"See everybody? I'm not on drugs!"

always great to see urine test results from a troglodyte who probably cannot physically even urinate properly

There is an addendum:

Creatine: normal

weak baby, gotta get GAINS

hes on drugs that arnt detected by a tests, he means.

If he has not enough computer skills to fake such a document, he probably has someone who can. Just like has people playing games for him.

How can he expect us to believe this when his blood isn't even on the blockchain?

Oh great, a screenshot posted by the guy known to pay people to pretend to be him being good at games, who has spent the last few years— damn I mean the last few months, trying to see whether he can set the bar higher for destroying net worth or the lives of uncountable people all over the world.

Can we overlook the potential fact that he's not on drugs and focus on him admitting that he acts the way he acts WITHOUT drugs as an excuse?

Where do you think he got the pee?

Grok, how long does it take for all the drugs in this report to clear your system?

Piss test catches ket for a week. A hair test catches it for a year. Something to think on.

Until i personally test his hair for ketamine I'm not going to be convinced. I used to know a lot of crusties. I know what it looks like when someone's in a k hole.

Half of those literally only show up if you're on them when you get the test lol

Like when Fox News got their hands on 40,000 hours of January 6 footage, and edited a 2 minute montage of people being not committing mayhem, and then used that carefully edited clip to claim the allegations of violence were liberal lies.

... People constantly say he's on drugs. This is such a dumb post lol

Also yes he's on drugs that report is clearly bs

Lmao, reminds me of this Chinese phrase "此地無銀三百兩" (There are no 300 taels of silver buried here)

It is said to come from a story about a man named Zhang San (張三). According to the story, he buried 300 taels of silver in the ground with the banner “There are no 300 taels of silver (buried) here” so that no one would steal them. But his neighbor Wang Er (王二) saw through the lie and dug up the money, leaving the banner “Your neighbour Wang Er did not steal (the silver)”.

He must really think we are all as dumb as he is.

I really don't care, but if we're playing this game, could we get a hair test?

It'd be better if it showed positive. At least there might be a reason for him being such a shitty person, now there isn't...he's just a shitty person with no excuse.

It's obviously impossible that could be faked. I mean an image of a text document? There's no way!

Mere emojis are insufficient to convey how much I'm rolling my eyes.

They test for "ecstacy", the street name, not "MDMA" the official name? Where did he get these test results from, his dealer?

Opiates are tested, and oxycodone? But oxycodone is an opiate. Is this list created by chatgpt?

It says it was a urine sample. As if the richest man in the world cannot get a clean urine sample from someone. It's probably from the only kid he gives attention (to block snipers when he's out in the open). That's probably why the kid punched him in the face. Because daddy wanted to touch his pipi.

If the claim is that his obnoxious behaviour is nothing to do with his drug habit, I'm prepared to accept that.

Because drug tests are famously impossible to falsify, right?

The worse implication of this is that even if the results are true (which I don't accept because there was no witness or video evidence of the specimen collection), he still did all that crazy shit, including two nazi salutes, while allegedly sober.

Love how he doxxed the Dr.

given the videos of him high.

it would be better for him to admit he has a problem for simpathy, than admitting that him twitching on camera is his normal self.

He absolutely did not submit the urine of one of his army of children.

For sure not.

Well, as much as I'd love to believe him, I can't. I start immediately asking questions, like, why is every word either all caps or start with a capital letter except for the word "negative"? Could be the way that lab does it, but almost nowhere else seems to.

“There is no quicker way for people to think that you are diddling kids than by writing a song about it!”

First thing that came to mind.

Everyone says he is high, he is visibly high, and he admits to doing drugs on the regular... Clean drug screen!? How fucking stupid does he think everyone is.

How did this dud ever get mistaken for a genius?

Well I for one am perfectly convinced that patient TX45788288 is clean and free of drugs. Of course, I don't really know who that is. Probably isn't Musk though. Even if it is, I'm quite sure that he could easily find someone to piss in a cup for him for a million or so. Hell, I hate the dirt bag and I would have done it for a million bucks.

Also, I would never impute the integrity of Jennifer Taylor of Fastest Labs of South Austin, but I think maybe her boss should check to see if she suddenly jumped into a new tax bracket.

Most of these drugs are pretty much undetectable after abstaining for a few days. Big deal. Negative cannabis use surprised me a little but he probably left it behind when he picked up his ketamine binge. That said who the hell advertises their test results like this wtf?

I wonder who's piss he used?

Fun story time: I once got informed of a drug test for a job I'd just accepted after a weekend of hard partying. I was on prescription opiods, Adderall, and ketamine. They called Monday morning at 9 to tell me I had to piss within 4 hours. I hadn't even slept yet. I should have lit that test up like a Christmas tree for everything except thc. It came back clean. They never asked about my prescriptions. I have 2 theories. 1) they don't actually test. 2) if too many things light up, they assume it's a calibration issue.

Yelp for this place

and the two reviews that it has

I used to do a handful of various substances daily. I passed every single urinalysis I took and I was high out of my mind when I would take them it's called OPP

Ya down with OPP ?!

Yeah! You Know Me !

Edit: I knew how to do drugs and never acted like this dummy. Not once !

This is as legitimate as his Path of Exile account.

Ketamine goes away in 4-8 hours for most people.

Laconic

Excusatio non petita, accusatio manifesta

One study published in the International Journal of Legal Medicine found that ketamine can be detected in hair up to 4 months after a single dose.11 Ketamine and its metabolites were also detected in scalp samples collected by a wet cotton swab up to 48 hours after administration of the drug. In a study of urine samples collected from hospitalized children who had received ketamine as an anesthetic, ketamine could be detected in the urine up to 11 days after drug administration and its metabolites could be detected for up to 14 days.12

https://americanaddictioncenters.org/ketamine-abuse/how-long-does-ketamine-stay-in-your-system

So he went 11 days free of ketamine?

Well I didn't see him piss in the cup so I refuse to believe this. We must see him pee to ensure he didn't use a bag of piss.

The same piss test also showed Elon is pregnant.

New meme template just dropped.

Gosh that labs phone number is right there huh. Kinda tempted to call and ask about it, since he's made this public and all...

I thought he was on record saying that he regularly takes ketamine therapeutically.

The fact that this list says there’s no ketamine in his system, makes it super suspicious.

So, he's just naturally that stupid and weird?!?!

Even if the test were irrefutably him (and it could be totally fake or someone else), how much would it cost to make an illegal clone of himself? How many do you think Musk could afford? Why should I trust any billionaire?

So he took long enough to have the drugs be completely out of his system. So what? I would have believed it if he had posted a clean bill of health within 24 hours of the accusations.

Whose pee was it?

Nitrite validity: alien

🤣