Have your parents ever said something so unhinged that you’re just left standing there like🧍♂️?
Have your parents ever said something so unhinged that you’re just left standing there like🧍♂️?
Mine hit me with the “We're spending all this money on you now so you can’t grow up and say we didn’t spend money on you when your were a kid.”
Like.....okay??? Thanks for the emotional receipt, I guess??
My mom is a protected, sheltered, southern American born again Christian, 72, with dementia.
While watching Jurassic Park:
"God killed the dinosaurs and wouldn't allow them on Noah's ark so, this movie isn't real".
That's good to know, mom. I was scared for a minute or two.
This is addressed in the movie - man had to destroy god to create the dinosars again. In the end
spoiler
woman inherits the earth :::.
Dad once said he wishes I wasn't his son, that one of my childhood friends was instead. I told this to one of my friends and he said something I really appreciate. He said I'm the strongest person he knows because anyone else would've ... let's say taken drastic measures to escape abuse.
Mum once told me that she wished she was brave enough to go through with the abortion.
From Mom: "You don't deserve any praise for your good grades. You already speak the languages in those classes so it's expected you do well."
From Dad: "Why did you only get 99%?"
Context: I grew up in a household where we spoke many languages. In highschool I had an easy time getting good grades in all the foreign language lessons but struggled with Maths or Science classes. The parents couldn't fathom I could have a failing grade because I didn't need to study for some classes (which should have given me more time to study for other classes, amarit?).
From Mom: "You don't deserve any praise for your good grades. You already speak the languages in those classes so it's expected you do well."
They could have been more sensitive about it, but I get the logic?
When I was home for the summer after my first year of university, I was taking a distance course. I listened to music a lot while studying. Day before a test, dad was yelling at me for not studying enough. He refused to believe I had studied because he heard me playing music a lot. He couldn't comprehend I could have music on and be studying. To be fair, now that I'm older I have trouble concentrating on other things while music is on but back then I could have music on and study. I can't fathom thinking a person must be actively listening to music and doing nothing else. Also because of my autism, being yelled at unfairly the day before a test actually made it harder to concentrate on the test because I was focused on being unfairly yelled at. Also this was after I had been living away from home for a year and passed most of my university classes, so he should have known I knew what I was doing when it came to studying. And if he didn't think I could study with music playing, how the fuck did he think I had sufficient time to study in the dorms?
cw: sexual assault
when i was 12 my father drunkenly told me that he had planned out a rape. learned the woman's habits and stalked her and chickened out at the last minute. the wistfulness in his voice as he slurred out this confession makes my skin crawl to this day.
My childhood was really fucked up but that one stands out.
Not as a kid, no.
And never when not in an altered state if consciousness.
But, my dad did hit me with a hell of a verbal punch when he was whacked out of his head post bypass surgery.
He was hallucinating hard, and it became necessary for him to be temporarily restrained for his and everyone else's safety. I wasn't letting random assholes lay hands on him so the nurses could do their job, so I did it. Wasn't difficult physically, and I know how to restrain people without hurting them.
Well, as the new dose of meds is kicking in after he's been secured, he comes out with "the wrong one died". My brother died before I was born, you see. As a toddler.
Like, it didn't really hurt, not like I would have thought it would. But the sheer shock of it was overwhelming. It let me know he was way more messed than I had thought, and it did hurt a little. Like, damn dude, wtf? The only reason it hurt a little was not being sure of it was only the situation, or if that thought had been in his head before and only came out because of the situation.
I rolled with it though. He has no recollection of most of those days. Just flashes of some of the hallucinations. No big deal long term, but it was disorienting in the moment for sure
Your feelings about this are still valid though. As a father of multiple kids: this might be the result of his own thoughts about one of his children dying that come out due to the medication and this is certainly not about you but about his grief. I would never give up any of my children for anybody else, not even if I ever lost a child (I think). They are prefect the way they are. And so are you. Never doubt a good dad loving his children. :)
That is a beautiful thing to say. Thank you :)
When I was a teen and my brother started behaving in a sexually inappropriate way towards me, my mom told me it's normal for teenaged siblings to be curious about each other sexually, and him trying to break into the bathroom while I was showering, or showing his erection off to me were "just what having a brother is like". Really makes me wonder about her and her brother.
The word for leaving you 🧍is nonplussed
Literally speechless because you have no idea how or what to respond.
Thnx, learned something new today