The theorem has been expressed colloquially as "you can't comb a hairy ball flat without creating a cowlick" or "you can't comb the hair on a coconut".
A hairy doughnut … on the other hand, is quite easily combable.
What gives someone the right to speak like this. You think this is the kind of factoid I can just forget?? No, this meme is going to jockey my brain until the day I die.