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Nation Could Have Sworn Russell Brand Was Already Convicted Sex Offender

theonion.com Nation Could Have Sworn Russell Brand Was Already Convicted Sex Offender

NEW YORK—Stressing that the memory seemed so fresh and vivid in their minds, the confused nation announced Monday that they could have sworn British entertainer Russell Brand was already a convicted sex offender. “Interesting...so Russell Brand definitely wasn’t already found guilty of sexual assaul...

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I’m shocked — that he wasn’t accused years ago.
- I mean, he's basically a woo cult leader, now. Sexual predation and cults practically go hand in hand.
  
  Speaking of, what's Jared Leto been doing recently?
This is another reason why we all thought this, he's been accused for a long time.

Russell Brand allegations: What is the star accused of? 2 October 2023

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-66838794
- And this piece is from September 2023.

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