And that's how I ended with usually waking up 15-20min (+/-10min snooze) before having to leave for work. No time to think, just do.
And then people complain because you're 10 minutes late. Hey, you don't know the effort it has taken me to be here at all. Is that not enough!?
I can confirm that normies do not, nay, CANnot understand this. It doesn’t compute for them. Because I have tried explaining, in depth, with metaphors (“you know how feel about cleaning the cat’s litter box? That’s how we feel about virtually every necessary life task!”). Nothing works.
cleaning the litterbox is actually less unpleasant:
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doesn't have to happen at a specific time
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if I fuck it up, it doesn't spill over into other tasks
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it's an act of service towards someone else and thus easier to motivate me than something that's for myself
^^^^^^^ i've tried explaining to my therapist that having an external source of motivation just makes things intrinsically easier and her only response is basically "well you just need to figure out how to be that external source" and i'm like =| thanks for curing ADHD lady. just gotta THINK about it harder.
Well, this is my mother we’re talking about. I don’t think she really is into doing things for others for altruistic reasons.
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It's not that it's unpleasant, there just is no reward in the end.
"Normies" get an actual rush of dopamine from finishing a task. The ADD brain doesn't, it just ticks the task off the list and lists the next 12 tasks to be done. No pleasure received.
i usually explain it like that:
on a good day when i make tea i only see 3 steps 1) boil water 2) take out a mug & tea 3) pour water over tea bag in the mug & enjoy!
on a bad day when i make tea i see 11 steps 1) pour water into kettle 2) turn the kettle on 3) find mug 4) take out mug 5) find tea 6) take out a tea bag 7) put tea bag in mug 8) make sure the water doesn't reach boil [most teas need 90°C to brew well] 9) pour the water into the mug 10) don't forget to take the mug with you 11) don't forget to drink once it cools down
it's the same action, and on all days i can easily do 3 actions, the problem begins when those 3 actions start looking like 11 actions
It pisses me off so much when people are like "have you tried breaking up the task into smaller tasks?" Yes Janet, my brain has already broken the task up into infinite smaller tasks. That's the problem.
Yes, Janet, I have tried 42 different task management systems to solve this issue =)
It's the Coastline paradox: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coastline_paradox
Other people see just A and B. We start from A and get to B.
I see immediately that there are at least 5 more steps in between, and each of those can have multiple steps inside them. And until I've solved the maze of interconnected issues, I'm not going to start moving towards B because I might get stuck in the middle with an incomplete task.
You've articulated this perfectly.
I’ve heard it put as “climbing a wall”. The mental effort needed to overcome the resistance to switching gears or engaging in a task.
Some walls are low and kinda easy. Some are impassable unless the consequences are close enough to overwhelm the difficulty in climbing the wall.
Doesn’t mean it’s easier. Doesn’t mean the frustration and irritability aren’t gonna happen. And no, people definitely don’t get it.
My fiancée asked me to do an easy, mindless task of downloading all the CC for her sims. I tried to explain this to her, and she didnt believe me until she saw that an hour of it reduced me to tears
downloading all the CC for her sims
the creative commons licensing model?
Custom Content.
Yeah, I was like, "Your characters in the game "The Sims" have credit card numbers?"
Trying to do some tasks feels like trying to lift an entire car by yourself. I use the required muscles and push them to the limit but the car isn't even moving.
People are dumb. I don't have ADHD and still can relate, because when a few things in a row don't go as planned and require extra steps to get done, I get a desire to kill and smash
It took me two years to pick up five quarters that I dropped on the driver's side of my car when I got my change back at a coffee place.
For two whole fucking years, the noise, sight, and presence of those dropped coins irritated me and stole my peace of mind.
It took me only a few seconds to pick up those coins when I finally decided to. I don't know why I didn't pick them up before.
ADHD is a horrible disease and it makes life hard for me and for those around me.
I have been married for 13 years and my wife still doesn’t get certain aspects of it. It’s just hard for them to get outside of their own thought processes.
Slow elevators make me want to murder.
I like elevators :)
fun little rides on a boring day
