Can‘t recover from the death of my cat in october. It totally devastated me.
I feel you, my cat died August ‘23 and I am still having a rough time. I have since adopted two kittens and I love them both so much, but I really miss Polly.
I hope it gets better for you.
If I wouldn‘t have adopted the little jinx i probably would have died. Nontheless, i miss Fenya dearly.
Thanks. I guess it gets a bit easier over time
If you have some spare time, you might try visiting an animal shelter, just to give the animals there some playtime and affection. We are much longer-lived than our pets, and it's our responsibility to make sure they have the best lives possible. I bet you did that for your kitty, and they were thankful for it.
She was my best buddy for 24 years. I‘ve rescued a kitten already and my now older cat is the best mother she could be.
The next shelter is a bit far away, though, so i am not that often there as i used to be
Discovered my young daughter is self harming so really not great at the moment.
When I was 13, my parents discovered that my younger sister was self harming and even wrote a suicide note (and that she might be closetedly lesbian). All they did was yell at her, berate her, force her to cut up the note and blame social media. Somehow at that age I was more mature than two adults who decided to fucking have children. Though thats the average in arabia I guess..
Please don't be mad at her, instead help and show that you love and care for her.
That's a really helpless situation to be in. She's your daughter, she's someone whose safety is hugely important to you, and she's hurting herself so badly. How are you going to try and handle it?
Awful, depressed, worthless, financially ruined. Currently sitting on my friends couch after sleeping here because my wife and I had the worst fight we ever had over the past 2 days, and I don't we will recover as we both decided it's probably best to just part ways but not sure how to make that work yet due to kids and schedules. This is a fun weekend...
I lost the person I felt was my soulmate about 8 years ago to mental illness after she fell down the conspiracy theory well, and eventually changed from a happy healthy empathetic liberal to a MAGA type person in just a couple years. It was, in some ways, worse than losing them to death.
But 8 years (and a lot of therapy) later I feel like life is bright, and I look forward to each day now. I don't mean to say "Hey just wait the better part of a decade and you'll feel great", just that we are resilient and even though things feel terrible for you right now, no matter which way it goes you will eventually feel good again. Stay strong.
And let me give you some unsolicited advice in case you do end up splitting. Try not to be mean or vindictive to your future ex-partner during the process. Not for their sake (they will be out of your life soon), but yours. I regret and am ashamed of things I said and did during my divorce.
Not great.
Last night my house flooded and I'm still cleaning up water and nasty shit. Everything smells like piss.
It triggered a fight over the fact that I still don't have a full time job despite months of looking, and we are stuck in this place until I find something better than 3rd party labor.
My vehicle is leaking gasoline while running and the shocks are fucked but I can't afford to fix it. My wife's vehicle needs transmission work.
Also... gestures wildly around the US
Depression is a bitch and I don't have insurance to go to a therapist or get my broken tooth fixed.
So yeah. Not great.
Damn dude, life is kicking you while you're down, I'm sorry. Keep your head held high whenever you can.
Tired, anxious, depressed, feel like shit in general. Declined an invitation to play boardgames with some old friends this weekend because I feel tired and anxious and depressed and overwhelmed and now I have more anxiety and guilt because I feel like I should have gone and I will further lose contact with them over this and they will hate me now.
It gets like that sometimes and it's so hard. Dragging yourself through life is exhausting, and it means we don't have energy for seeing friends. Cancelling plans comes with it's own problems though, that sets off all sorts of thoughts. How are you trying to manage it today?
Speaking as someone with anxiety, try not to predict what others feel. You're likely going to be wrong, and never in a good way. It's not your responsibility to guess what others are feeling, it's their responsibility to tell you. Always assume the most neutral opinion from others, and only change that if they say otherwise.
If you need to stay alone to recuperate, then go all-in on it. Let your friends know that you had a bout of anxiety. If you're worried about them being upset, then not giving them a reason won't help that.
I wish you the best, and please ask if you have any questions that I might be able to help with.
Actually very awesome today. Going to a protest with a new friend. Exciting!
During Covid, I picked up the guitar again, having given it up decades ago. I didnt expect to play gigs or anything, I just wanted to use the quarantine opportunity to do something positive, and I chose music, over writing a book, learning a language, etc.
Almost five years later, my guitar playing has gotten pretty good, upper intermediate level, and I am good enough to entertain myself, which is all I ever wanted.
What I hadn't expected was how much of an improvement it would make on my mental health. After being energized by my improving skills, I realized that my mood and self-esteem and confidence were significantly elevated. I am proud of my progress, even if nobody else hears it.
I also realized that I think I've been operating under a low-grade depression for a long time, perhaps my entire life. I've never addressed it because I thought that was just what life felt like. Once I had a closer look at how much better I could feel, i realized that I haven't felt "right" for a long time, maybe never. I'm still not sure I know what "right" really feels like.
Now that America has officially gone to Hell, I'm extremely worried about the future (I have a history degree, and am very knowledgeable about politics and history, and know where all of this is leading), but daily, sometimes hourly, doses of music are helping me cope.
Yeah I relate a lot with you on that. But I never managed to actually keep at it. I've tried 5 times to pick up the guitar again after giving it up, and always failed.
That didn't really improve my mental health and self-esteem, ngl. So yeah, all props to you!
Yeah, I get it, guitar is a really hard instrument. I wasn't starting from scratch during Covid. I was a professional musician as a teen, playing other instruments, and picked up the basics of guitar. I put it aside when I went to college for music history, and then spent many years in the classical music biz.
So I have a very strong music background to draw from. When I picked it up again, it felt like Id never held a guitar before, but I still rembered the chord shapes, and I still had a good grip of music theory. I also have enough musical experience coaching professional musicians that I didn't need a teacher, I knew what I needed to do to learn this.
On top of all that, the best teachers in the world are on YouTube, so anything I couldn't figure out on my own, I had plenty of resources to consult.
Despite all of that, the real key was establishing a solid daily practice routine, something I couldn't do when I was young, in school, working in a record store, partying with friends, and chasing girls. Here's what I tell new players about practice:
Put your guitar on a stand next to your bed, so it's the first and last thing you see every day. Play it for about 20 minutes when you first get up, and 20 minutes before going to bed. Then find another 20 minutes sometime during the day.
That will give you 60 minutes per day of sharply focused practice. If you were to practice once a day for an hour, you'd be focused for the first 20 minutes, then your mind starts to wander for the additional 40 minutes. By breaking it up, every minute is focused practice, and you'll progress much faster. It also gives your fingertips a chance to rest after 20 minutes.
Also, if you miss a session, you only miss one, and you'll still get 2 others that day. If you only do one long session per day, and you miss it, you miss an entire day of practice, not just 1/3.
If all you do is practice once a day, then you really only get one serious 20 minute practice block each day. So if you do three twenty minute sessions a day, its like jamming 3 days of practice in a single day. At the end of a week, you've had 21 days of practice instead of 7. Obviously, your progress will be much, much faster.
So give it a sixth try, but use my practice regimen, and hopefully it will stick this time. Good luck!
I did the same with guitar. Stopped playing nearly 20 years ago and picked up again during Covid. Probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It gives me an outlet I didn’t have before, and I’ve put so much into it with practice and lessons that I’m better than I’d ever have thought I’d be.
Like you, I know enough to entertain myself and that’s perfect. Sometimes I’ll just pick it up and play along with new songs I hear and it still surprises me when I can do that well.
I've heard that there was a big guitar boom during Covid, but I'll bet at least 75% moved on. We're the survivors, and all the better for it. In a couple years, there will probably be a big used market of barely used Covid guitars.
I just wish Lemmy had one single decent guitar forum. Reddit had a bunch, and I was really active in them, but alas, now that they've gone MAGA and purged any dissenters, all I can do is lurk, which is frustrating.
We need to revive the sleepy guitar forums on Lemmy.
Not OK. Did not sleep well, again. Anxiety and frustrations work-related which will impact my home life. I need to rest.
Not sleeping is hard, you need that to function. How's your sleep hygiene ?
Terrible. A lot of my sleep issues can be traced to my work schedule, which is something I'm trying to improve but my boss is actively working to make worse for me.
When anxiety hits, as it does with unresolved conflict, the negative effects compound exponentially. I can't fix the root cause right now: I work too late for my well being and I can't fix that with an incompetent authoritarian at the helm.
Between Tai Chi and meditation and yoga and resistance exercise and hiking, and better eating habits to stabilize blood sugar and overall health.. everything is fine. Things are chaotic online, but people in the real world are happy and cordial around me and are living their lives all the same. Another thing that helped was not being chronically online. Looking at Lemmy/Reddit/etc/etc every day is depressing. Turns out tuning out more often increases mental health for me.
Awesome, thanks. How are you?
I'm going great outside of one thing. I miss my soulmate. It's been over 2 years. My heart is still empty. I'm dating again but I feel hollow.
Best wishes. You are still grieving. That doesn't mean you shouldn't date at all, it just means you need to allow yourself to continue grieving even while you move forward with your life. You deserve happiness.
It's unduly long and complex but made worse that we are still friends and were it not for a specific situation we may still be together. Took me 40 years to find my soulmate only to have them taken away because life told us it was not time and here I am now stuck with not being able to move forward because why would I be able to love another when the one of my dreams is still there within arm's reach.
It sucks. I'm at least blessed with 3 kids from a previous marriage which give me joy and I have a career I love. I also have many around me who I love and I feel they love me back. It's just that final puzzle piece. I know where it is. I want to complete my puzzle but I can't because it's not possible right now.
Sigh.
A bit hopeless but trying to keep it together in spite of all the socio-political problems.
I think that's all we can do right now
I just wrote about it in a lengthy post, but music has been helping me cope. Find a hobby that can occupy your mind when you start ruminating about concentration camps.
Really not great. Can't motivate myself to keep studying, gotta find a new job because my contract won't be extended. My boss, who kept telling me everything was good and I did a good job, not only not extended my contract but also wrote me a rather bad recommendation letter. Just told me in a meeting all the "problems" he had with me that haven't been mentioned in any of the previous meetings. Just feel like shit and would rather never work again and spend my life watching TV shows...
Oh, and don't forget that the AfD is getting stronger and stronger and will fuck over my trans best friend and my husband, who wasn't born in Germany and has dual citizenship.
Remind yourself as often as necessary: that's entirely your boss's fault. Nobody is perfect hence I know you made mistakes, you human you, but telling you one set of things to your face while spreading the opposite things to others is just such a dick move.
You have some kind of worth, so don't let your boss gaslight you into believing that crap that he spouted. Even if some portion of it were true, you obviously can't trust the source. Find a better source of judgement - yourself even if you have time to heal although it sounds like not, so someone else in the meantime.
Touch grass, seriously, it will help - both the nature and the exercise part. TV has its place too, especially in healing, but you'll want more than that as you regain your confidence. The good news being that YOU are in control of that!:-)
(I am no psychologist tho, just my personal thoughts)
Not great. My depression and anxiety have left me bedridden in the last few days. I feel worthless and like the whole world either doesn't care or despises me. I don't know which is worse.
I also suffer from dissociation and feel like I don't know who I am as a person, it's like I am being pulled in different directions, and it's a real struggle.
I hear you Tropper. We're here, lean on us
Been there. I know it's easy to say, but have you sought medical help? Medication did wonders for me.
I hope you come out of it soon, because I know what that pit feels like. hugs
Thanks! I have gotten medication and no longer suffer from daily panic attacks. I got diagnosed with a bunch of stuff a year ago, including AvPD, which means that I have severe social anxiety.
So far, it feels like the only response I have gotten from the doctors has been, "Tough luck; that's your life now."
I am trying my best to come out of it, but it's difficult.
Bad, thanks! But I'm focused on taking care of my mother's medically delicate cat while convincing a kitten to leave the door to the medically delicate cat alone.
I just heard people applaud a fucking sunset. I'm circling the drain.
In the dumpster, six days ago i was involved in a pretty severe work related accident which landed me in the hospital. Crushed right leg plus three broken ribs and a collapsed lung. So my mental health is rough right now.
Take that company for everything you can dude. If they are like 99% of companies they will try to limit things you are entitled to. Might even want to talk to a lawyer.
My union (Dansk Metal) is taking the case and theyll drag everyone through hell and back, so no worry. Dansk Metal is one of the most powerful unions in Denmark and will stop at nothing.
Surviving but not thriving.
It seems like every time we get a decent chunk of money, some kind of event occurs and strips it away. Last time it was a car repair, this time unexpected tuition. I’m thankful that we’re not going into debt, but damn.
The promotion at work has come with a lot of added stress. I’m proud of the work I do and I think it’s worth it I think for now. But it has meant that I’ve had to pull back on some other goals and hobbies. For example, I haven’t touched the book that I want to write in over 6 months.
Cycling has atrophied as well, but we’re moving again in 3 months, this time back to a place with more cycling events that I know, so I’m really going to try to get back into at least a Tuesday night ride. I used to love epic randonneuring adventures, and I wanted to get a few more in on the bucket list, but I’m starting to fear that my body is getting too old to take them on. I’m certainly feeling a sense of urgency. When you’re in your 20s and 30s it feels like you have all the time in the world, but it’s hit me lately just how scarce time is as a resource.
My wife and I are starting to get to that age where the window to have a second kid is closing. I’m hopeful that it will happen this year, but then again, another baby will take away from those other goals as well.
She’s also struggling because the job she had lined up after school this June was HHS funded, now that is in jeopardy. We’ve already bought a house in the new town too; so we’re paying rent and a mortgage at the moment. We can afford it on my salary and her internship but I feel it’s tighter than I have been since my early 20s.
The overall situation of the world also weighs heavily on me. I try to do my part where I can. These things ebb and flow as they always have, so I try to remain hopeful. I’m encouraged by what is happening today. We must stay vigilant to take back our rights from those who strive to oppress us.
I just got into therapy in October to help me deal with these things. I always had a stigma around therapy, ironically my wife is a therapist. Anywho, it has really worked for me. I am trying to realign my thinking so that I’m not always the victim, that the things we do and the intentions we set are FOR us and our future. I can certainly tell a marked difference between the weeks I can attend and the weeks I don’t. I’m hopeful here as well, but for now I’m surviving, not thriving.
Hanging in there.
I’m gonna be honest and say I’m doing great man. For some weird reason, I always am.
I see from the rest here that I should probably not take that for granted.Wish everone an epic Sunday!
Not well.
Constantly anxious.
Depressed.
Autistic.
Have gender dysphoria at a time of increased hatred. I don’t consider myself trans because I’m not transitioning. I couldn’t bear that attention.
I’m a broke single parent whose only regular human interaction is a 3 year old. I have no friends. I drove 4 hours across the state for a family function where I felt like an outsider because my family are rural maga people. I just feel I don’t belong anywhere
My job and position in life are nothing like I thought they would be at 37.
I’m increasingly dependent on thc vape and alcohol.
Am adhd and autistic, so i never had a lot of friends, but i kind of learned to keep going with it.
Right now, i am very tired, but also hopeful because all my essay writing training is starting to show up.
My dreams, such as writing novels and creating an entire video game about my personal universe, seem to be more and more feasible on reality.
Also, my social training allowed me to meet some very nice persons, not in social standarts, but genuinely for me.
So I am as always lonely, tired and silent, but the world seem always to show more and more colours to me, which is nice.
(also maybe just because i stopped drinking the social media crap and the worldnews junk food, but hey, it’s what gives us the most anxiety for no reason, so why bother)
I must be high, cuz I read that as "...how high are you right now?"
I’m mixed.
I’ve had depression off and on, it cleared up early last week but came back this weekend.
I went to a friend’s and we went for a walk and played Uno with their kids and it made me feel a bit better, but I spent most of the weekend just laying in bed.
I’m stressed about Canada’s election. And the tariff mayhem and how that’s going to affect my job. I tried diversifying my finances, but seeing my assets drop hurts.
My wife is starting a new diet with her gym, so she’s doing all the cooking lately and honestly I’m missing that creative outlet.
I don’t know, just a lot of headwinds right now. I’ve been very lucky, but it’s rough out there.
You've got a lot going on from day to day food to finances to the bigger picture of politics. It's bound to ground you down.
I've been working in my mental for a while and i can fele the improvements.
Isn't it wonderful when you start go get those first glimmers that things are getting better?
Better than usual. Which is not saying much, since I've had suicidal thoughts almost every day despite all the therapy and meds. But I did an hour of work today on a project that was due May 2024 (now trying for the 2025 deadline), which is more than most weeks of the past 9 months. I've been keeping myself from new Linux installs and other major time sinks for all that time, hoping I'd find a miracle cure. But nope, looks like I'll have to fight my inattentiveness and depression the hard way. At least I'm motivated to finish the project so I can get my laptop running the way I want.
I'm so fucking tired
I'm doing alright despite the boss at work being a dick, and being tired all the time
Thanks for asking
Remember when Elmo asked and everyone dumped their collective grief him? Ya, it’s only gotten far worse.
Honestly, pretty shitty. Given the political climate of my home (US) is exacerbating the problems I already face between untreated ADHD, depression, and who knows what else, I've just been dissociating the days away.
