Trump signs executive order on water pressure to ‘restore shower freedom’

He claimed in 2019 that “people are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once” as a result of insufficient water pressure.

Uhh, this sounds like a "you" problem, Mr. President. More fiber might help. Anyway, thanks for broadcasting your bowel troubles to the whole world, it sure makes you look strong.

I had to recheck 5-6 times while reading that this was the guardian and not some sort of mock guardian/onion news site

“people are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once” as a result of insufficient water pressure

How do US toilets work? It should be independent of water pressure, there is a tank of water that gets prefilled, right?

Enough with the executive orders. Jesus. Is this a national emergency too??

i think you're looking for flow rate, mr president. if you change water pressures across the country, everybody's o-rings are gunna have a bad time.

source: my house has extremely high water pressure already.

Less regulation my ass.

Any idiot with a pair of pliers can take the flow regulator out of a consumer-grade shower head that you can buy off the shelf at any hardware store in the country and get as much water pressure as your pipes are capable of pumping into it.

Here's hoping we all still have enough money to buy shower heads in the new Trump economy so we can enjoy the fruits of his labor. Who needs prosperity and economic stability when you have a roaring torrent of water to take a depression shower like a real American patriot?

Just another ”fascist playbook” thing. Declaring war on pointless, or almost pointless, stuff to make people feel that the country is ”under attack” and to downplay actual important stuff

I wonder how many of those political decoy flares he has in stock. Useless stories that ire up people just to distract them from real problems. Like the "Gulf of America" thing, or the showerhead pressure.

I feel like it's April 1st all over again.

As an additional layer of stupid, most of the "low pressure" seen in showers is due to water saver shower heads and have nothing to do with the pressure going to or in the home. So this literally proposing that the government regulates your water regulating shower heads.

Old man yells at shower. News at 11.

In my case, I like to take a nice shower to take care of my beautiful hair

Good god.

you can always tell when an idiot watches a seinfeld rerun

"shower freedom", this has to be a late april fools right? RIGHT?!

Any chance he's doing this so he has another excuse to try to go after Canada's supply of fresh water?

This is a ploy from big bidet to take over our toilets with pristine water pressure that can douche-clean your asshole and I won't stand for it, god damnit!

“But I think Donald Trump’s concerns are somewhat out of date, to tell you the truth.”

Back to around the '30s from what I can tell.

I'm confused, is it the turds not flushing or the skiddies that he's withering on about?

I had to check twice that the source was a reliable one and not a satiric website...

He's having trouble flushing all that incriminating evidence he wants more water.

“In my case, I like to take a nice shower to take care of my beautiful hair,” Trump said as he signed the executive order. “I have to stand under the shower for 15 minutes until it gets wet. It comes out drip, drip, drip. It’s ridiculous.”

A good not the onion headline

I like it

All this reminds me of is that video of that guy who's friend "upgraded" his shower pressure. And it was just one hyper-powerful stream out of the whole shower head. Wish I had a link.

The douche order

Although I shouldn't be surprised, I did check the date on this one to make sure it wasn't April 1st.

So is Trump going to pay to have the pump in my private well replaced with a turbo powered one?

https://youtu.be/8ruJBKFrRCk

Finally