Los Angeles Park, Gets B-Roll For Kristi Noem's OnlyFans

The soldiers were chased from the park under a hail of weaponized jeering.

Militarized Border Patrol Storms Los Angeles Park, Gets B-Roll For Kristi Noem's OnlyFans

There is much to say about Monday’s Border Patrol audition in Los Angeles’s MacArthur Park for Call of Duty 9: War Boner! . . . Oh, the big tough agents of CBP had it all: fully kitted out in desert camo and automatic weapons like they were storming a Taliban-held village in the Hindu Kush; a mounted machine gun on top of one vehicle like they were expecting a suicide charge by enemy soldiers; neck gaiters to hide their shame; even some dipshit wearing a cowboy hat instead of a helmet like the quirkiest character in a movie about the Vietnam War from the ‘80s.

All so they could bust up a — let's see here — a kids’ summer day camp. That’ll teach those little snots to play outside in a park in warm sunny weather.

. . . Anyway, the whole thing was botched, according to Klippenstein:

Because ICE and CBP apparently failed to communicate or coordinate effectively, the military showed up too late (and Los Angeles authorities weren’t notified until two hours prior.)

“We were on the objective for 24 minutes,” a National Guard member told me. “Many of the phase lines were not reported because they didn’t happen. So we parked and then left. Soldiers didn’t get out of trucks. [They] stayed in the back of the 5-tons [military trucks] sweating in the heat.”

Then LA Mayor Karen Bass came storming onto the scene and demanded the army men get the hell out of her city’s park, which they did, slowly caravaning away while people jeered them. You can imagine the radio chatter: Echo One, Echo Actual, we have multiple unfriendlies lined up on Wilshire Boulevard calling us names and being really mean.

Stephen Miller probably called up the commanding officer and bawled him out for retreating, but it really was the smart move. Who knows how much danger those soldiers could have been in? Somebody might have come by pushing an ice cream cart, only to tell them he was out of Creamsicles.

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