Trump Orders Four Mile Military Parade for His 79th Birthday

Just some North Korea shit, nothing to see here. Move along.

Let's be sure the best parade balloon ever created is part of it.

Your tax dollars at work

Trump doesn't give a shit about anyone but him. They just cut $55M intended to fund training for rural teachers (because who wants educated educators?) and now he wants to spend more than that on a mile long military parade celebrating his birthday. And it's not even a milestone birthday, just a birthday.

From the article, Trump wanted to do something similar but, presumably smaller, in his first term but backed off after the price tag came to $92M. He instead opted for an event that ONLY cost $13M. How much do you think this one will cost? What will get cut to fund it?

Fucking narcissistic traitor... He'll probably figure out how to grift a few tens of millions from this by selling tickets, too.

Don't show up, even to protest. He'll just say everyone showed up for him. Let him have his audience-less parade like a retarded North Korean despot.

Hmm, aren't over-the-top displays of military forces a sign of something? What could it possibly be, certainly not fascism or something silly like that . . .

Trump crafted the idea for a military parade after witnessing a lavish Bastille Day celebration in Paris in 2017. Top US generals and officials were less thrilled about the idea. At one White House meeting, when Trump addressed his idea with Air Force Gen. Paul Selva, then the second-highest-ranking general as vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Selva suggested the idea was reminiscent of something often seen in dictatorships. When Trump asked Selva what he thought of the parade, Selva said he grew up in Portugal, which "was a dictatorship — and parades were about showing the people who had the guns." "And in this country, we don't do that," Selva said. "It's not who we are." Trump then asked Selva whether or not he liked the idea, to which he responded: "No." He added, "It's what dictators do."

He won't attend a veteran funeral in favor of going golfing, but he wants a military parade for his birthday.

While a man he admits is innocent continues to sit in a prison in El Salvador

Where’s DOGE?

Is there a way to report things to DOGE? This seems like an easy cut.

did he also order spectators to cry of happiness?

Where is DOGE? This is like Charles Minor coming down on Michael Scott. Trump is just a huge fucking cry baby that needs constant validation. What a fucking loser.

I want the military to maliciously comply with this.

One Army solder marches by

One mile later one Marine marches by

One mile later a lone Navy sailor marches by

One mile later one USAF pilot marches by

One mile later a member of the USCG marches by.

JFC, what an asshole.

is america great again yet?

He doesn’t look a day over 136.

Next up, the goose step, with jackboots, will be used when marching past the main stage. Over $11 trillion lost and the stupid fuck wants to play army.

Great idea. All soldiers just love being told to march in birthday performances for draft dodgers.

Ha ha ha Sargent bone spurs reporting for duty.

What a man baby.

Is he going to be sad again when military still can't roll tanks down the streets, or will he let them tear up the infrastructure this time?

Hashtag just dictator things

Sounds like a great place to do massive civil disobedience.

Sounds like a perfect opportunity for a surprise bday protest. Imagine everyone doing as expected one minute and then suddenly all the signs for freedom of speech expression go up in glorious unison! The bigliest bday protest ever!

Hahahaha all the people that didn’t vote in the last election can kiss their voting rights goodbye. Muah!💋

Shameful

what a perfect opportunity to establish a military coup and take back control of our government from fascists.

opportunities don't get much better than this folks.

A lot of soldiers going to be on sick leave that day.

I mean... I despise trump just as much as most people here, but it could very well be a coincidence that his birthday and the 250th year of the US army fall on the same day and that it's not for his birthday specifically. This article seems like a shit-stirring one unfortunately, this is bad because it muddies the waters of the actual bad shit he's doing behind the curtains.

My immediate reaction to seeing this title was split between happy AF "oh maybe he thinks he won't make it to 80" and then "but what is he saving for that birthday?"

I have never honestly, purely, maliciously, and actively wished death on somebody currently alive (I've done it before for certain people to happen right before they did "the thing" they did) than I do now about him. Well, them. Him and the co-president.

And for once I feel no moral uncertainty in hoping it is the most terrifying, embarrassing, humiliating, depressing, public, well-captured (for historical purposes of course), and agonizing things ever experienced by a single human. By a huge amount.

Hitler may have tortured 6 million, but Trump is making 300 some million lives worse. Significantly worse. And if we end up in a war, then 100% of those deaths will be directly attributable to him, as will all the LGBT people that harm themselves under his reign.

How 'bout NO

I for one, am glad he's planning this.

At some point, the top generals are going to have to make a choice of who to support.

It's actions like this that cost Caligula his life.

I doubt he will live that long. Alzheimer will get him like his father.

I have some questions. Will the soldiers all be white cis males? Will they be wearing orange makeup and smell like dirty diapers?

Parades are for weak little men. Pathetic.

Quote by Eisenhower (totally word for word)

Wild.

Can we somehow convince MAGA that it's super patriotic to consume a bunch of exlax about 30 minutes before the parade?

Though on second thought, it might accidentally improve the smell.

Will he be shooting a rifle in the air for the entire duration?

He is doing it as a loyalty test for the military

Where archive

"Let's put on a parade for this great leader" as opposed to "I want a parade!" (for a greatly, less great leader).

That's tin-pot dictator shit.

Sounds efficient.

soft pay wall, are there any full versions of this