Not me buying The Shire route in The Conqueror Challenges in Spring-ish 2024 to motivate myself to go on more walks and getting a neat little medal at the end with the One Ring inside and being 70% done when I suddenly lose motivation.
The app is still waiting for me to get this challenge done and I just haven't. I hope I'll get it done this summer break because it's a lot of money to just throw out the window.
I love ADHD posts because they always contain condescending people that are incapable of understanding that they’re being condescending. They make assumptions that everyone hopping on the bandwagon isn’t doing any sort of therapy themselves, and we’re all just wallowing in the doom.
Here’s the actual reason why these things help:
- It’s easier to understand yourself when you see others describing similar struggles
- Sometimes this leads to discussions about how to cope and deal on a daily basis
- Sometimes it leads to doing your own research on things (which has been the case for me multiple times, like recently learning about somatic therapy and how it helps deal with dissociation, etc)
- Sometimes it’s also just nice to have a group to cope with together, especially when we all live in a world run by the worst fucking people imaginable
If things have worked for you, that’s amazing. But save the shrugging and dismissive language for… your internal dialogue because zero people need it, unless you’re willing to reframe it in a more constructive way.
ADHD is a broad spectrum and is never a 1:1 between people. For me, openly identifying as someone that has had ADHD since the 90s (diagnosed) can help others understand why I am the way I am. It also helps bond with others which is in itself a support mechanism. Being more open about my brain has also helped friends identify their own struggles, which also lead them to do more research. So it becomes a “pass it on” kind of thing, not just some vapid “hehe suffering” circle jerk.
If you’ve been “weird” like me since childhood and struggled hard in school and life for an eternity before finally finding ways to consistently cope and endure (things that will start and stall a million times over because of ADHD brain), finding community and talking about it is massively helpful. The reality is that at this point everyone could have ADHD brain. It’s a spectrum and we know so little about the brain as it is.
Sometimes it’s also just fun to meme about it.
Thanks for saying this a lot nicer than I could. To add to this, the ‘just do therapy and schedules and reminders and and and and’ people hate to hear it, but sometimes all that works is the drugs.
I live in the US and there have been horrible shortages of many of the most effective drugs for ADHD (amphetamines and its variations). My spouse spent nearly 2 fucking years without the medication he’d been stable on for years and it was a nightmare. He was trying SO hard to keep on top of things, have a good sleep schedule, and there was just no way he could do it. Like, borderline suicidally depressed about having his ability to be functional taken away. After his pharmacy started getting shipments of his old medication in again, it was like a switch flipped.
You don’t get like that because you’re a lazy dumbass who won’t get their shit together, and people are way too casual about ignoring that ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder.
Wait, we are supossed to change hobbies? I just pick up new ones.
Looking at your gear from 2 hobbies ago like, "man, I really need to get out and do [thing] again... Maybe I need to buy some new gear."
Do you go back to the old ones on a frequent basis?
Not frequent, but I do go back
I don't know if I'm ADHD or just lazy.
The over-simplified, highly condensed question to find out is this:
Am i putting this off because i don't feel like doing it right now or do i walk past this everyday and beat myself up about never doing it but no matter how much i want to i just. can't. do it?
I'm definitely a little of both
Do your symptoms significantly negatively impact your life?
Strongly affected by all 9
You can actually do things to control impulses. I feel like this is just giving license to unhealthy coping mechanisms. 🤷♂️
I think the worst part is that even if you do all you can to avoid these things, they may still happen anyway.
The so-called ADHD tax is not something I am personally super affected by because I am usually too paranoid about bankruptcy to spend on much of anything outside of food, bills and necessities.
However things still happen where I lose money because I am the way that I am. There was a period where I became very into eating cucumbers and I would buy one everytime I was at the store until I realized we had six whole cucumbers in the fridge and some of them were going bad.
Things like that happen even though I hate spending money. Even if I don't mean to. They still happen.
The area where I struggle the absolute most is when it comes to structure and routine. You wouldn't believe how many systems I have tried, how strict I have been about them and how every single one of them have collapsed into rubble after a few months. I yearn for structure, routine and stability, but I can't fucking do it without help. I just can't. It is so much effort to build a house of cards and then life happens, like a gust of wind and I have to start from scratch. Every. Single. Time. You can't put the world on pause to have your feeble attempt at stability survive for longer. Shit happens. Sickness, weekends, vacations, family visits and so on. They happen and they will fuck up every attempt at structure I have every single time. My life is the closest to structured when I live the same day over and over and cut out all enjoyment and spontaneity, but that's not how life works. It took me many years to accept this. I just have to build my house of cards all the time and I have to accept that it will collapse all the time.
I imagine that those who really struggle with the ADHD tax are in similar positions. If the tax is to them what the inability to keep structure is to me, then I feel pretty bad for them. Especially if they're being told to "just do it and stop making excuses".
Thanks for sharing your perspective. From my experience there is no perfect solution, routines take time and effort to develop. You can put energy into developing routine, wake up one morning and find it doesn't work anymore. It's like trying to hit a constantly moving target.
My commentary is about the image. I view it as promoting acceptance of behaviors that are unhealthy. I resent the implication that I'm helpless to my impulses, when I have worked so hard to control them.
Not trying to invalidate anyone's experience, just sharing mine
Oh my god! I’m cured! Thank you, oh god thank you! I’m going to go tell my wife to try bring happy when she’s depressed! You’re a miracle worker!
Even if you do everything you can to avoid these things, statistically adhd folks will do them more than neurotipical people
This is exactly how I feel looking at this "meme". It's all money related and feels like it's encouraging people to say things like "oops I forgot to cancel my Amazon prime subscription, I must have ADHD haha". We live in overwhelming times, too much information everywhere, too many subscriptions, too much stuff with instant access, but nobody ever mentions that.
People used to get their news from a newspaper once a week. There weren't 10-20 "subscriptions" to keep track of. You couldn't pull a thing out of your pocket to relieve boredom or sadness or loneliness, and people couldn't contact you expecting a response within an hour. We're not used to this biologically...
To me, this meme seems to be making fun of ADHD more than anything.
Most of these replies seem to assume I have no understanding or empathy for these problems. I just don't like the image, and the implication that we have absolutely zero control over impulsive decision making.
To control impulses does not mean to cure them. My experiences as a person with ADHD are just as valid as everyone else's.
How did you find my bingo card?
Oh yes. Before my partner and I got diagnosed these were the source of so much tension in our relationship too. Now we are able to laugh about it and shrug it off but you never stop paying these.
The most recent expensive one for me was a bunch of clothing returns that needed to go back in 30 days. I really thought i still had time but when the stars finally aligned some 70 days had slipped by. Then you gotta fess up to what you did so you end up paying more than just the monetary tax.
5 / 9
Perfect score?
No that was 5/7
