Impostor syndrome with a side of my-family-is-controlling-my-life-even-though-I-don't-live-with-them-anymore (this feels like there'd be a single word for this in German or a similar language)
my-family-is-controlling-my-life-even-though-I-don’t-live-with-them-anymore
Distanzfamilienkontrollsystem. You are welcome.
Imposter syndrome is for sure hard to shake. For how long has it been going on?
And yeah meddling family is also totally my typical nightmare
my-family-is-controlling-my-life-even-though-I-don't-live-with-them-anymore
I suspect that this is more common than we realize. There are the obvious cases, like you and me, but since I got clear I've realized that it frequently doesn't really look controlling to an outsider and that even from inside it can look and feel normal without actually leaving you free to be yourself. Now that I know what to look for, I see a lot of people living their lives to family (and other) standards that do not allow for personal growth.
Good luck on your journey!
Slowly spiraling into depression realizing that BPD is going to finish my marriage.
Meanwhile my spouse simply doesn't care about it, so overall it's lonely and sad experience
That does sound more than rough and harsh :( I’m sorry to hear that you are so alone and that it has such a negative development. Especially as it sounds like you are the only one still fighting for the marriage. :/
My 3 years old child seems to be doing social anxiety. He doesn't want to play with other children, he is scared of too much noise, he hates daycare and he never talks there because he is too shy. I'm heartbroken by this and I'm not sure how to help him out.
I’ll resume my Masters next year and recently started reading The Will to Change by Bell Hooks
and I’m flabbergasted that there is literature about topics I felt like I was developing a personal opinion about :D Otherwise I’m struggling with a person in my friend group who feels so disinterested in everything and mostly just annoyed and combative. As I usually game in my free time it’s ridiculous to me to have such an incredibly bad mood in your free time and when spending time with friends for MONTHS. rant over
