I am a bit confused
I am a bit confused
Edit: I know him from my work for about a month. We click as friends. He is not a tinder thing. I forgot to mention that. Thanks.
We decided to be friends with my 1 week fling (M32). We holded hands then I(F29) developed feeling for him too soon. I thought he was reciprocating to my feelings when he kissed me and hold me and fondled my breasts. We didn't have sex yet and i wanted it and said so. Two days after those moments he said that he wasn't feeling the same way as me. He didn't say that to me at first moments to not make me sad. He wants to be friends in some sort of first stage or for a indefinent time, he hadn't decided yet. I give it to him. I was way too direct in my approach yet i feel some sort of heart broken as being as hopeless romantic as me. I honestly don't know to approach to sitation and appreciate input.
Sounds like he wants to be just friends or possibly friends with benefits. If you aren't ok with either of those, you have a couple options: A. Distance yourself from him to minimize pain, or B. Suggest being friends with benefits, see how it goes, and maybe he will also develop feelings over time, then you can suggest he reconsider commitment.
I guess I want to be friends with benefits. Because even though it is harsh at least he didn't lead me on like my particular one past experience and he said he would like to try again in later times, maybe. And he seems to enjoy my friendship. But i must seize on other love opportunities too I guess. Thank you for your opinion. Have a nice day.
I’m confused how many people are involved here? The use of “we” and “I”…?
English is not their first language
Yep. Thank you.
I think you should take some time to self-reflect and think about what you really want for yourself in the future. Is this a guy you want to be your boyfriend or still just a fling? If he's just a fling, you feel no emotional connection, and just want to have sex, move on and get someone who actually wants sex with you. If this is someone who you want to pursue in a serious relationship, ask yourself if this is a person who genuinely makes you feel happy and supported?
Personally, I don't think he wants to be involved and isn't worth your time and effort. Life is really short and there's billions of people out there to meet, millions in your appropriate dating pool, thousands interested in dating, and likely hundreds where you are. So don't get caught up in some romantic idea of pursuit and star-crossed lovers.
No TLDR. Sorry not sorry.
Thank you for your response. I guess I didn't give enough info on myself and what this guy is. I know him from the work and we knew each other before this silly thing too. I said fling as in our relationship is short timed right now. Now I will talk about your valid points as in I am also journaling through this.
I think you should take some time to self-reflect and think about what you really want for yourself in the future.
I had years for that. And it only made me weak and inexperienced, sky-rocketed my expections. I just want to experience the present and what it brings. But in your words;
pursuit and star-crossed lovers
I am seriously sucker for that idea. I believe that means two person who completes each other. No complaints no argument just pure bliss. But life is not like that so I try to change my idea of relationships. That is why I am in that position right now.
If he's just a fling, you feel no emotional connection, and just want to have sex, move on and get someone who actually wants sex with you.
I can say I don't feel that much of a 'love'. Maybe the feeling i have is not heart-broke but "tricked and it sadness by it" Even shock. A bit anger sprinkled.
I want him yet and if I let my mind wander enough will want another people too. I believe I am attractive enough, I am fine in my skin. He said to me thay he wants to take relationship a bit slow and it kind of makes sense to me. But i will look for other options too.
If this is someone who you want to pursue in a serious relationship, ask yourself if this is a person who genuinely makes you feel happy and supported?
I don't define my happiness with the people around me and believe a person's only support in life is themselves. I had to think about those two ideas in years, believe me. I used to be a very lonely person who used to be medicated for depression. I just want to learn the ropes of the life it that makes sense.
He is kind of harsh with his words normally. I know him from work. But I am not a mushy gushy gal indeed. We joke about each other, talk about nonsense for hours. He used to give me his honest while we were just friends. Maybe his mind became complicated in this week too. I wouldn't trash him yet.
Personally, I don't think he wants to be involved and isn't worth your time and effort.
My brain says that too. But as I said thinking only made me weak. I didn't want any kind of relationship in years, didn't even consider myself in relationship only enjoyed romantic films and dreamed. I thought that was enough for me but years of therapy opened my eyes to possibilities.
Life is really short and there's billions of people out there to meet, millions in your appropriate dating pool, thousands interested in dating, and likely hundreds where you are.
I don't want to meet literal hundreds of people. I don't want to waste my time on meeting them all. In my opinion life is way too short for that. I will rather have one long, involved, horrible experience than smaller hundred ones. Besides I have to work and sleep and clean around too.
So don't get caught up in some romantic idea of pursuit and star-crossed lovers.
And that is my main problem. I have to change my mindset about that. If i manage to do that I can conclude that I would rather be a single woman for rest of my life.
Thank you for your weighty opinion. If you have the time I will really appreciate your cross-points.