If you had a familiar, what would you choose and why?

A crow because corvids are intelligent, social, and sassy 🖤

I'd go with a cockroach. Can fly, hide anywhere, survive anything, and report to me for juicy gossips.

Cats are honestly overpowered so I agree. They also have fluffy little tummies that you can bury your face in and get clawed to shreds

Polar bear, because people would leave me the fuck alone.

Bernese Mountain dog for sure. I love those, and I know I would get along with it.

Canada goose. You know why.

I know it would be conspicuous but I would love a capuchin monkey so it could help me fetch things.

This is me and my white goose familiar.

I was asked this at work recently "as an icebreaker" and I'll say now what I said then:

a great big fuck-off raven