I'm late to this thread, but 100% Jadzia Dax. She's old and young, knows how to have a good time, doesn't take things too seriously, but has loads of guts and grit.
And also Kira Nerys. Tough, doesn't take any shit, isn't afraid to advocate for things she cares about. But also warm and hopeful.
I totally agree with you! Kira was tough, a resistance fighter but cared a lot about things too. Star trek really did have some great women characters!
Without muss, fuss or ego, she just takes control of whatever situation she finds herself in. And she's strong enough that everyone accepts it because she leads by example and proves that she knows what she's talking about every time.
Quiet confidence.
Very much reminds me of Tyrion Lannister telling his grandson that any man who has to keep saying he's the king is no true king.
Now that I'm considering this, I'm finding the idea of safe-haven-grandma attractive. Smart. Knows her herbs and medicinals. Bakes a kickass carrot cake. Takes in strays of all sorts for a little time or not. Kind of like the oracle from Matrix, but less secretive.
I'd really like to have Cersei from GoT manoeuvring skills and political acumen, although I'd only use them for good. I'd love to be as fierce as Gemma from Sons of Anarchy but with Willow from Buffys sweet nature. Overall there's no one character I'd want to be.
I liked Daenerys Targaryen from GoT, she went through a lot of abuse/trauma but learned to assert herself and rose up to free slaves, kill slave masters, and raise dragons. She seemed to be a feminist icon, wanting to end oppression. But the TV show decided to ruin her character, ugh.
I loooovveed Dani, she went through so much pain but always stayed strong and had such a good heart. Then in season 8 she went insane in the space of 4 episodes for no reason. Her characters was one of the most badly butchered by the season, it was so shit.
You could smash all the traits of the women on the Serenity into one, and that would be the greatest human ever.
Zoe, the leader and badass fighter? Check. Kaylee, the effervescent mechanical prodigy, who acts as both Mom and moral compass? Check! Inara, the sensual stateswoman that brings a modicum of legitimacy to an otherwise OUTLAW operation? Yup. And River? Who doesn't want a wispy little dancer that can utterly destroy a Reaver raiding party, singlehandedly?
Jessica Fletcher (Murder She Wrote). Observant, kind, good writer, independent, makes friends with ease, sticks up for the truth, makes the police look incompetent.
Lots of good choices already here ... I'm going to go with Nadja from What We Do in the Shadows, she's bold and smart, and ¿supportive? Also, kills a lot if assholes.