Have your parents ever said something so unhinged that you’re just left standing there like🧍♂️?
Have your parents ever said something so unhinged that you’re just left standing there like🧍♂️?
Mine hit me with the “We're spending all this money on you now so you can’t grow up and say we didn’t spend money on you when your were a kid.”
The monster that raised me was a real piece of work.
Context: she adopted me and 3 others. The other 3 were adopted when she was a single parent.
- “I didn’t want you. <ex husband> did.”
- “Stick to your own kind.” (In front of my mixed-ethnicity siblings, when I introduced a girl I was seeing to her)
- ”Ain’t no son of mine is going to be a <slur>” (all 3 of my siblings had developmental disorders, I only asked to be tested)
- “I don’t want that <homophobic slur> in my house no more, I don’t want AIDS”
- “If you really hate me that much go back to your whore mother, she didn’t want you either”
- ”Nobody wants you, I don’t even want you.” (She used this one a lot)
- ”Where would you be if I didn’t take you in?” (Also used this one a lot)
- ”Read. My. Lips.” (I had moderate to severe hearing loss back then, and she refused to learn sign language. She would also get right in my face when she did that)
- ”You a <homophobic slur> now?” (When I pierced both of my ears)
- ”If you move out don’t ever come back, don’t call me, don’t talk to me, don’t ask me for diggity shit”
That last one was fun. I met my partner and snuck out in the middle of the night to fly across the world just to get away from her. She reported me as kidnapped multiple times even after I contacted the detectives AND her to let her know I was only following instructions. Then she denied she ever said that. That was the last time I spoke to her, over a decade ago.
I’m in therapy twice a week for the past few years, was recently diagnosed with adhd and autism, and non-binary transfem. My partner is Indonesian. She can rot in piss.
- you are pathetic
- you make me want to vomit
- you are disgusting
- you are a disloyal, condescending asshole
- you are sickening
- I can’t wait until I no longer have to be around you
Borderline Personality Disorder is not a ride I ever asked to be on.
My dad said various things about “dirty Mexicans”, eugenic stuff about black people or people with severe mental handicaps, and always had some offhand extreme solution for non-conformists who rocked the boat.
He kept it mostly under wraps when I was younger, but as he got older and the Fox News worm ate into his and his social circle’s brains it started leaking out a lot more.
Being sent off to “military school” was an occasional threat. Like that was going to magically fix things.
My step father told me about the time he told my biological father that he had slept with my mom.
I was a small child and we were all living in a house together, my mom, biological father and step father(my bio dads bff at the time). Step father took my bio father out and told him what they had done. My bio father was so happy to hear the news he shook my step father's hand and thanked him profusely. He then proceeded to tell my step father how he wanted to burn the house down with me and my mom in it so this is the best news he could possibly get.
After my step father told me this story he followed it up with "at that moment I should have known and left your mother" 🫠
The money thing is such a fucked up thing to say. “Do you know how much money you cost?!” As if the price of raising children is something a 6 yo is responsible for!
If I was gay I’d have to be lobotomized, not would or could, I’d have to be.. and he’d do it himself. 10 yo and wanted my dad dead.
And the insane gaslighting! He’d stink of cigarettes, reeeeek! Clearly he’d been smoking, but would deny it with the shittiest lies: person X blew smoke in my face! I walked past someone who smoked!
Or when I got a bicycle, dad would guilt trip me af for having spent money on it. And whenever I couldn’t cycle, meaning it would take 10 yo me an hour to get there (20ish KM), he’d be fuming and say he’d sell the bike since I’m not using it..
I’m firmly a believer that having children shouldn’t be allowed for everyone. Some people are terrible and should be sterilized and enslaved. I just don’t know how to implement it, yet!
I had a fight with my sister and I threw away a box of brownies in anger, and my parents told me they should have just gone ahead with the abortion instead of backing down from it because my grandfather wouldn't allow it, I don't know if I hate my parents or my grandfather more.
I was eating dinner with my dad a year ago when he told me about how he believes jews secretly run the world and that there’s something fishy about the Rothschilds. I burst out laughing thinking my dad had suddenly developed a very modern online sense of humor, but unfortunately no.
I’ve never known my dad to be antisemitic, and he even explained that regular jews are a different group from the ones in control.
I straight up told him it’s ridiculous and that he needs to get off the internet, but he never agreed with me. I still don’t know how to handle the situation really.
Oh and my mom went borderline sovereign citizen a few years ago, but I don’t remember what insane thing she said first.
A few days ago my mom made a "joke" that clearly having good kids skipped a generation right after commenting about how well behaved my kids were.
With my own kids now I've been realizing how many of the "behaviors" my parents would complain about and expect me to improve upon were just normal kid stuff
one time when I was little I heard my mum making weird noises in her room. i didn't go check why. the next morning i asked her why were you making weird noises? she said "I was imagining eating Chinese food that was so good"
My dad recently buult a new garden shed in the garden for tools and gardening stuff. He now started refering to the gazebo in the same garden as "the old shed" for some fucking reason. We were doing something that required power and ge asked me to plug in an extension in the shed. I do that and a couple minutes later he berates me and says he meant the old shed. When I asked if he meant the gazebo, he looked at me as if I had slapped him in the face. We've had the gazebo for about 15 years now I think and nobody ever called anything but that.
I was talking to my father about the war in Palestine (my family and I are Jewish so its not unusual). I said "hey maybe peace is a better way of combatting terrorism", he responded that concentration camps should be built to combat terrorism and strip the Palestinians of their culture and identity.
After my mother passed, I spent more time with my father than before, just because I thought it was the right thing to do (and my siblings really did not care that much). I realized why I did not have a lot if contact before, he us a classic toxic boomer narcissist.
Spending more time with him did not mean that we grieved my mother's loss as a family, it was just him monopolizing the grief and needing an audience wallow in self pity. I had no say in any aspect of the funeral, he did not listen to anything I said, he never even once asked how I was, and when I talked about stuff from my life (because someone else asked), he started talking over me, making the conversation about him again. Classic narcissist parent playbook.
At some point i was fed up, and told him as much, which of course did not go over well. Complete disbelief, he acted as if I had insulted him, yelling, accusations of being ungrateful, all the bells and whistles. Not a single thought that this behaviour might have been wrong. I just left and cut contact. After a week or so he wrote me what I think was meant as an apology. What he "apologized" for was that because of his greatness, he was always the center of attention which of course emphasized my insignificance, which he can see made me feel bad. It was so grotesque that I burst out in manic laughter, my wife was seriously worried.
The good thing about this, it made me slowly unwrap what I now realize is a lot of childhood drama (which I thought was normal), and understand why my siblings basically don't want anything to do with him. Still struggling to take the step to seek professional therapy (which I know I need), but I already feel better starting to understand that how my father treated me was not because I am worthless, but because he was a really bad dad.
My dad, the tech genius that he is, has been against every minor step forward since the 90's:
"Why do i need an answering machine, if they need me, they'll call back." He worked for himself as a handyman, so this is plain ridiculous. Finally, someone gives him an answering machine and suddenly it's "This is awesome! I never miss a call! I've got so much work!" Later it was "Why do I need a debit card? I can just write a check!" which evolved to "It's so convenient! I can get gas, even when they're closed!" He repeated the answering machine argument when cell phones arrived, and repeated the results when he finally got one.
It's a running theme in his life. The one that really gobsmacked me was when he proudly declared "the Internet can't hurt me if i don't get on it!"
My mom said I was anorexic because my family was "too normal", and I wanted my parents to divorce. It's so dumb I still don't know how to react twenty years later.
While writing my master thesis my professor suddenly left the university. Noone ever really knew why and there was no official statement other than a short sentence on the website that Prof. XYZ has left the department. My master thesis was on hold while I had to find a new professor. My mother, who has always accused me of being lazy and lying, insisted that it was all a lie. When I pointed out the news on the university website, she said: "I don't know how you hacked the website and got it to display your lies, but I'm not falling for your deceit." I am not a computer science major, I studied linguistics.
When I was little, I did something bad (I don't even remember what it was), and my mom got angry with me about it, and I was already crying, and I asked her "Do you still love me?" and she said "I don't know", and that shit has stuck with me forever and I'm sure contributes to the fact that I don't truly trust anyone. If I brought it up to her now, she'd 100% deny it.
We’re spending all this money on you now so you can’t grow up and say we didn’t spend money on you when your were a kid.
C'mon now, don't be ungrateful. I mean... you made the conscious decision to be born, right?
...
/s, obvously.
"Dinner's only a couple of hours away. Why don't you wait?"
Because I had just finished a sponsored fast for charity and hadn't eaten for two days.
I went on a trip to another country. Unfortunately, I had an accident (involving a fucking hurricane) that almost killed me.I had insurance so they covered all the medical expenses, including tickets and accomdations for one of my parents (aka: one of them could come free of charge). They decided that it was a good opportunity to visit the country since one was coming "for free" and they only had to pay for the other one.
Years later, my father told me that they are still paying the debt for the money they spent "because of me" when I had that accident so it was my fault they were in debt.
I was pregnant as the oldest daughter- three month later my sister told us she's pregnant too. My mother (having a boyfriend of my age at that time): "Oh wouldn't it be fun if I get pregnant too now?"
I couldn't believe what I heard (she is an abusive parent, only 2 of her 9 children contact her at all now, the other have gone non-contact)
I had moved away a few years and my mother was homeless due to her own choices and lack of effort to do anything. My wife and I were in town visiting her family, and we decided to take my mother out to dinner. During the meal she was (rightly) complaining about the perils of being homeless and having to watch out for the pigs. I suggested that she look into getting into some government housing. You know her response?
"I don't want to be the light in he dark."
If you're as confused as I pretended I was, she means she didn't want to live with/around black people. Which was really fucking surprising to me, considering we had lived with, around, and had been friends with all kinds of POC growing up (as you you tend to do in poor and mixed neighborhoods and when you have to rent out rooms to get by). That level of racism was rather surprising, but she had become toxic as fuck in the years before I moved, so it shouldn't have been.
Just sitting and having a casual lunch with my dad at work. Sack lunches that my mom had made us! When he nonchalantly tells me that women aren't people and only exist for men's enjoyment. I basically completely froze out of shock as he spends the next half hour trying to use excerpts from the Bible to prove his point.
I haven't had a conversation with him since and that was nearly 20 years ago. Also realized that Christianity is not something I want to be associated with.
Funny thing is that he used to be adamant that god uses Parkinson's to punish only the worst sinners and he's got it now... Apparently there was some engine cleaning solvent my mom desperately tried to get him to stop using? The government banned it because it was giving people Parkinson's so he stocked up on it to prove my mom wrong...
Back when Wicked, the musical, was brand new & the hot topic & it was just so so cool culturally speaking -- my high school choir was going to take a field trip day to go & watch it live in a big city. 🤩 Time off of school, going to this cool musical, it's a no-brainer. Right?
My parents told me I couldn't go because there was a 20-25% chance of snowfall. Combined with a significant 2+ hour commute, there was a chance I wouldn't make it back home by 6:40 PM on a Wednesday night, and that would cause me to miss the hour long 7 PM Wednesday night church services. 🥴🥴🥴🥴
Not even Sunday morning, most of everyone's day of rest. Wednesday. Night. Services. Couldn't even take a chance on missing that. That was...."special".... 🙄 Religious brainwashing at its finest!
kinda like alot of parents actually, they expect to be paid when they retired, or retire for free or moving into your house. this is what op parents are saying. its a wierd mental gymnastics. basically saying" oh way paid for your're child hood, we should be able to use "you" as our retirement. sounds super transactional to be honest, usually parents dont say that to kids, they are required to do this for kids. unless they are loaning them money/rent to op when he/she was an adult, that would somewhat different.
My dad once said he never hit me as a kid. I was like "bro what world are you living in?"
I found out my parent's computer had a lot viruses because they are dumb and bought a McAffee subscription. I told them, they answered that they knew better than me, I replied that I had a degree in computer sciences, and my father laughed like the fucking idiot he is.
Let's say we don't talk about my job or computer anymore. Also I reduced the visits and phone calls that they had because I'm tired with their bullshit.
My mother used to call me a son of a bitch until I one day replied "I know".
Or
"I don't believe in god because of the things He has done to me, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't believe in Him"
She also talked about her "schizo friend" quite a lot, as if the events were recent, even though there was no chance she had seen the person in over a decade.
We don't speak anymore.
I mean, there are some dark unhinged things in the pipeline of wtf memories, but I prefer the funny and lighthearted ones.
Like when my 80something year old dad got into Shawn the Sheep and Bluey and would start babbling on about the lore in the shows and explain character arcs for different characters and letting me know that this or that season is awesome but that the latest season was total ass.
He also named his lawnmower after one of the characters in one of the shows and actively refers to it by that name when he talks about his gardening projects.
The day my niece was born, my mom had asked me to wake her up so that she could be there after the birth.
Apparently, me actually doing what she asked me to do turned out to be a grave insult.
She ended up yelling and screaming at me, which triggered me, so I started yelling and screaming at her, and then she hit me with the only thing she could think of to actually hurt me.
See, from before I get into that, I've got to explain that from the time I was 15 until I graduated high school at 17, my mom and my stepdad essentially locked me in my room and only let me out for punishment, which was digging up stumps in the backyard or picking up a rock from one pile and hauling it to another pile, picking up a different rock from that pile, hauling that one to the third pile, back and forth. for eight to ten hours a day, And for going to school, just enough to prevent CPS from being called on them.
There was also a healthy dose of corporal punishment on top of that, being beaten for half an hour or longer for the smallest infraction.
It really messed with my head because I honestly thought like at some point they would come to their senses and realize how absurd the entire thing was and apologize and they never fucking did.
Anyway, now that we've got the groundwork in place, my mom decided she would say the thing that she could think of to hurt me, which was to tell me that her mother, my evil grandmother, had convinced her to do all of those things because otherwise no one would ever love me.
And why is it that otherwise no one would ever love me?
because I'm not white
My mom had shamed the entire family by marrying a Native American and giving birth to his child, And my grandmother, who is evil for multiple reasons, and I'll be glad to go into those, cause may she rot in piss, was a terrible person, had decided that the only way to cleanse the family of the stain of my existence was to psychologically induce my own mother into tormenting me in every single possible way she could.
And so every single time I think about all the opportunities I missed out on and all the times my mom wasn't there for me and all of the times that I was neglected and abused throughout my entire childhood, it all rolls back to my grandmother being a racist cunt, and my mother somehow not realizing that for what it was, and just being a good little flying monkey and doing whatever her mother told her to do with her own fucking child.
So yeah, I was abused because my grandmother is racist, and I didn't find out about that until I was 23 years old.
My Dad's gone totally off the rails conspiracy theory nutty.
Fake moon landings, fluoride in the water is mind control, vaccines cause autism and maybe microchips and mind control again, foreign people are simultaneously lazy stealing benefits and stealing all the jobs, my god the racism. He fell into an echo chamber during COVID and hasn't come out again.
The best one was when I was telling him as a healthcare professional on the front lines watching patients and colleagues die that COVID was serious and we should take any opportunity to avoid it and make it better, he told me it was just flu and all fake news.
Yeah I don't talk to my parents much anymore.
My mother did the slitty eyed gesture and said that there were too many chi*ks here, in the car part for a large asian grocery store in the local chinatown that she had chosen to go to, to buy asian food. Yes other people heard and saw what she did, including asians. This was more than twenty years ago so not linked to the current rise of more overt racism.
My relationship with them was already in very thin ice due to repeated trust issues over the years, but what finally sealed it was my coming out to my dad and his response being "it's all because of this woke generation". Coming from someone who I thought had a very left leaning stance, therapy over the following years made me realize just how shitty and homophobic they really were. Turns out I'm probably more bi than gay (also ace), but it still stands.
Parent told me I shouldn't hold it against my older sibling who abused me when I was younger because the older sibling also remembered my birthday and got me toys when I was younger
My step dad believes that the history of the physical world is as his mother explained it to him 70 years ago.
some_guy's mother: Something something the gays, I just wish they didn't have to be so in your face about it.
My mother telling me I should not think that she makes any money with me. (Backstory: Was living with her, dad paid
alimonychild support). I was baffled, because even when I lowkey suspected that, it was not even a relevant thing for our conversation at this time.A few years later, when I wanted to move out for studying it was suddendly a problem, because she could not make the full payments for her house without the
alimonychild supprt from my dad. So I stayed.Some more years down the line I finally wanted to move out, as I had a full time job in sight and wanted to live with my boyfriend. I was in my mid-twenties. Basically the conversation was the same as before, she could not pay for her house without me. She could not answer my question how she thought this would work out. Was she expecting me to live with her until she paid for the house? Because this would be up until my forties, maybe longer. The house is not big enough for two families, so it was never an option for me and my bf to move in. Of course I moved out.
My parents are good people, but my mom doesn’t know anything about technology. There was an incident where something was wrong with her computer. I had to go over and fix it. She said she couldn’t get the screen to come on no matter how much she moved the mouse.
The mouse was unplugged, cord hanging off behind the desk.
She said the mouse had somehow popped itself out and asked if there was one that couldn’t do that.
I was like always told to respect them before beating me and telling me how much of a dumb, useless piece of shit I am and that I should be thankfull they did not abandone me and decided to put up with such an eyesore.
I guess they never heard that you have to actually earn the respect and now wonder why I won't call them more than once a week.
Sounds like your parents might be in financial trouble to say that. Trying to guilt trip you into.giving them money, or expecting you to be a golden goose.
I try to be generous in my readings & assign to others....grace & the best of intentions. So! I take what your parents said and, while not eloquent, you could maybe read it as: they were more frugal in your younger years, saving money "just in case" or whatever. Now that more years have come & gone without horrible financial issue, they have an abundance of sorts, and they feel more confident about splashing a little more cash on you now, and frankly when you are of an age to appreciate it more. 🙂
I've seen people spend stupid amounts of money on newborns, 2-3 year olds, and it's like....you know they won't remember any of this. Right? 🤔 Same with very young kids, yes they'll remember & appreciate certain things, but most of it idk is just kind of lived & lost. So your parents say that, and if it is in good faith with good intentions, I feel that. Kinda. I just wouldn't articulate it like that.
