Building greenspace, playspace, and community: Days 1-12

I'm doing the thing, y'all! See my previous Day 0 post here.

On March 18th (Day 1) I sent an email to my local councillor, explaining my desire for more greenspace and especially space for kids to play.

...and within 24 hours she got back to me with an email. Actually 3 emails. The first one dripping with excitement and the other two with INFORMATION.

Basically, her response was two-pronged: On one hand, she agrees we need more outdoor spaces for people to exist in the city centre, and she thinks there are a good few empty lots which could become such. On the other, she mentioned that what greenspace we do have, the council is struggling to manage. There's a cemetery near me which is falling into disrepair, and she mentioned that the best solution might be for a community group to come forward and take care of the area. Of course, she included the caveat that you can't put a play park on top of an active gravesite, but her point as far as I can tell was to say there's a need for community groups in general.

(sidenote: I think a cemetery with a play park would actually be very cool. I mean, I'd want to be buried there. My kids and their kids and their kids would be able to play near me forever)

Anyways. I responded with barely contained excitement, and explained that I'd be happy to put together a group to build a play park which could also take care of the greenspaces we have, like the cemetery. My logic is that communities, especially project-based ones, need successes to rally around early on or there's a higher risk of burnout. I don't remember if I learned that from experience or from something I read somewhere, but it feels true. So, I think the play is to put together a group which will fix up the cemetery as a first step, and when we've achieved that, our next step will be to work towards new greenspaces.

I also feel like that strategy, put simply, will make people like us. I'm really worried about public backlash, but I'll dive into that later.

Anyhow. After emailing her back, I made some flyers to post up around town, and wrote some words for posting on facebook (BLECH) and emailing to different organisations. I've only put up two flyers, and I've only emailed one org... but I also posted on facebook and now I have THREE signups on my google form for folks who want to work together. One of which is a friend of mine, but I mean, they're cool and I'd love to work with them on this, if only to have a friendly face at the meetings.

So now I'm seeing who else signs up before April 7th, at which point I will schedule a first meeting! Though, I don't know where to do so yet. I have to figure that out.

In the meantime, the one-and-only org I emailed got back to me! They are SO EXCITED about collaborating, because their whole thing is planting food gardens in public and my opening hey-do-you-wanna-collab statement was that I'd love to have some of their food planters in my dream-greenspace. Also, turns out the nice person behind the organisation used to live on my street, and had the same problem with no greenspace. It's definitely a thing. I feel less crazy now, honestly, with how many people are agreeing that it's a problem.

So now I await a meeting with her, and I await April 7th to see who all can attend.

Through all of this, there's been a common thread of anxiety kicking around my brain. I do not have thick skin. As in, the kind of vitriolic nastiness that anonymous/pseudonymous social media tends towards really stings me. Especially when it's not just mean, but bigoted.

And well, I'm nonbinary. And bisexual. And my friend who is gonna help me out is nonbinary, too. Aaaaand we both frequent the local queer meetup. And we live on TERF island where, y'know, doing good things for children while also being a filthy queer gets you labelled a groomer.

But my partner rightly insists that, when I finally attract nastiness, I can't let it get me down. I don't really know how to do that... except maybe make a bingo card for the kind of shitty comments I might get.

For your entertainment, here's the things I'm afraid of having yelled at me so far, which may become a bingo card:

• non sequitur fat jokes (I am fat and as we know, that is funny and negates everything I say. I guess)
• Karen jokes (because fixing things in the city = complaining... I think?)
• "We've tried doing this before and it failed and so will you."
• "The council is working with you? I hate the council so I hate you too."
• "The groomer is trying to turn our children gay by letting them play outside"
• "Vandals will ruin anything you do."
• something something pronouns gender
• "You are an immigrant, stop trying to improve your city."
• "You're annoying."
• Facebook laughing emoji reaction

Honestly I debated sharing that list. But it felt cathartic to write out, and I think so much internet discourse turns into "have a thick skin or leave", which tends to shut people out, so maybe it'll help someone for me to discuss my fears as I do this project. Or I just think bingo cards are funny.

Anyways stay tuned! I really hope to make another post after the first in-person meeting, which should mean posting again in the latter half of April.