What would your 15 year old self think of you now?

My 15-year-old self probably wouldn't recognize me, but would be okay with me being a woman. I would have transitioned earlier had I known it was possible, and I always had a "be true to who you are" mentality from the start.

I got my dream job and met my soulmate later than I hoped, so I hope past me isn't a perfectionist. The wait was worth it. I'm not living in my dream city, but where I ended up is very similar.

Past me would be sad that I'm not in a band, and I hope she would understand that chronic acid reflux killed my dream of continuing as a concert saxophonist. I've started over and am learning piano instead. I'll get there if she'll be patient. The tradeoff is that I realized I can kind of sing, which would make her really happy...except I'm a baritone and not an alto. But that's okay. It's a step up.

I think she'd be most glad that I faced my demons. I'm not sad all the time anymore. The social anxiety never totally went away, but I can carry a conversation with new people, and I can easily pick up a phone without having a panic attack. I got out of that awful relationship, learned to stand up for myself, and realized a relationship isn't a requirement for happiness.

She wouldn't ask, but she would be desperate to move in with me and get away from her extremely abusive mother.

I wouldn't wait for her to ask. She'd have a place to stay here until she didn't need it anymore, and I'd begin working on all those problems of hers... If she let me!

Abuse as a child is one of the hardest things to go through, and psychological abuse alone is incredibly destructive. You did great getting away from that and working on the problems your mum caused. I'm glad you survived it
- And if anybody needs it, I empowered myself by thinking about things I wished a mom would do for me, and then learned to do them for myself, but also for others!
  
  So if you might need a spare Mom, hmu!

Very confused about how I went from being a cishet conservative Catholic guy to an atheist bisexual trans woman. So, probably not stoked about that.

Aside from that, probably pretty happy! I’ve got a good job and a kickass wife. I have a dog and friends and a little garden. Those were all things I wanted in my future even when I was 15, and here we are!

Completely blown away. I had several things that I was completely utterly afraid of. And it was a lot of things at the age of 15. Meanwhile I was in the worst part of my life. So she would be absolutely in awe.

That I am in fact not homeless.
Not married and no children.
A decent job.
I do have a car.
One bedroom apartment. (A big deal)
That I no longer fight depression and suicidal thoughts or ideations.
That I have dropped every single “friend” that I knew previously before I joined the military. - she would be floored lol.
I did join the army and stayed in for a long time. That I got my E6.
That I am still alive and healthy. She would be amazed and mind blown. Completely floored and jaw dropped.

Wow Aizawa you've done amazing. You're alive, healthy and your mental health is far better. You're doing so well in day to day life it's incredible

Ugh. I don't want to think about it.

I, um, I'm not sure actually 😅

As far as my life in the real world that I have to live goes: bitterly disappointed. As far as my sense of identity and beliefs go, happy. But also disappointed that I only got to this point when it basically seems like it's too late.

I just hope that in this hypothetical situation where my 15 year old self gets a glimpse of me now, that it causes my 15 year old self to do things differently and have a great life in a parallel universe.

It sounds like you feel disappointed in where you are right now. That's not a nice feeling, it's hard. What's caused that disappointment?
- Just want to say, I was trying to answer your question without offloading too much, and I'm sorry that I kinda did. We all have problems and I don't want to make mine yours or anyone else's. I'm just feeling sorry for myself right now, that's all. And I'll probably magically feel better when I get my hands on some herb again. Tbh I'm thinking of deleting my first response because it's a bit much. Thank you for being kind and asking tho.

She would be obsessed with my house, I totally had her in mind when buying it. She'd think I was insanely cool and hopefully feel a sense of relief that the way she feels at 15, while really difficult, won't last forever, there is a horizon. She also gets a massive hug from me, she did a tremendous job under heartbreaking circumstances.

She'd be very confused, and then excited that I'd finally figured it out. It only took me another 20ish years 😹

My 15 year old self was ambitious, pompous, materialistic and very edgy. I think she'd be disappointed I wasn't living in a castle, and confused as to why I wasn't a high powered lawyer making 6 figures. She would also wonder what happened to our "soul mate" from high school (lol). Honestly I don't care what she thinks, I'm glad my goals and priorities have changed since then.

I think she'd love that I do lot for charity and stuff. She'd love my house, hair and like lots of my clothes. She'd have mixed feelings about me not being in touch with my family.

Regarding my sexuality... I think she'd probably shriek that she's straight and hide under the duvet. So I don't think I'll mention that...

There would be a mix of profound excitement, and profound disappointment.

NGL I’d be a lot cooler and confident than I was back then lol

"You have a husband? Hmmm okay I guess. Why are you gardening??? We hate the outside! We love having a library computer room and cats though. Fine fine. Get healthier??"

Yeah, that’s about right