Pretty much, if you are like the "average redditor" guy's videos, then people aren't going to like you, even if you are technically correct.
There are also plenty of people who know a lot about adjacent subjects, think that they are correct all of the time, and are confidently wrong. Both kinds of people suck to be around.
If 1 person has said something in this vein to me, I would not think much of it, if 2 or more people said it, then I would really take a hard look at myself and how I can better empathize with people.
Take their concerns seriously, but not necessarily literally.
Maybe they're accurately describing something you do. Maybe not.
Do you try to continue conversations when the other person is trying to disengage? That's an actual thing that many people do; maybe that includes you. Try different approaches, like "Hmm, I still disagree, but I don't need to continue talking about this either" — or just noticing whether it's really important to you to press the subject, and whether the other person is receptive.
Pay attention to the other person's discomfort there. Even if you're right and even if it's important, if someone is tired of hearing your opinion, they're not going to change their mind.
Even if they're not accurately describing you, they're still describing what you seem like to them, at that moment. They may be insecure about their own understanding or judgment, and feel like you have more power than them in the situation, and that you're using it poorly. (But the one thing not to do to an insecure person is to call them insecure.)
One thing they're almost certainly not trying to do, is to escalate the argument to the meta-level of arguing about how good or bad you are at arguing.
If it's a loved one, maybe they don't want an argument; maybe they want a hug. (Ask.)
Yep, 90+% of any conversation is about how you're making the other person feel, not about any actual content of the words being said.
And if anyone just read that and thought "bullshit, that's stupid and illogical," I have some bad news for you about how brains work. (Also: I used to think like that too.)
Our ancestors used their mouths to make emotional noises long before they used their mouths to express logical propositions.
We can never do just one thing with language. Every time we're making a factual statement, we're also saying something about our mood, and our relationship to our audience, and so on. That's just part of what language does.
Take the Keane Reeves approach to having a relaxed life - don't have any arguments, to paraphrase him "Two plus two equals five? OK great, have a nice day, see you around!"
I remember someone saying that and how much it hurt. Because I feel if I know the answer, I am compelled to share it. I see it as a need on their side that I should fulfill. I am a “how can I fix it” mentality. But some people are complaining or speaking just to be heard. They want commiseration, not answers.
If it’s someone close to you, then speak about it — “I’m sorry, I thought you wanted an answer or suggestion, I feel I should provide if I can. Is that not what you’re looking for?”
If it’s someone else, whose opinion is not necessary, you can make a mental note to let them have their delusions, just maybe not with you around.
Say nothing. You just beat their argument. Also, relax, let people be wrong. It's kind of funny when people come up to you weeks or months later and admit you were right. If you're right most of the time, but don't argue about it, it kind of fucks with people after a while.
I got that from someone as projection - as in, if I didn’t let her say some insulting and inaccurate things and then stomp away, it was supposedly because I had to have the last word.
As far as “you have to be right” I point out that being correct is objective and yes, I’d like to have conversations that make sense. If I’m wrong, tell me how and I’m fine with that. Otherwise, I will indeed say things that I believe are correct and true.
Yeah, the only person who has said it to me on my life is someone who is deep in conspiracy theories. For some "weird" reason I don't have this problem with anyone else in my life.
Maybe you don’t always have to be right? Is this coming from people just trying to have a casual conversation? When I’m in that situation I usually just say something basic like “oh interesting!” then move the conversation in a different direction.
My dad's friend told him this when they were discussing something. My dad pointed out that the other guy was also keeping the discussion going, being just as guilty of wanting to be right as my dad.
OR to people who have been proven wrong and want to deflect the conversation to a personal attack on the one who proved them wrong, which is also often the case with arguments like in the OP 🤷
When a person says this, sometimes even if they do it in a positive tone, it's usually a way to verbalize more concrete concerns that you should address. For example, they might feel that you are always dismissing their opinions, that you don't listen to them in general, or they would simply like to get support when they express their views in a group so they get some recognition. In any case, they feel like you can do something to help but may not feel comfortable to express it or may not have fully identified it. If that person is important to you, you should be able to see what they want and take action.
Letting them have the last word by leaving. Well unless you are their parental figure in which case it’s I’m your X I’m legally required to have the last word.
It could also be that you (OP) could be wrong (at least sometimes) but continue to insist that you are correct. But consider that needing to be right is just another way of saying needing to prove other people wrong. That is exhausting and infuriating from the other side to have someone constantly tear you down. It's not being factually correct that's infuriating, it's the attitude that goes along with needing to be correctz because (if it's being pointed out to you in such a manner) it's not done in a friendly way, but an adversarial way.
People usually just want to have fun, friendly, conversations. When someone, sometimes not even the person you're talking to, butts in and keeps insisting your wrong and that you must acknowledge them, it's extremely rude. It derails the conversation to centre around how smart you (think you) are, instead of the topic, in an adversarial way.
I know someone who "had to have the last word". I'm still trying to figure out if he's maybe neurodivergent and honestly doesn't understand, or if he's just an arrogant asshole. But the end result is the same: you come off as a arrogant asshole, and no one will like you for it. Not only does he always "have to be right", he inserts himself when people aren't even talking to him, and won't let other people move on with the conversation until they acknowledge that he's right. It's rude, selfish, and self centred behaviour.
And then he cries himself the victim when people don't like him, which makes everyone dislike him even more.
The fact that you're even asking this question in this way ("how do I be right?" and not "why do people say this?") shows your need to be correct and make someone else wrong, and your victim complex about it. If I knew you in real life, I wouldn't be your friend.
I 100% agree with what you just said. I used to be a smartarse (and also a dumbarse in hindsight) and have realised the value in de-escalation and letting things lie. There are times where it's OK to say "I haven't considered that" or "I don't know enough to really have an opinion", even if you do know.
Even if you're convinced you're right and they're wrong, if neither of you are going to change your stance just simmer down and let it go. You're never going to change each others minds.