My wife asks how my day was "great, or good, or whatever" then I ask how her day was she usually stops talking before bedtime. Works for both of us!
Asking someone you love "How was your day?" is a meaningful question. Small talk is bullshit time wasting between randos or acquaintances.
after you get through all the asking each other stuff to get to know each other's histories etc phase, it's okay to just not talk all the time
Silence is bliss while doing your own hobbies together.
I do exactly this ! Hi honey how was your day ? Kids were restless ? Ok. Does that affect your stance on education through play ? is punishment sometimes advisable ? you haven't read your copy of Foucault's Discipl.... hey where are you going ?... baby ??
I REFRAIN FROM THE PRACTICE OF UTILIZING MINISCULE SPEECH. EACH AND EVERY INSTANCE OF MY EXPRESSION IS VAST AND VERBOSE AND MAXIMAL.
ITT we ask the autistic to self identify
Being in a relationship means you can come home and totally info-dump unguarded about whatever weird thing you're contemplating and the person opposite you will be happy you're there and delighted that you're happy or sad with you if you're sad. It also means you do this for the other person with genuine interest. I don't call that "small talk".
if you're in a relationship you can just hug instead of small talk
Meaningful.
The clue is in meaningful.
Hi honey did you see today’s shitposts memes?
how do people who like small talk plan on being in sustained meaningful relationships what are you gonna do "hi honey nice weather we're having huh?"
my plan is to be too busy kissing my partner at all times to say anything
Silence isn't a crime you know...it's actually pretty great.
Pretty much yeah.
Spouse and I ponder the mysteries of life and the universe while we’re cuddling.
So this person thinks they can choose small talk? curious.
There is nothing wrong with silence, also my partner and I always have something to talk about that isn't small talk. We have been together for 22 yrs. We have a lifetimes worth of shared experiences to converse about.
I mean You can hate small talk with strangers and co workers but still enjoy small talk with your partner
Daily life is what daily life is all about.
I do think I'd potentially be happier with a partner who I could speak philosophy and politics with, but if we couldn't also function simply navigating running a household and raising our family, then we really couldn't be anything more than friends with benefits long term. Not that that would be a bad thing. It just depends on how you want to live your life, and whether you value a stable partnership over firey romance.
Some people are lucky enough to have a partner that fulfills the entirety of their intellectual, intimate, familial and financial needs, but such people are few and far between I'm sure!
That sounds great, actually
Bold of you to assume I can form and maintain a relationship.
Yes.
"Look, I told you yesterday, I don't care. Whatever I said the first time we had this discussion, today, on the 937th time, I no longer give a shit."
I think everyone needs to recalibrate what 'small talk' is.
Some people are acting so opposed to small talk, as if it requires writing an essay on why you love a list of pop culture influencers and reality stars.
I don't think it matters.
I honestly don't think it's a meaningful question.
I hate talking small. I'm not good at it. It's one of the reasons I have a limited number of profound friendships rather than being liked by everybody. I'm an introvert. I'm ok with that. My partner can chat when we see each other after work because when we're talking about the kitties doing something cute or what we wanna have for dinner that's not small talk. That's talking about things with very low impact or consequences.
My partner and I have surprisingly little in common when it comes to interests. I like a lot of nerd stuff: homelab, 3d printing, robotics, brewing, welding, woodworking, sci-fi, etc. They like not nerd stuff: copaganda shows, murder porn (podcasts and documentaries), dog training, cooking, etc. I like metal, they like jangly indie, we both like punk. We both really love cats.
We also both hate small talk, so we only discuss what we find to be pertinent or interesting. Since we have a lot of individual interests, we actually have a lot to talk about. We just had a really great conversation on using Docker or a VM to circumvent some silly online testing issues. Otherwise, it's just comfortable silence. I really love them.
To a (modern) compatibilist, free will is the capacity to respond to the same stimulus with different reactions, i.e. it’s equivalent to the cybernetic concept of degrees of freedom. As such, answer:
“You can poke a ball-point pen and it’s going to do the same thing, over and over again: Extend and retract the lead. It is predictable because its internal complexity is below the threshold of chaos.” Then proceed to repeatedly poke them in the arm to see how many different reactions they have to that. Mentally prepare for a tickle fight.
Yeah, this literally is how it works, like to a T.
I think the point is more to filter out people quickly who you couldn't be in a sustainable relationship with anyways.
I don't mind it as much as i used to anymore. But ten years ago, i consistently associated "small-talk" people with people who were superficial and wouldn't comprehend important issues should they ever come up anyways.
Also i'm not sure how right i was about that.
The couples that argue all the time, they hate smalltalk. Just tell him to bring out the trash.
No small talk only big talk
Because the statement is incomplete. It should be “hate small talk with certain people or strangers”. You can hate small talk with most people but at the same time talk with your spouse for hours.
"i just don't think this relationship is going to work. i need more small talk."
"...the fuck? ok, bye"
Nope. Free will is an illusion that we have because we live in a world that's too complex to predict. We are a product of our circumstance.
no ofc not
youve got the illusion of it, but you cant control if you will move away from a flame or when you feel sleepy
and the rest of your thoughts are just funky chemical
Honestly yes that's kind of what I do.
I think it half-exists. I speak from a deep inspection of will performed while meditating.
There is a spark of energy that arises from my mysterious depths, that preceeds choice. I dunno where it comes from. Like I said, mysterious depths.
The spark enters this world and takes its form from it. Becomes a choice. Taking form from formlessness like breath blown into a flute. Or a player's will injected into a videogame.
We gossip about our coworkers/classmates /people we know in common or talk about shared hobbies and upcoming plans together.
Yes.
If I'm being manipulated from on-high by some otherworldy powerful, possibly eldritch abomination, then that's actually way more metal than just being some dude.
edit: I was supposed to criticise the relationship advice, got it... Yeah, I'm divorced.
Legally, yes. Deterministicly, maybe.
Free will is just the total sum of available options an actor can take, assuming another actor can be put into the same position.
- Nope.
- Why ?
- Because I said so. Go to your room and do your homework.
fyi do not talk about whether women have freewill to your conservative husband or it will hurt their feelings and some of their hearts have grown so tiny it might crush their old self in a single blow.
More like "hi honey, I'm home, would you fancy a quick fuck?"
Free will exists, the conditions to have free will do not exist.
That's the casual conversations of my DnD party
No I think not. But the feeling of freewill do exist and seems universal. So if we have a fact based approach, it does not change much. I think there it a lot of proof that freewill is at least very weak compare to social determinism.
What about how the left and right brain can operate independently when split?
