I interpret it as "we (men) need no external validation, but it's nice to get". However, I argue that we do need external validation and denying that is toxic masculinity.
You're not wrong! Also not super relevant here. This is like responding "all lives matter" to a black lives matter comment. Well, maybe not that bad, but I hope you get my point.
This is part of the reason why I don't compliment men. The first part is I'm just shy as fuck when it comes to complimenting anybody and will literally flounder in my mind about whether to say it or not, only for the person to walk away. missionfailed
But the other half is not wanting to seem like I'm hitting on a man, because then if he harasses/pesters me, he'll think he's justified because I gave him a compliment so obviously I must wanna fuck him...
But yeah I'll be thinking, "his fashion is so good!" or "that cologne smells nice!" or "I love that tshirt!" but then I worry about coming off the wrong way, so I don't say anything...
Yeah. We need to teach our boys not to assume somebody is hitting on them and that they are not entitled to a person’s body, affection or attention. Then women will feel more comfortable displaying their feelings and men won’t have to worry so much about missing signs.
I was playing some drinking game with a few of my friends a couple months ago and one of the cards resulted in me having to take my shirt off, ever since then 2 of them have been gassing me up about what good shape I'm in and mentioning it to the rest of them about how I'm in good shape. I don't work out to get compliments but I'd be lying if I said my self esteem hasn't gone through the roof since this started.
I just got back from a doc visit for a shoulder injury. They told me "yea sometimes muscular guys like you fool us and we miss a tear because their delts are overcompensating"
All I heard was "you're muscular", going to be riding that high for a bit. Luckily no rotator cuff tear, probably just a bad sprain, will be back to bench press soon enough
Men in general do not put any (or at least as much) work in their appearance as women. When was the last time you or any man you know took over an hour to get ready because they were doing their skin routine?
There is definitely a significant cultural influence on this, obviously starting at a young age.
But as someone who did put an effort into their appearance during my college days, women did notice.
My niece has been getting heavily into skincare. As long as we're being honest, most of a typical "skincare routine" is placebo, and some of it is actively counter-productive. I know a few women who have a laissez-faire approach to skincare, and their results are almost as good. I believe that the routine is more about the ritual, and psychic need to try to gain some measure of control in a crazy society, than results.
I need it, desperately. My gf knows this, pays me compliments, and every single one is a core memory for me. Also working out and getting a bit swole means you get a lot of compliments from the boys, which is also nice.