What's the age cut off for socially acceptable gaming
So, hear me out.
I'm a 47 year old guy and I'm not ashamed to say that I enjoy video games. I always have, from playing Head over Heels on a Speccy +2 to ESO and Valorant on my self built PC.
Due to various life circumstances, I'm also on the dating scene and to most women I meet, around my age, video games are anathema. When I say that I like them it's usually meet with an "oh dear" or a "my son would probably love to talk to you about them, I find them really boring"
I have two boys, both teenagers, both play all the time and sometimes we all play together (although they are better as they have more time to apply to games). Their friends are amazed that I will talk about games with them, that I know someone about games and that I play games. None of their parents want to talk with them about what is effectively their main hobby that they do all the time (big sad).
So the question, there must be some sort of cut off age at which video games are no longer an acceptable pastime. Is it absolute age based (nothing after 35) or is it something to do with the progression of games into popular culture and people born after, say, 1986 will not see it as unacceptable?
I don't have an answer, I just think it's an interesting question. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!
Edit to add: I'm not planning on stopping through peer pressure, just wondering about the phenomenon!
I'm 45. I spent the weekend playing video games with my 43-year-old girlfriend and her nephew. When we thought she had COVID I bought a couple games that were online multiplayer so we could play together while she was isolated.
You just need to find the right people for you. Put "I love video games" in your Tinder profile, and this will weed out people who think that's for kids. Put yourself out there as you are, and it will attract the people who like you for who you are.
Nah. If you enjoy it, and your kids like spending time with you gaming, then who cares?
Life is too short and kids grow up too fast to care what some grumpy old people who wouldn’t know fun if it hit them in the head will say about what you enjoy.
I'm with you—I'm not going to allow peer pressure to get to me, but it's obvious that people believe it's childish. Fuck 'em. I think it's a better hobby than mindlessly watching TV, for sure.
I'm a 51 year old woman who plays video games (including ESO, PC/EU). We exist. If there is some sort of arbitrary cutoff age when I'm supposed to stop gaming, I will be steadfastly ignoring that "rule", if I haven't already.
It might be an age thing - I'm 32, game as a hobby, and work in software. 80% of my coworkers play games to some extent, and most are in their twenties to mid thirties.
But when I used to work in healthcare, I think only a few of my coworkers shared the hobby.
Generally, I think the younger the generation is, the more acceptable and "normal" gaming is. It's not a guarantee, but it's definitely more common.
Edit: I'd just be yourself and do as you like. There's definitely people out there who share your hobby. Some of the older members of a long-standing guild I'm a part of are in their 50's or retired. I will say that the gender ratio skews mostly male for older gamers though. The women I know who are interested in games are all sub 40 (this is just a personal observation, your results may vary)
"what is the age cut off for socially acceptable fun having" is what I read. Do what you enjoy and anyone saying you shouldn't do X, or you are too old to do Y aren't the type of people I associate with. Just turned 30 and I never plan to stop.
No such thing as a cut off age! I guess it's down to personal preferences and you may find people who are into video games well into their seventies. I can definitely see my husband and myself playing MMOs in a retirement home 😂.
If the people you're matching up with judge you for having a hobby which is no different than, say, watching TV series on Netflix, maybe you need to weed them out.
Do what you enjoy, I'm nearly 30 and I plan to game until some pries this mouse and keyboard or my controller from my cold dead hands! Have fun and don't worry about it!
Anyway, as a 35yo, there's no cutoff point. It's all culture. Women and men alike will scoff at video-games as children's toys, but it's because of their own culture growing up. There are also men and women out there who enjoy it as well. Typically more men, but not just.
There's a huge self-selection bias in action here... Subscribe to gaming sub, find gamers haha.
Just be yourself dude. If the ladies don't grok it, just let it slide. But you do need to find commonalities if you're dating. So don't bore them to tears about gaming if they don't care -- find something else in common to talk about. If they judge you, however, find someone else.
Be 80 and play Fifa, it's fine. There's no age where you are obliged to put down your controller for the last time. But it shouldn't be your first answer while you're dating, and definitely not your only one.
Being a gamer, as an identity, has a lot of baggage.
Having gaming be your only interest or hobby is associated with being an unambitious self-interested person who intends to do as a little as possible, as long as possible. The recognisable games are marketed towards kids/teens with time to burn.
Imagine your date's interest was "moderating Reddit", "watching TikTok", or "reading Instagram". That's what 'gaming' sounds like: your hobby is media consumption.
There's no age where you aren't allowed to consume media; but it's worrying if that consumption is your identity, if consumption makes up your routine.
So it's not actually about age - it's about maturity and goal-setting.
When we're younger, most of us live moment-by-moment. Media consumption offers no future, but it has a pleasurable present.
But as people age, people develop goals and interests that require more investment and focus, and they're looking for people that are doing the same. A cutthroat economy demands people develop goals for financial stability, even if they still otherwise like games.
As we age, we stop looking for somebody to hang out with, but to build a life with.
So once the people you're talking to have interests for the future, "I enjoy my present doing my own thing" doesn't offer them anything. If they don't play games, they don't even know what games are capable of. Maybe one day they'd enjoy playing Ultimate Chicken Horse with you.
But right now, they just see the recognisable titles that want to monopolise children's time, and assume you're doing that. They picture you spending 20+ hours a week playing Fortnite. And there is an age cut-off where it's no long socially-acceptable to be a child.
It's not that video games are bad, but they're a non-answer. They want to know what you do that's good, and a non-answer implies you don't have a good answer at all, and that makes video games 'bad'.
Definitely keep searching and find someone who accepts your hobby, even if maybe they don't partake themselves. I'm 30 and still play video games, though admittedly my career and hobbies eat into a lot of my play time, I don't see myself stopping.
I have a feeling that if you worded it differently you'd improve the dating thing. If instead of "yeah, I like gaming" you said "my sons love videogames and we've been bonding a lot this way, it's been a nice hobby to get all of us closer" the non-gamers might be able to empathize more and keep the conversation alive.
My dad is 66. He still games every day. Go dad! He's just about to fully complete fallout 4. Fuck anyone who doesn't get it, their opinions don't matter. Do what makes you happy.
My grandfather played games (CIV, WoW, and Elder Scrolls) until his death at 89 years old.
Enjoy the things you enjoy, someone who is your person will like that you enjoy things you enjoy.
Living within the bounds of common “social acceptability” is stifling and dull, in my personal experience. Being kind and considerate is important, but why waste precious time trying to suppress or conceal harmless parts of oneself?
I’d rather select for settings where I can be embraced as my authentic self. I was forced to live with someone who was harshly judgmental and crapped on facets of me daily when I was growing up. I’d NEVER willingly subject myself to that again.
I'm getting up to your age, but over the last few years I've been spending less time (nearly no time) playing video games, and I grew up with them! The only exception is if my son and I are playing together, then I don't mind sinking a few hours into it.
Gaming is an investment of time.
Not that I find it unacceptable, especially if that's a pastime or hobby, but the older I get, the more I realize that I don't **want ** to spend any more time than I need to in front of a screen.
My priorities and commitments have also changed over the years, so any "free time" I get is usually spent maintaining the house, fixing something, running errands, being outdoors, or preparing meals for my family.
As a side note, I think some of my feelings have also been caused by the direction the gaming industry has gone.
I simply don't have the patience to be bothered with today's video game business model to really care at all about investing time into it. Microtransactions, "seasons", Gold/Platinum/GOTY/<insert another edition here> versions, unnecessary grinds to get non-important stuff, ads in the console dashboard and in games, etc.
I'm more likely to play a retro game off an emulator than I am playing one on my Xbox Series X on a 120Hz, 4K, OLED TV.
There's no cut off. Some people are just judgy (and often hypocritical).
I'm the same age as you and I've been gaming my whole life. My father had all the Ataris, (2600, 400, 800, XT, etc...). He and I built my first 386 together. My uncles had the Intellivision. Cousins with the ColecoVision. My father's almost 70 and he's still an avid Destiny 2 player.
I will admit tho, it's harder to find women, our age, who are either into or at least open to gaming as an adult hobby. I'm not saying they don't exist but having been divorced and remarried I can say there's a gender gap there. I was lucky enough to find someone open minded. She never complained about my weekly game nights to keep in touch with my friends and she's even opened up over the last few years and has become a bit of a gamer herself.
So... there is no cut off. It's not immature or childish, and it's certainly more of an art form than 3/4 of the garbage those same people will spend their free time on (reality tv, tiktock, endlessly scrolling the void of facebook).
You're at the end of Gen X (as am I), meaning most of the women of your age group that you're probably dating didn't really grow up around video games and probably still see them as a wasteful, childish pastime, which was the general, parochial view of our parents' generation about our hobbies. (Sure, endlessly watch people play sports on television but never waste your time doing something you personally enjoy.)
Meanwhile, those even a few years younger than us grew up in a generation where more and more girls grew up with video games, have a more personal relationship with them, and understand the value of the hobby. That's only increased with time.
My own wife, who is at the older end of the Millenials, grew up playing video games with her younger brothers but never had any real affinity for them. She's never particularly cared about my gaming (something I do now with my daughter), though she's never taken interest in playing anything herself.
Ultimately, you'll probably just have to choose a better class of date.
I have wildly diverse hobbies, so I usually manage to mention something that people around me find weird. Gaming is one of them, and since I am not just your age but also female, I have received tons of strange comments over the years. At least my being somewhat fluid in English isn't making me stand out anymore!
I think computer-related activities are seen different by our age group since we didn't exactly grow up with it, or at least most of us didn't. I know I was already a teenager when my parents bought us kids a computer, and that one needed inputs in BASIC and was textbased only. And while several of my classmates had similar experiences plus parents who insisted this was useful to know for our futures (and boy, where they right!), most of us still preferred to spent our time elsewhere. I see the difference in my kids, who grew up with not only computers and related technology, but also the internet. My son occasionally played board games via an internet platform by the time he was five (under supervision, of course), and as such, video games are much more part of daily life for that generation.
In my eyes, the decades-long discussion on when to give your child his/her first mobile phone has similar roots: We were used to a slower pace of life, that as a child you carry a few coins so that you can call your parents from a pay phone in an emergency, and otherwise you had to be at home at a specified time. Play dates with school mates were discussed in person at school, and so forth. Our children are dealing with far faster pace, discussion with class mates only occasionally take place eye-to-eye, and their schedules have become much more complex and fluid. Also, they grow up knowing everybody and anybody carries a phone in their pocket, and of course they want the same. Technology is integrated into their lifes from the start, and that means gaming is far more acceptable as a pastime.
I'm 55 and I will probably be playing right up until I die. You do whatever makes you feel comfortable, I am too old to give a fuck what other people think.
I think it's more of a generational thing than an age thing. Younger generations that grew up surrounded by games don't think it's weird and I while you do have less time to game as you get older I don't think it'll ever get weird.
I'm 33 and learned about PC gaming mostly from my grandfather when I was about 10. He had games like Jazz Jackrabbit, Jill of the Jungle, and other early era Sierra games. He also introduced me to Nethack for which I am eternally grateful! He continued playing games and using 3d rendering software until he lost his eyesight in his late 60s, and even then used a screen reader to use a computer for some other things. I think any cutoff age is going to be largely dependent on what social circles you're discussing and what area you're in.
Was about to say that there is no cutoff age. I distinctly remember my grandfather playing RPGs on the Super Nintendo when I was a kid. That man played most of his life and well into his older years. Do what you love to do man. Ignore those who don't appreciate that you have a hobby you actually enjoy.
I’m in agreement with most here. There doesn’t need to be a cutoff age. My dad is in his 70s and is super excited for the new Final Fantasy coming out.
It took me a minute to come back around to gaming because, I thought being mature meant having different hobbies, or suppressing my desire to indulge in “childish” things. Hell, I was that dude that bailed on my friends who still played dungeons and dragons because we were supposed to be growing into mature adults and mature adults don’t play pretend.
Now I’m like, love the things you love.
Unabashedly.
It can be a little knife to your soul when you meet someone that you think you like and they belittle something you’re into, but, in my book, properly decent people don’t do that. Decent people don’t shit on you for being excited about something or for being interested in a hobby (unless your “hobby” is something that harms people or your environment). I like to think that decent people will try to understand what you like about the things you like.
It takes a lot for a person to be vulnerable and say, “this is a thing I like.” People who are worth your time will respect that vulnerability.
I’m impressed you can keep up with the kids playing Valo and Apex, I get dogwalked in most FPS games because I’m a slow old man. Lol.
I'll be 59 this year and have been gaming since Pong. They'll pry my controller from my cold, dead fingers. Also, I'm a woman as is the circle I play with, who are also all older women (45+). We do exist and couldn't give a fuck about what society thinks about it.
Better gaming than just being a potato watching TV every spare minute with no other outlet.
Gaming's been shown to help prevent dementia because it keeps the brain active.
Consider that the women that you've been trying to date that don't appreciate gaming just aren't the right partner for you.
You and I (45) are part of the first gamer generation, the first generation that had the opportunity to grow up around video games. As such, you'd expect gaming be a normal hobby for people of our age, and to some extent, it is. However, many people have grown out of games and consider them childish. I think that this is because the games of our childhood were very simple and shallow entertainment. Over the years, games have come to address more and more serious topics with a depth not unlike that of "higher" cultural media such as film or literature, but the people who grew up and left gaming behind before this development don't know that. Their only experience of games may be the simple, "childish" games of the 70s and 80s, so they consider gamers childish as well.
I would say it's not really an age thing. I mean age probably plays a role but ultimately it's just a hobby that is relatively common and not very exciting to an outsider.
This is definitely experienced by 20 year olds too. There is definitely a social pressure.
Based on this, 12% of people in your age bracket play video games, it's typically a roughly 50/50 split by gender. Not exactly a small amount. I think it's more that if you date 10 women, one will be a gamer and you've just not met that one.
Never.
There is a cut off for boring people however. Every person who decides to shit on your hobbies because they don't find them interesting needs to be cut off.
So the question, there must be some sort of cut off age at which video games are no longer an acceptable pastime. Is it absolute age based (nothing after 35) or is it something to do with the progression of games into popular culture and people born after, say, 1986 will not see it as unacceptable?
Why do you care what other people/society thinks? Play/watch/read/do whatever you want. As long as you're not hurting anybody and you're enjoying yourself why would it matter
I'm only in my early 30s and have no intention of not playing video games because I hit a certain age. I think a lot about this old lady I used to follow on Twitter who would review JRPGs and how cool she is (unfortunately I stopped using Twitter and don't remember her handle). I think these days, it's less likely for it to be "weird", whereas I remember being a kid and hearing people say it was childish.
33M with a daughter that will be learning Rocket League as soon as she shows any interest. 😂
It's definitely skewed by generation, but it's just an ignorance thing.
My dad quit videogames when I chopped him down with a 180 in 1080 Snowboarding on the N64 right before the finish line.
He loves watching Star Trek.
I game about how much he watches TV. One is passive. One is engaged. Both are fine.
He has spent most of my life thinking they're dumb, but has kind of chilled out over time. Just wish he would check out Starfield or whatever when it comes out.
That said, gaming is polarizing. You either come from a place where it's misunderstood to celebrated or you come from a place where it's vilified.
I have an uncle who put down video games my whole life like I was wasting it.
I'm happily married with a house and a kid and my life is totally kickass.
He's got a (thus far) bad investment in a sim space these days. His sons company. He insists it isn't video games.
You know... It's literally the highest end of gaming... Like, wut.
I can totally see why back then, 40 years ago, they felt like it was discriminatory. It's like adding the word "Chinese" or "Russian" Infront of a product. Seeing that country name infront of product might reduce the amount of people that purchase the item. The initial feeling of discrimination can last for years, even if the word and the world outlook has moved on. It's not so easy to tell someone to forget it especially if you need to make money off of it for your livelihood. Of course some of those games are famous now a days, but if you had a rough start in your 20-30, you'll remember it for a long time.
I think it's generational. When I talk to folks about gaming in their early-mid 30's, the majority of them either also game, or at least don't think it's weird. Video games and board games too.
I think once you hit that rough age cutoff for millennials, late 30's-early 40's it seems video gaming and board gaming also largely falls off. At least that's been my experience.
My spouse and I are in our 30's and most of our peers game. Keep it up and never stop having fun!
I think it's less of an age cutoff and more of a binary "do you base your identity around this" sort of deal. You'd never catch me calling myself a gamer, even though I'll play video games fairly regularly
I am 45, so I understand what you are talking about. The issue is not strictly age. One does not simply age out of video games. I think the issue is just that our particular age group and generation is sort of on the dividing line between two extremes. On one extreme are those that are older than us have never played video games because they didn't exist when they were kids. My older sister is just old enough that she never played video games because as they were created, they were created for kids my age and younger and therefore she had no interest. To her, they will always be kid things even though they are now developed to be appealing for all ages. On the other extreme are those a lot younger than us where basically everyone plays video games. Not very many of the younger generation gives up entirely on video games.
I predict that in 30 years, video games will be popular in nursing homes and retirement homes whereas currently, no one in that age group has much interest at all. By that time, the whole population will have been exposed to video games their whole life and that will make all the difference.
In the current oldest generation there is not much stigma to deal with because none of them had video games growing up, so there is very little interest. And in the youngest generation, there is very little stigma because everyone plays video games. Meanwhile, we will always be part of the generation where only some of us kids played video games - mostly boys, and mostly seen as the nerds if we stuck with it.
I'm in my late 50s and I'm a PC gamer on linux. I game more than ever now since gaming on linux is a complete joy right now, at least on Steam.
Gaming is something that I'll be doing long after playing tennis or biking or hiking are options. If someone else (friend, family member, date) doesn't like it, no sweat. I don't like to do a lot of other things people like to do and can game on my own. If they can't handle it, well, bullet dodged I guess.
Meh, my wife and I are 48 and are both playing the same JRPG phone game (Another Eden. It's a Gatcha, but plays more like a traditional single-player JRPG). And she loves to watch me play FFXIV and other story-heavy games that she has trouble playing herself. And we are in a D&D game Saturday nights.
So I wouldn't worry about it too much, you just gotta find the right woman.
I think the time to stop playing games is when you're dead. Until then, nope. No cut off age. Why stop doing the things you enjoy. You should be free and comfortable doing anything you enjoy as long as it doesn't negatively impact on anybody else's life.
My relatives were asking me if I wasn't "grown up enough" to stop playing video games when I was 18.
It is not an age issue as much as it is just them associating something they dont get / understand with being childish since only children "play games".
You're looking at it from the wrong direction. It's what age is the cut off that gaming was the norm growing up, and therefore remains a part of the culture at any age. I'm 38 and most people I know, both men and women, are into some type of gaming. I feel I'm already fairly close to that line so if you're looking at just a decade ahead, you grew up in the 70s and early 80s when gaming was just truly making it's first rise. For my generation in the 1990s though it was almost an expectation of childhood and making friends. Looks like you have to start dating people in their 30s.
If they have issues with your hobbies they're not worth it. Who cares what you're into, if it doesn't negatively affect things, who the hell cares. My wife and I regularly game right next to each other and we're well past the "normal" age for gamers.
I think elder millennials are definitely at the cutoff point for it. I'm in my early 30s so I'm a millenial with a capital M. Right in the middle of the generation. I'd also argue that we were the pivoting point for mainstream gaming.
Based on interactions with people my age and older I'd say the cutoff is closer to like 35 maybe 38? Even in my generation I remember growing up in high school and middle school that it wasnt as socially acceptable to play videogames for girls. As a 34 year old I'll say they werent uncommon and I played games with girls growing up and it wasnt hard to find girls my age in hs and college who played games, but it seems like the majority of girls were encouraged to age out of it. If I were to make up a number I'd say maybe 1/4 played video games? maybe half depending on the setting.
Even among guys I'd argue that after a certain age a majority of guys kept to a very specific type of game like sports games and maybe an FPS like halo or Cod.
It was during my late teens and early 20s that geek chic really took hold and it became more and more socially acceptable to like hobbies that were previously seen as childish or nerdy and it not be a big deal. I feel like a lot of "closeted" nerds and gamers became more open about the silly things they liked, and those who stopped because they were embarrassed as teens were willing to pick up a controller again.
The cultural shift happened right in the thick of things though so the closer you are to gen X the more likely you were expected to outgrow things and the closer you were to gen z the more you're allowed to just have fun.
I personally think it's only related to birth generation. For currently past 30 years old it was still pretty rare for people to game a lot. Now everyone has a smartphone and gaming is a big business.
Also people past a certain age develop a level of "old people grumpiness" and this sticks to them in whatever they do. Some lost interest in hobbies and are seriously envious of people enjoying gaming instead of watching TV all day or gossiping with neighbors. I also believe current younger generstions are much more understanding of other people's life choices, less judging. Not long ago young marriage was the goal number one, for thousands of years.
We're live in a fast changing age at the moment.
50+ gamer here and my social circle all game. Wife doesn’t like to use the controller but will sit through and give hints with the puzzles. (We tend to play adventure/puzzle games) My father in law who is 84 still games. There is no age limit. Do what you enjoy and find people who enjoy it with you.
My parents are in their 50s and do not view video games as an unusual hobby. My father regularly plays games with his friends (aged 30s to 50s) on Friday nights and the weekend.
The only person I've met who viewed video games like what you describe was a mid-60s gentleman who struggled to believe that I played video games regularly and had a good GPA in college. His hobbies were golf and walking, though, so he wasn't about to call anyone else's hobby "boring."
There is no age or demographic for whom video games are an unacceptable pastime. There are merely individuals who have their own weird hangups regarding the hobbies of others.
At 38, I don't see myself stopping any time soon. None of my older relatives play video games, and it's weird. Like, nothing at all.
I plan to live up to 100, hooked up to some ultra futuristic VR machine, living my last days on some awesome gaming multiverse, and maybe staying there after my body dies.
I'm 48. I was dating five years ago, and now I'm married to a woman who doesn't play games at all. So I'll say this: when a date says "oh dear" or some such when you say you play games, that's a red flag. Even if they don't personally play, it's pretty shitty for a partner (or potential partner) to try to make you feel bad about about your hobbies. Absolutely fuck that noise. They don't have to like the same things, but it's a whole other situation for them to tell you it's dumb or wrong for you to like what you like. That goes double when you have kids and you play with them.
I play games, I draw, and I play D&D. Hell, I just bought a Steamdeck and am goingto build an arcade cabinet with my stepson. My wife does none of that, and it's super important to me that I not be shamed about my hobbies. I would never shame her about hers.
There is no age cutoff. The idea that fun things are childish is a stupid concept pushed by boring people on the rest of us because they don't know how to have fun anymore.
Anyone dating at 47 (assuming they are near your age) should be taking what they deal with. If gaming is a show stopper for them, I'm not sure I'd worry about them saying how shallow they are. Easy for me to say as I'm married, but I'm going to be 50 sooner then I'd like and while I don't game as much as I used to and I know things like WoW which entail a time commitment are not games I can play, but I still game some nights. Sometimes lots of nights.
As a few others have mentioned its mainly a generational thing. Video games are still "recent" and you are/were at the point that it was just starting to catch.
Keep looking and hopefully you will get someone of the same mind set you are
I am a paramedic and used to do some part-time work in nursing homes.
In other words: I see a lot of old folks.
There is no age cut-off and anyone telling you there is one is simply gatekeeping/steering up drama.
I have seen an old WW2 fighter pilot who had a kick ass Sim Suite with multiple screen,etc. in his room (was in the early 2000 so still old heavy screens). Every evening an aide rolled him "in" his setup with his wheelchair and he "flew" for hours, either MSFS or various fighter games. (I feel really sorry for him that he died before the wave of really good milsim games came out).
I saw countless people with NES, SNES, PS1,PS2 etc.- just because their body was failing them their mind wasn't. While motor control is an issue we nowadays have much better alternatives for these cases.
And we have overwhelming scientific evidence that gaming does keep your finemotric up to date and decreases some challenges of aging. And online gaming has been proven to reduce loneliness in older people - which is a problem especially older men face.
I know,you are not nearly that old as the people in my examples. But they played since the 80ies.
I work in the games industry. So it would be pretty surprising if there were a "social cutoff" in my circle.
I've met people who think playing games is weird for an adult, but then they don't question watching TV or YouTube videos for hours. People who judge you based on where you find your entertainment tend not to be fun to be around.
Considering the popularity of Gaming Grandma, I think it's just the stereotypes. Until recently, even social media was a nerd thing that brought out thoughts of smelly social rejects not respecting social spaces.
The internet is only just now not for social rejects, gaming being labeled for kids and something you outgrow seems to be an individual choice brought on ( often as I see) to peer pressure to stop in the first place.
I'd say there's not a cut off, people just have some really shit opinions about things they should just stfu about. I grew up in the South and I abandoned trying to follow the minds of judgemental folks a long time ago. Half the time they're just jealous you live your life and they haven't managed to keep their personality after getting married and having kids. 😂
I'm 41 and not only do I play games everyday I also develop them. My girlfriend enjoys the fact that I play games. When we aren't together a lot of the time I will stream them and most of the time she's my only viewer lol
She is very supportive and encouraged me to do things that are fun.
Honestly, if the women you are meeting aren't supportive of your hobbies and what you enjoy doing to relax, then trust me when I say you don't want anything to do with them. These women are telling you who they are, believe them and steer clear.
Posts like this remind me of the Twilight Zone episode Time Enough At Last, in which a man who loves to read gets knocked out and wakes up after the world has been devastated by hydrogen bombs. The entire episode leading up to this had most of the characters chastising the protagonist for being a "reader," who spends all of his time reading "doggerel" such as, wait for it, David Copperfield. Perhaps this was a genuine attitude held, if perhaps not as extremely, by people in the early or middle parts of the 20th century before television was truly ubiquitous, who looked at reading as frivolous or immature entertainment. But my point is that you're facing a cultural attitude that will probably shift more and more in favor of inclusiveness as time goes on. Almost all women in their 30s that I know either play video games themselves or just uncritically accept that other people play video games for fun. I can see why women in their 40s might be less amenable to it. I don't have anything to add other than that you're both ahead of the curve and a victim of the times.
I’m 62 year old woman I started playing at 38, in 1999. I play a lot and I have no intention on stopping. I have never met a potential partner that saw it as a negative, but I would never impose it on them or not be available for activities because I would prefer gaming.
I'm over 40 and still game with my husband and kids. It's a normal part of our lives, and it's fairly limited when our kids (all 10 and under) are awake.
However, I have seen many, many posts over the years in various mom spaces about husbands and fathers putting gaming before their families. Coming home from work and going straight to the console 5 days a week. Using their paid time off to no life AAA releases while their wives had to use theirs on sick kids. Spending "his" money upgrading the gaming rig while putting the stay at home spouse or lower earner on a such a strict budget she couldn't afford clothes or haircuts. Exploding at their kids for being interrupted during online game sessions in the middle of the afternoon. These are extreme examples, but I've seen them all more than once. If that's the lived experience of the women you are meeting, I can see why you'd get an unenthusiastic response to the hobby.
Who’s making the micro-transaction gig profitable? 9 year olds? I’m willing to bet Epic games has netted about 1k from me since it’s initial release. I figure if I go out with friends I’m dropping 100.00 easily. If I stay in one night and spend 60.00 on vbucks I’m still saving 40 and I’m certainly not less entertained.
I’m 53, I’ll be playing games until the arthritis is too bad or I go blind.
I’m a similar age and also a gamer. For me it feels generational more than age. Gen X always seemed to see video games as a kids activity, even when they were in their 20s. While millennials see it as just another pastime, like tv and movies.
Folks born in the 70s may have more feelings about video games being kid stoys than younger ones, but they probably also have really backwards ideas about, I don't know, fun in general? And that's probably signalling that there's some kind of fundamental personality mismatch or some unwelcomed views on masculinity and gender dynamics.
It might be a little harder to meet people, but it's worth sorting through the mismatches in order to find a compatible partner, even if it gets discouraging sometimes.
For what it's worth, I'm 40, and I not only still play video games, I still play the video games I loved when I was 5, and watch the cartoons that I loved when I was 10. My wife's not big into video games, but she definitely doesn't judge people for their preferred forms of entertainment.
My 80yo grandfather still pulls out the gamecube to play Mario Kart (and for a long time noone else could beat him). My grandmother before she passed was not really big on video games but would play one specific level of crash bandicoot over and over again.
My 45~yo mother streams minecraft in her free time and is even looking to start up a YouTube channel with more content. Some of her viewers are close to her age and when she was playing more Counter Strike than Minecraft the server she played on had adults of all ages on it.
I'm getting closer to 30 every year and I can't see myself ever quitting games. If/when I marry I imagine playing games will just be part of family bonding. I may get worse as I age like my grandfather but I doubt I'll ever stop.
Interesting question! For me it feels like both a social group and age-based thing. I know of a couple co-workers in their upper 30s / mid 40s who play video games and we’ll chat about games very occasionally. My ex’s friends were all mid-twenties folks and gaming was one of their multiple hobbies.
But in general, I wouldn’t bring video games up with the majority of my other co-workers, and certainly not during small talk with more-or-less strangers (chiropractor, barbers, etc), whereas every other hobby I’d be cool talking to strangers about. I think I’ve been socialized to feel like gaming is “immature” and only to be talked about with other people “in the know” so I don’t feel judged for enjoying it.
I don't think there is a cutoff age, but I have noticed that non-gamers see gaming more like watching TV, i. e. a passive, somewhat trivial form of entertainment. The reason is because people tend to first think of Tetris and not Disco Elysium or Persona, or VR games. They just don't know that it is an intellectually actibe and stimulating hobby. But I cannot fault them for that. Imagine telling someone your hobby is watching TV. I did tell my SO that I like gaming, but I also like other things that they enjoy too. If she ever asks me about it though, I am happy to talk about it or show something to her.
PC gaming took off in the 90s. I'm not clear on the history of consoles but I'm wondering if they became widespread in the 80s? Having these devices at home probably created a larger generation of gamers.
Gaming was "for boys" until very recently, and tbh the inclusion of women as the default audience for games is still a work in progress. Game protagonists are usually male, romance options usually assume the player is a straight man, even the quests and the way NPCs are written are colored by these assumptions.
Video games have gotten so much more complex in a very short amount of time. The storylines are richer, the writing and visual effects have gotten signifixlcantly better. Someone who has only experienced early arcade games or clicker mobile games wouldn't see gaming in general as a worthy hobby for adults.
Hmm I don't think there is a cutoff necessarily but it doesn't surprise me many people currently in their late 40s wouldn't be much into them. I'm a 37/F myself and most of my friends play video games, but then again I'm part of a crowd of childless nerdy types. I guess it all just depends on the type of person you're hanging out with and what their lifestyle is all about. Women who play video games and are currently in their late 40s probably live a more alternative lifestyle in general.
Depending on the person, it's not acceptable at any age. However, why would you want to be with someone so judgmental? It's easy to be accepting of hobbies other than your own if you're a decent person. After all, it's not like you would have all of your hobbies in common with your significant other, right?
I'm almost 40 and still game regularly, although not as much as I would like. I treat it like anything else and honestly couldn't care less what anyone else thinks about it. If you enjoy gaming then don't let anyone stop you.
I'm a 47 year old guy and I'm not ashamed to say that I enjoy video games. I always have, from playing Head over Heels on a Speccy +2 to ESO and Valorant on my self built PC.
I'm 51. I have house, wife, two kids and I run my own company. I could never, ever think about stop gaming. I've been doing this since the 80s. It's my hobby and my way to socialize and wind-down. It is my go-to when I need to get my mind off things. I'd be a literal wreck without it. I'm not ashamed of it and I will talk about it with anyone curious. Just like they might talk about sailing boats or golf trips. No difference.
Due to various life circumstances, I'm also on the dating scene and to most women I meet, around my age, video games are anathema. When I say that I like them it's usually meet with an "oh dear" or a "my son would probably love to talk to you about them, I find them really boring"
That is a really shitty and demeaning way to speak to someone. What the actual fuck? Very rude.
Have you ever tried to tell them that insulting someones hobbies isn't the best way to go about meeting people?
I think what you are experiencing is a generational cut off, from people born before certain time where video games hasn't permeated into pop culture long enough.
Early forties here. Also grew up with the Spectrum. In my admittedly slightly nerdy friend circle it's completely normal. People always talking about interesting games in just the same way as they would movies. People playing games with their kids. Lots of talk about Tears of the Kingdom at our last gathering. I assume for younger people it's even more normal.
All this is to say, I don't think there's a static absolute age cut-off. I think we're probably the first generation that will see a substantial portion continue to identify as small-g 'gamers' well into retirement. If they're is a (moving, getting older) age cut-off, at 47 now, maybe you're just on the upper side of the tipping point?
If anything, playing games keeps your mind into complex entertainment which should keep the brain young. Sure beats just mindlessly watching TV all day though just make sure you still touch grass every once in awhile.
I think the older someone is the cooler they seem to me if I find out they game. It's why I like watching https://www.youtube.com/@Food4Dogs because its lot more interesting to get insight about gaming from people who are so much more knowledgeable and were around to actually experience lot of the progress and changes of technology over the years. And being open to new hobbies despite what their age group might say is something I respect.
There shouldn't be a cutoff, of course. As the current demographic gets older, I bet the stigma will keep dying down. Sorry to hear about your difficulties, though.
I'm 33/m and also dating. From my experience, women my age vary around attitudes to video games but generally appreciate that it's a valid form of entertainment alongside movies and TV. I don't think it's an age thing as much as a generation thing - nowadays they're part of popular culture whether you're into them or not, so most people up to mid-30s grew up around them.
I don't think there "must" be an age cutoff where people are supposed to stop playing - instead, there's an age cutoff for where people didn't grow up with or have access to computers or gaming.
I was born right on the cusp of video games moving from niche nerd shit and becoming relatively mainstream. I can see that there's a clear gap between friends who game and friends who don't that nearly directly ties to whether or not they played games as a kid. A lot of the time for my generation, that's a socioeconomic division more than anything else. Computers were expensive as a kid, so most of my friends who grew up poor found other interests in childhood and grew up to be adults who don't really play games. The kids I grew up around whose families were more well-off have continued gaming as adults. Maybe less, maybe different games; but in many ways it's like asking what age someone is supposed to outgrow "having hobbies".
The older someone is today the less likely it is they had access to games and gaming, and often the more intimidating they find learning about computers and gaming - and the more time they've had to find some other hobby that they find compelling.
There definitely is a thing in the dating market where some people can be particularly judgmental about gaming. Personally, I've found that is loudest and largest for some of the more ... "serial" daters I know, who have found themselves in relationships with lots of different people and have found that gaming, or identifying as a "gamer" tends to correlate with other bigger issues. There's also the side concern when something that's big in your life isn't something they can relate to - a little like the ultra-fan Sports Dudes where all of every game day will always be booked off for watching the games with the boys.
I think in regards to the dating market, it's less that anyone needs to "grow out of" gaming, and more that adults are more expected to have a mature relationship with their hobbies, gaming included. And given that there are negative connotations about degenerate adult gamers not really grown up, that may be something to keep in mind regarding how you present that hobby and how you talk about your relationship with it.
I'm 50. I just don't talk about it unless I secretly find out that my friends game. Acually a lot of them do. But, yeah, I don't talk to girls about it. Though sometimes you might find one that's into it.
I'm mid thirties myself and games are what I grew up with and it's how I like to enjoy my storytelling. I think it's entirely lost on some people how different games are as a media. My SO and I have had chats about it and she understands that it's a whole different experience than a movie or tv and appreciates my enthusiasm for truly great games.
I can totally understand that some people just don't jive with games but I'm so grateful my SO tolerates my gaming even though she doesn't partake much herself.
I feel no pressure to stop so I don't see myself stopping gaming anytime soon. You just need to find the right one, they don't even need to like games, they just need to like you as a person.
Just be open about how much you enjoy games. You wouldnt want to get into a relationship with someone who dislikes your interests anyway, right? Think of it as a way to filter out people who arent compatible.
From my parents, my wife, and her parents I definitely got a, "Oh you still play games, like you're a kid. That's cute." vibe. But they we're pretty accepting once they realized it wasn't some hold over phase from being a teenager and a legitimate hobby with a community that increases technical knowledge, too.
That being said I still feel like a kid in one respect. You know that meme, where you're playing an online game and your mom comes in and says "Pause it and come to dinner." I get similar comments from my wife. And she'll get annoyed sometimes. Like, "I needed you help on something but I guess your game is more important." But I just sunk 45 mins of effort into a match of CS:GO, my rank is on the line which I've spent a lot more time on, it's actually pretty rude to ask me to drop that because you want the trash out. Not to mention I'm tanking my teammates ranks. Like if my hobby was soccer, you wouldn't walk out onto the pitch during a game holding everyone up and expect me to have a conversation about repainting the bathroom. But because they can't see the game, they don't get it.
So in that respect it can be difficult as an adult. You do have more responsibilities and relationships you need to maintain. So you need to be clear about setting aside time for your hobby. Communicate well with those in your life about it and what you need from them.
Yeah i'm in my 30s and still enjoy playing games, nice way to relax at the end of the day.
Related question though: any good Minecraft channels on youtube that aren't made for children? I'm just starting to get in to minecraft now and it's been super fun, but the youtube playthroughs I've been looking at have all been...seeming to not be catering to an audience my age, to put it politely.
In reality there is no age. It is a hobby as any other and don't let people judge you for enjoying it. They can not partake in the hobby all they want but they don't get to judge you for doing so.
My dad told me repeatedly while I was growing up that I would "outgrow" video games. There were several times where I thought that this had come to pass. But time and time again I have found myself going back to video games. I'm now turning 29 and I still love playing video games.
IMO, physical ability to do so should be the only cutoff. No one should have to stop doing something they love just because society deems them too old.
There’s no age cutoff for enjoying games, but there’s definitely one for bringing it up, especially on a date. If I had to guess, that cutoff is your early twenties, at most.
The stereotype is that gamers are immature misogynists who never go outside, and live on Doritos and Mountain Dew. Some gamers live up to this stereotype, so it’s not completely unreasonable.
The best way to counter this perception is to let her get to know you before mentioning gaming. Once she knows you’re not gross, and DO have other interests, gaming is seen as a hobby (as it should be) and not a red flag.
I’m 34 and can’t say I’ve ever had this problem. All the people I’ve gone out with just see it as a hobby I have and nothing else. I think the may problem is when people assume you don’t have any other hobbies or don’t do anything else because you like video games. I find that as I get older I’m gravitating towards vastly different hobbies so when the topic of video games comes up their reaction is usually what you describe: “Ah my kids love them!” then we move on to the next topic. That has never been a deal breaker though, which I assume is what you’re somewhat implying in your post.
Don't know what to say that hasn't already been covered in five pages of comments, but don't date people who denigrate your hobbies. There's no "age cutoff" for enjoying the things you enjoy. You don't just stop enjoying things after a certain arbitrary age threshold.
The old view of adulthood as being a time of constant misery, struggle, and hardship, in which every moment of enjoyment you manage to claw from it is a moment stolen from the future, which will be replaced by further misery, is fucking stupid. Do what makes you happy, and ditch the Karens.
So our discord regularly has friends and family in the age range from 17-59 currently who all game and socialise together. I don't think there is a limit.
there is no shame in liking games, but it's a pretty big turn-off for many people because of negative stereotypes (especially in your age range). do yourself a favor and find another hobby to talk to people about (music, films, exercise), and then once you're close with them and they won't immediately discard you based on those stereotypes, you can start to share that part of yourself
OR you can keep being totally upfront about gaming being your #1 hobby and hope that you'll meet your soulmate who happens to share the exact same passion. either way, good luck :)
I'm about your age (48) and game. I don't think there's a cut-off date as such, but it's a little bit of several things.
There is certainly a generational angle. When we were growing up in the 80s and early 90s, playing computer games was definitely not an activity targeted at adults, and gamers were generally seen as geeks and nerds. This changed of course, but other people who grew up at the same time as us but never got into games may still hang onto that image.
Gender also plays a role, women our age are a lot less likely to have ever been into games. My girlfriend for example has no problems with it but she never gamed herself and doesn't really understand it. If I think of female friends and acquaintances, I know only one woman who games as well, but she's already 8 years younger.
There's also the fact that many men do in fact grow out of gaming as they get older, start to have more responsibilities and less free time and when other interests and hobbies start to compete for that limited free time. I notice that in myself too, it's a lot less important to me now than it was 25 years ago.
Then there's the slightly uncomfortable fact that many women simply find it unattractive when a man lists gaming as a hobby, and see it as a red flag, perhaps because they associate it with certain stereotypes of people who are obsessive about it and whose whole personality revolves around gaming, perhaps because they have previous bad experiences with it, or perhaps because it's something they simply can't relate with. Maybe gamers are to women what "horse girls" are to men? :)
I think the best way to handle it on the dating scene is to show that you're a functioning adult with a well rounded personality and a variety of interests, who just happens to game as well. At the end of the day, you have to have enough common ground to start a relationship with someone.
Back in the ancient Greek era there were people worried that printed books were going to rot peoples' minds because they would just be absorbed in them 24/7.
It sounds like your dating the wrong women. Why do you need to add someone that’s going to make judgements of you based on a hobby? Date people that improve your life; not make you question it.
It's a relatively new form of entertainment. Books, theater, movies and TV all have had more time to develop and become culturally relevant. Video games are young and have had a steep growth curve in terms of innovation, scope, and market share. I feel it will become more and more common for older folks to play games and it will become more and more acceptable and normal. I feel that mobile gaming is legit also and people might not realize that their Candy Crush or Solitaire games are video games! It's a wide and versatile type of entertainment so the people who consume it will be as well.
41 year old woman here. I was born with gaming, I will die with gaming. Do not hide your gaming from the get go. Put it in your profile. Its a huge part of my life, so finding that in a partner is a must in my book. There are women out there that share my sentiment, and some that just like games or don't care.
Born before 86 and it's one of my main hobbies. A large percentage of my friends are gamers of various kinds. I don't think there's a cut off, just people that get too caught up in defining what adulthood is and not letting fun and individuality be part of it.
I'm 50. I've been gaming since my Dad won a Pong console at a work thing. I still love gaming, and so do a lot of other older men. Hell, the discussion at the lunch table at work today was about all the shit people are doing in Zelda. This was a group of 4 guys, all well over 30 (except one guy who just turned 30), all very successful..
I'm not sure. I'm in my 30s and me and almost all my coworkers play something on a regular basis: PS5/XBox/PC/Switch/mobile. Even my like 60 year supervisor is a lady addicted to mobile games.
Never too old and if anyone says it is just ignore them, not their life to dictate. I will never understand why anyone would give up what they find fun because someone else finds it silly or 'not socially acceptable'. Its just them trying to press their own opinions of whats acceptable like its a fact.
I'll never stop gaming, if someone didn't like that to the point they judge me or try and tell me to stop its not a person I'd care to be friends with or talk to anyways. I'm not that old but when I was younger I got berated all the time for gaming, very glad I ignored all that nonsense and kept doing what I enjoyed. I've got a good career path out of it and friends I met online through gaming who now live close by.
My wife and I met 8 years ago playing Dota 2. Now our friend group is all late 20s early 30s, and we mostly play pve games like Darktide a couple times a week, but when we can we also meet up for tabletops. We will definitely continue playing games since we enjoy them. My in-laws just retired and they have gotten really into pokemon go. My mom never really 'got' any game but now she's really into Lego and jigsaw puzzles. One of my friend's parents are also really into tabletops and will sometimes join us. It's super cool that you and your kids have a hobby that you share and bond over, and I hope to have that with my own child someday!
I'm in my fourties. I've fought clanwars in MoHAA with my now wife. We've spent an embarrasing amount of time raiding in WoW and by now we've had servers running for Ark, Valheim and Vrising with our daughter. She's more into Roblox though..
I’m 40, but I play online with quite a few people who are my age or older. On the dating scene, I wouldn’t know because I’ve been married 19 years, but I’d guess that there is some reluctance from women (especially those who don’t also play) to have a partner who would fit the stereotypical “gamer ignoring his girlfriend” or dude who’s a misogynistic dick online who uses games as a way to flex his imaginary hyper masculinity.
My move has always been, and will always be, to prioritize people in the room, especially her, when I’m in the headset. If that means we lose, we lose. It’s just a game (though I love them and often get totally immersed). Most of my longtime gaming friends with families (I have two kids as well) completely understand, and I do the same when they have IRL interruptions.
As for if there’s a cutoff? HELL NO.
As for if there’s a generational gap? Hell yes…but I’d say you’re just at the bleeding edge. Keep doing you and looking for like minded people and you’ll just be the oldest of the “Old Man League Bball team, Videogames Edition”. My crew loves our version of that guy… and so does his long time partner. 🙂
I don't think there's one. Still, I find it a bit funny thinking of myself and my partner sitting next to each other, each on our own gaming PC, once we're old (or should I say older, yikes the 90s really were almost 30 years ago...)
Not anywhere near your age, but I believe that you honestly don't need to pay attention to any kind of "cutoff" age for video games. At your age, people don't really get to dictate how interesting your hobbies are to you, you're an adult with children, and your interests are your own. If playing games is a dealbreaker for women, then it's really just the tip of the iceberg of problems a relationship with her might have. There is no cutoff for liking the things you like, and if people aren't adult enough to see that, you can move on from them.
It's becoming more accepted. I have a few friends in their 40s who are the biggest gamers I know. You may be on the edge of what might be seen as an "acceptable " age, but it is very common for adults. I can see how dating might bring out the judgement in some people, but you shouldn't have to repress that part of yourself, especially since you do it with your kids. As it becomes more and more common many people won't stop doing something they loved doing their whole lives.
The hell? There's no age-gate for anything. Except maturity. If you think someone enjoying something is childish, instead of feeling happy for them, then you're the one who has growing up to do.
Books are also a great hobby, which many find boring, but it's never considered an age thing just because the typical adult isn't into reading books. The same goes for games. Not everyone enjoys them, but that's a matter of personal taste, not age. Sure, our tastes can change during our lives, and some people "grow-out" of their childhood interests. But that might be more correlation than causation.
Take my dad, for instance, I remember him gaming on his PC and PS1 during my pre-teens, but he stopped gaming for many years. But recently, he got BACK into gaming, and asked me to build him a modern PC to play on, since it's been so long since he's used non-apple computers. These days, when he finds the right type of game for himself, he is more difficult to get away from it then I am.
Games are a new medium, and new things get adopted first by new generations. So maybe older ones consider them a "kids" thing, but at 26, I see no reason why video games would ever stop being a part of my life.
I’m closer to 40 than 30, and I play video games basically every day. My spouse is super supportive. The only thing that’s changed is that I don’t play PC games unless it’s on my steam deck, because I already spend too much time at a desk working. But I have a PS5 that I finally bought a racing wheel for, and Ive been logging tons of hours on TOTK.
Basically, find someone who appreciates you and your hobbies. Being a gamer isn’t a bad one, despite what those of us that grew up adjacent to Gen X might think.
I think there are some people who get out of touch due to things like kids or work and it was just seen as something you grow out of. But I think people generally have more of a work/life balance now. And they also realize that you can play games with kids when they are old enough.
I know for me personally, what will most likely happen is that I will always love and cherish video games as an artform no matter what. What will change is the amount of time I have to play.
As long as you are still enjoying gaming. Keep going!
Games should always be socially acceptable, and my recommendation is for you to look for women who, even if they don't play, would be willing to try something. Start with something that's easy to learn and that you can play together, like Bomberman (the old SNES ones are still great). Coop will always work better at first, it makes a clear message that you're not there "to win", you're there "to teach"
I strongly suspect most women don't play because they see games as something "for boys". Not many ever had the opportunity to play anything when they were younger and most dismiss the games they actually play, like Candy Crush or whatever, as "not really games".
My ex never bothered with games, despite playing some flash stuff back in the late 2000's. To her surprise, she actually enjoyed playing Tekken 6, Torchlight 2 and Kirby Star Allies, all of which I gave her a chance to play. I also presented many other games, but she didn't show any interest, so I didn't push them. Even my mom, who always despised me and my games, plays one of those Hidden Objects games every day (used to only play Solitaire and Freecell).
My nephews don't have a videogame or PC for themselves, but on 2 occasions that I set up something for them to play, they had a blast, once beating each other on Street Fighter 2, the other getting lost and yelling at each other in Super Mario 3D World.
There's absolutely no age cut off for video games. I would even go further and say that more seniors should play video games.
But, I also wouldn't be too judgy with people who think video games are for kids. This is all thanks to decades of marketing. Atari, the first popular video game console, was sold along side TVs and other electronics and was targeted towards everyone. But then Nintendo decided to market their console as a toy, instead of a consumer electronics product. Also, they had to pick a "boy" vs "girl" aisle, and they picked "boy", which is why video games aren't seen as girly.
While I do think there's probably more younger people across the spectrum playing games than older folk, I still think you can find the person you're looking for. It's definitely become more socially acceptable I think for younger generations it's just become a more normal thing integrated into social life. Oh we can't go out? I'm down for some Minecraft or Animal Crossing, etc. I've known lots of women over the years that were "cool" and "attractive" but were heavy into video games. Older folk in general skew towards thinking they are damaging or juvenile. We had recently pitched a club at my library district, but once it reached the older board people, they didn't understand why one would even pose the idea in such an "institution," totally missing why gaming can be an incredibly nourishing hobby for everyone in some form. But yeah, even at my job I tend to find most older women roll their eyes at the thought of video games (I work with mostly middle aged women 40-60 with a few younger aged folk sprinkled in there). Games as a hobby has become more progressive aiming for all sorts of people, Fortnite, Roblox, Minecraft, etc. have all broken down a lot of walls for younger generations. Obviously misogyny is gonna still exist thanks to how early gaming marketing skewed perspective of video games as well as shooters and their tone being heavily ostracizing to women. Games like Fortnite let you gun down Goku as Ariana Grande, and shit like that does go a long ways to reaching different people.
Also things like the Last of Us have done lots to away perception away from games being overtly masculine and edgy, to telling serious stories with mature/complex themes. The fact that show got a HBO series that reached many "non gamers" is huge. Whether or not you think it's good for the overall health of what games are is a different topic, but I think there is such massive spectrum now from mobile, to indie, to AAA, to community run live service games, etc. that nowadays there's an ocean of people who don't have a weird perception of gaming like the 90's and early 2000s and that will continue to change and get better as generations progress.-
Even if there was a cutoff age, it would be changing every year as millennials age up and the gaming industry does a better job at targeting older players.
The discussions about gaming (you're too old / it's for kids etc.) really shit me. If you want to talk about volume of screentime, that's perfectly reasonable. But if I chose to game instead of watch a movie / sports game / be on my phone, then that's my choice.
I think it's a position that often comes from ignorance. Usually these people have no concept that games can involve high quality character and plot writing like Mass Effect, or teamwork focused gaming situations like MMO raids. They either never had any exposure to games or decided early on (usually in adolescence) that games weren't for them.
Ironically there's often a lot of overlap between game haters and people who spend more hours in front of the TV than most of us do gaming.
That's an actually very interesting question, I've never thought of that.
I'm a gay guy and I'll be 33 next week and most of the time I'm talking to a new guy and I say I love games either they like games too or they just don't have something to comment about it... It's just something. But to be fair, I don't meet new people frequently so my experience is kinda limited and I don't know other guys that are older than me.
And I don't think I would really care if someone doesn't like that I'm old and still gaming. People read, watch movies, play cards for ages, gaming is a hobby as much as any other.
A person that thinks being old and gaming isn't fine is just a person I wouldn't connect to...
what i see today is games are super accessible and everyone owns a portable gaming device, my parents are over 60 and they both play games on their phones, although they would't consider themselves gamers or anything close
i think the barrier to entry on core games gets higher with age so casual games on phones fit nicely within that demographic
I am almost 40 also, and game alot. One thing to remember that our generation is the first to actually game their whole life, nes etc made gaming popular.
Older generations haven't had mainstream gaming, so it is wierd to think people born in 50-60 to game, because games didn't exist when they were young. We on the other hand have grown with the games.
So I think from ten year on, it will be normal to have LAN parties in your elderly home.
Anyone who thinks differently is not for you. People can do almost whatever they want for fun, as long as it's legal. Labeling someone childish because they like something is stupid; what am I going to do, drink all day, go to bars, hike, travel, play sports, do n'th paid activity, etc? Some people have the time, money or health that allows or disallows them to do these things, and some people do or don't have the interest. Tons of people enjoy watching tv shows. Are we supposed to grow out of that too? By that logic, we shouldn't enjoy anything we did as kids and just do things only relegated to adults.
Id say most people regardless of when they were born think like this unless they themselves play games. It's more socially acceptable amongst the younger generation right now (e.g. college graduates) and probably because they're still considered young. Kids have more free time than adults and the barrier to entry for them is low. Parents often see their kids playing games and in genral have a negative attitude towards them for consuming time. Id say as people go into their 30s and 40s its considered less acceptable because societal expectations are that people will work and get married and have kids by then, and they'd have less time for solo activities. Going to the bar while having young kids or other activities is less acceptable. As kids get older their parents have more time for fun, but playing games is seen as childish because they either see their kids playing or because its something from their own childhood and other ventures that cost money like travel are now available to them when they werent as kids
53 here, not playing online multiplayer anymore (frustrated with being unable to compete at the same level due to work stress, and time commitments in general), but I do have 4 digit hours of Civilization. Thinking back, almost 20 years ago I got anti-gaming vibes from my peer group. Fuck 'em, do what you want.
is it something to do with the progression of games into popular culture and people born after, say, 1986 will not see it as unacceptable?
I think that's exactly it. Gen X was the first generation to experienced playing video games for their entire lives. Video games, as with all new things, tended to be poo-poo'ed by the older generation and as such, many Gen Xers elected not to get in to video gaming.
I think if you were of any younger generation, you would find responses on dates to be quite different.
My dad is 59 and besides being the one that got me gaming in the first place, he still plays to this day.
He is naturally not really into very competitive skill based games (esports) but MMOs or ARPGs and the like he loves those.
I built my first computer with him when I was 5. And today I'm working in an IT field, largely because of him.
He first got me started with Diablo. I've played DII with him, DIII too. DIV he said it's very expensive for now and he'll wait for a discount or something, but I did buy it. He also plays a lot of Guild Wars 2, WoW and some titan quest among other rpgs.
He also plays on his phone Diablo Immortal and some other crappy time wasting games 🤷♂️
In my 50s, I still play video games, but interests have changed. I used to love MMOs (WoW, Eve Online), but just don't like the grind anymore. I've switched to playing card games, specifically rogue type dungeon crawlers; Slay The Spire, Obelisk. This scratches my gaming itch and doesn't have any commitment level. Find a partner that games, they are out there.
Oh dude, what you need to do is start collecting video games.
As I grew up i found myself still playing. Not wanting to stop. Looking at it from a far more mature perspective than i ever had before and thought "Fuck it, horde video games" and these days it is on the same level as those who collect comic books. Can be seen as an albeit childish hobby, but is recognized as also an investment. I mean, my collection of video games is insured for more than new sedan.
Much like dad who collected hot wheels, mom has hutch of ultra expensive china, you have your games and can explain and tell stories in much greater and entertaining details than any tin car. I mean, explain Last of us, or Hentai vs. Evil, it's gonna be a better story than "It's a tbird"
41 year old woman who games Playstation and PC. There is no age cutoff.
That said, it wasn't all that common to have a game system when I grew up. My grandmother had an Atari because of her Alzheimers and that's what made my family nerds but people from Gen X are a lot less likely to have gotten the habit young.
Maybe a younger woman will be more likelyto be into it. But you both don't have to like all the same things. Ask the women you date about their hobbies instead of talking about yours, maybe? There must be some common ground interests, or at least something on their side that could be considered a bit offbeat, geeky, or childish and you can bond over being on the receiving end of judgment. Maybe she's into Renfaire or Star Trek.
I did work for a company who ran various care homes across the country. Some for people with ill health, some just for old age. The changes care homes were having to adapt to was interesting. Not only more openly gay relationships, various different religions, etc... But also a vastly different array of hobbies, and that for some included gaming. This meant care homes having to upgrade internet/wifi, and many other adaptions. Some used handheld games machines, or mobile phones. A couple had PCs. I don't recall seeing any Mac's. A few had games machines. One elderly lady adored her original Gameboy. So it does take all sorts.
Now I'm the same age as you, so I can recall growing up and 99% of girls at school just switched off at talk of the latest game for the Spectrum 48k. We would get called geek, and other names. To a point, the stereotype will stick with some people as they grow up. But I find many, regardless of gender, do or will play games. Even if it's some form of Snake of their phone. Or maybe board games. It's all about having fun, pure and simple. Maybe they have fun in other ways. Maybe you're not compatible? I have always had the rules that a future partner would need to enjoy games at some level, mobile phone, board games, card games, etc... Have to own books and read. Have a love of music. Beyond that, it's negotiable.
I don't think there's an age cut off, I just think you got into the hobby when it was niche and your peers didn't. I'm an NES-generation video game player and I don't really know anyone my age who doesn't at least have a gamer in their household. On the other end, I don't know a single person who has a cable subscription.
Stealing my old comment from the place that shall not be named in response to a similar question asked there by someone in a comparable situation to share here due to relevancy - A person had replied to the OP question declaring that "women didn't respect men's hobbies" so I said :
Perhaps there is a more useful way to frame things…
How about instead :
“It’s somewhat common for people with some level of disfunction within their intimate relationships to be okay living their entire lives with a partner essentially dictating what is ‘acceptable’ in their lives together in such a way that is uncompromising for said other partner - who then feels like they are not deserving of the things that make them happy. This is unhealthy as it builds resentment and encourages dishonesty and ‘going around’ set boundaries only really agreed upon by one party.”
The takeaway should not be : “Women have no respect for men’s hobbies.”
There are plenty of women who love games, and plenty of men who don’t.
The takeaway should be : “Partners in an intimate relationship should have enough love and respect for one another that they can truly find middle ground with issues they disagree on - while at the same time trying to better empathize, communicate, and enrich each others’ lives. If you and your partner disagree on where gaming should be as an aspect of your personal hobbies and interests, a reasonable compromise should be discussed.”
I am a guy at the same age. My spouse doesn’t really game much… but we have our video games in the living room, as that allows me to enjoy our home theater setup for single player type and online multiplayer gaming between my fellow parent gamers and myself, while also allowing us as a family to play certain games like Mario Kart and Castle Crashers together across seating that is comfortable and roomy.
My partner loves me and wants me to be happy. And I want them to be happy. If you aren’t happy with the arrangement currently set… talk about it. If they can’t meet you in the middle… then decide if it’s worth it to continue discussing it or not and go forward.
Really that’s a foundational aspect of healthy relationships… communication, respect, and a hope that you help make the other happy and feel supported.
A relationship without that foundation will likely eventually fail.