July is disabled pride month. Disabled members, is there a question you're tired of being asked?
Disabled people can get bombarded with questions, which can be pretty tiring.... alternatively the disability can be totally ignored which can be rough. Is there a question you're tired of being asked?
Biiiiitch i've been living with rheumatoid arthritis since 12, adult onset muscular dystrophy since my late teens and i broke my back in 2005 i have tried things you cannot even conceive of
For me it's anything making negative assumptions. "Do you want me to help you love?" NO FUCK OFF I'M AN ADULT I CAN ASK YOU IF I NEED ANYTHING. If I'm obviously struggling, I don't mind, but if I'm not ffs don't assume I am! "Are you sure you can do XYZ?" Yes of course I am! I live with this I know how it works.
Agreed. It's not questions that are the main problem. It's stories and articles about how disabled people have overcome their disability that are the real problem. Yeah, good for them, but that's not realistic for most people and it gives able-bodied people a false sense of what we can accomplish.
I'm getting a hysterectomy in two weeks to treat severe endometriosis and so many people have asked me if this is actually a valid treatment and if I want kids. My specialist is one of the best in the country. If she says yeeting my uterus will prevent more endo surgeries and pain, I'm yeeting my uterus. I'm tired of this shit. I also have zero desire to be a parent to humans.
The world is so baby obsessed that the thought of removing a uterus to treat a debilitating disease is fucking unthinkable. My boss was like, "Have there been studies that show this surgery fixes this problem?" My boss's wife added, "what if you ever want kids?"
And I was like, "It's kinda hard for a uterus-based disease to continue if you don't have a uterus. My doctor is also one of the best specialists in this disease in the country and probably the world. I trust her. And if I ever want kids, I'll just adopt."
People get visibly and verbally disappointed when I say that I don't want kids. Fucking disgusting behavior. The only person that doesn't seem to give a shit that I don't want kids is my surgeon. She just wants me to not be in debilitating pain and accepts my word on the fact that I do not want children.
Like, I've been asked so much about kids in the past month, it's ridiculous. It's invaded my goddamn dreams at this point. I just want people to leave me the fuck alone. Just acknowledge the news of my surgery I'm telling you as a courtesy and fuck off. Please.
The world is so baby obsessed that the thought of removing a uterus to treat a debilitating disease is fucking unthinkable.
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People get visibly and verbally disappointed when I say that I don’t want kids.
I will never understand this, even as someone who now wishes she could get pregnant but can't ... having kids is such a huge and personal choice, it's hard for me to understand where people are coming from when they are so normative about it with other people. My own desires don't translate to wishing other people have kids too. (I know I'm different in many ways, but still, that's my point - I'm different and don't understand other people.)
I'm so sorry you face this social stigma, it strikes me as misogynistic and reductive (as well as just rude and inconsiderate to your suffering and reality). I'm so glad you have your surgeon!