Why is it so quiet? Oh no.

Been there. Luckily my kid just painted her upper legs nearly black by overlaying tons of markers. Yes, she had enough time for that, you see we were under influence of severe sleep deprivation...

you see we were under influence of severe sleep deprivation...

As is tradition.

Look Mommy, I'm a kitty! I have whiskers! 🕸️☺️

That's basically the best possible outcome.

Toddlers are the reason why, despite being able to afford nice furniture for the first time in our life, we're sticking with ratty couches and old Ikea coffee tables.
- My parents didn't buy good furniture until after I left home. They always said they would when the kids were gone but I moved out and my first visit they had new furniture, so I'm pretty sure it was me they were waiting for to leave.
  
  Unrelated, I spilt coke on the new furniture on that first visit.
- "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing." Phyllis Diller
I have a kid who (on a regular basis) took felt tip pens and just started colouring at the toes, up the legs, arms, all the way to the head sometimes. Changing colours as they felt like it.

They did this well past the toddler years.

Pro tip: washable markers are a lot more washable if you wash it off straight away instead of waiting all day.
- Goddammit, now I want to get out my box of washable markers and color myself from toes to nose! I'm going to be a grownup and remind myself it would use up all the markers.

Thankfully, Sharpie marks (even the "industrial" ones) are pretty easy to remove with rubbing alcohol

Tracing over sharpie marks with dry erase markers makes it way easier to clean depending on the surface. I've only tried it on non-porous surfaces though.
- Acetone in the dry erase is doing the heavy lifting in this scenario.
From experience, that works even on soft furnishings
Acetone is the solvent in the sharpie pen.
I was doing a remodel and exposed a wall covered in Sharpie graffiti from previous clientele. Painter looked dismayed. I sent for a case of rubbing alcohol and got rid of it.

That's what you get for procreating.

Fun fact, this is reason 69420 that I don't have a toddler

Damn! You kill a LOT of toddlers!

Shit like that gets put up high. Like on top of tall cabinets.

Small children are surprisingly adept climbers, and ingenius problem solvers when the problem is one you don't want them solving.

Locks with the key somewhere they definitely cannot get it work, right up until you forget to lock the cabinet one time. Then you hope that curiosity doesn't overcome the bounraries you've laid down.

Honestly thought it was a bullet vibe and then I read the community this was posted in. And then looked again. Marker cap. Ohh. That also makes sense. Hard to put it in context when one doesn't have children haha.