Heisskalt's "Absorber". The verses are in German, Google Translate does a decent job here though. The song came right into a break in my love-and-other-things life. Perfect.
Came upon it right at the start of Lent last year and while on the surface it seems very irreverent, for me it hits hard. Taken sincerely, it's a reminder of our culpability –my culpabilty– in the flaws of the world, the moral imperfection that made the sacrifice of Christ necessary.
It came on while I was driving, struggling through feeling like I just didn't have enough time. Trying to work up the cash to get to a better place, feeling stuck in a dead-end job that I've lost what little passion I had for, not really many opportunities to get something better in my area.
Trying to work through my own identity, feeling how much of who I have been was something built on the things pushed onto me, feeling like I've missed so much of my own life being buried within a shell that was just starting to open. Trying to open it more, knowing I had to face the risks because staying inside was killing me.
Feeling like I was behind, running towards something I could never catch. I had to pull over because I had started crying. I was doing all this, making myself feel worse, and never taking that chance to just be. To be comfortable in my skin, to be who I really am, to let the time pass through and just smile, even for a little while.