Do other people 'edge' going to sleep? Why is this a thing?
I've got a great life, I am not trying to avoid tomorrow or whatever, but I just really like staying awake when I'm absolutely balls ass tired. It's kinda addicting, like the sleepier you are, the more insanely good the sleep will be. So I find myself struggling, on purpose, to stay awake. I force myself to read books, or watch shows, or go on Lemmy... and I only just realized it's because I love feeling sleepy.
Kinda, but for different reasons. I've suffered from insomnia for ages, and one of my absolute least favorite things about that is going to bed, then lying there for hours waiting to fall asleep.
So, usually I don't even bother. I'll stay up and do something productive or entertaining until I'm about to drop, then finally go to bed and enjoy a relatively small amount of time between my head hitting the pillow and actually falling asleep.
...downside being I gotta wake up for work like 3 hours later, so I'm kinda just chronically tired all the time, but that's nothing a fuck-ton of caffeine can't... slightly mitigate.
Not as extreme, but I get the feeling. The very tired sleep is just crazy good. I don't stay awake to become extra sleepy, but I stay away, because I realy enjoy that evening hours. Just chilling there and not giving a fuck about anything for a few moments.
I only say it as someone who likely has ADD myself, who has several family members with ADHD, who all do similar behaviors.
But, I'm glad the question was downvoted by a few in the masses, as if I was making a negative insinuation... Having it isn't always a con, in some aspects it's a boon.
It's a somewhat common thing with ADHD folks. As different parts of the brain start to fall asleep, there's a sweet spot where our brains are finally balanced. In other words, our limited executive function has adequate energy to manage just the fraction of the brain that's still awake.
It's like sleep is trying to pull you in with whisps of itself like the enticing fingers of a lover. You act coy, trying to keep afloat because the boundary feels... Exquisite. The whisps become more demanding little by little until finally you succumb and let them take you in and it feels like floating though clouds of immaterial boobs.
A going theory is that you're overstimulated and your body is starved of rest. You'd need to chill with the social media and electronics, go through withdrawal and then relax for a month or two on an isolated retreat in order to "reset" yourself.
I'd be mindful about being so prescriptive with solutions like that. What works well for you may not work well for someone else. But I do appreciate your input! Maybe try sharing it with more "I statements"?
I think it is not fear of tomorrow but fear of extinction that causes this. I think it comes from a real, not simply intellectual realisation that life is finite and anything lost now will not come back. An instinctive urge to wring the most out of life as the void closes in. The daily version of not going 'gentle into that good night'.
I'm really insomniac due to mental health stressors and chemical imbalances. I honestly might die if I don't use meds to put myself to sleep for 2 weeks straight.
That being said my meds are correcting the chemical imbalances. And I get to notice as I try to fall asleep after a high stress day I'll ruminate too hard and I'll stay awake after the "put-down" pill wears off, (then I gotta decide to give up on sleep all together or damage myself more with another pill).
I'm not a doctor (just traumatized). Ruminations come from anxiety sometimes, try to recognize what you're actuallyactually doing to prevent yourself from sleeping.
I do this but I don't even like being tired, I was in the depression stage where I slept like 18-24 hours at a time for a few years, and ive slowly ended up regularly staying up for 24+ hours for no real reason idk probably just avoiding the few tasks that I actually end up doing. I've slept through multiple times when I've asked someone to come over to my place at a certain time, stayed up for ages (at least in part) because i get <insert bad feeling> about it even though i've literally planned it myself, and then slept through people knocking and ringing my doorbell over and over. im ever so slightly dysfunctional if it isnt glaringly obvious.
Can't say I relate specifically to that, but I can relate to staying up later because you enjoy what you're doing. Everybody else shuts the hell up & you can focus in on...whatever you want to do. I also think my desire to stay up later stems from wanting control over my day & my time, so while I absolutely should sleep, part of me is like, "NO! Sleep is a waste of time. I want to do this instead!"
That's basically why I do it. I don't edge. Maybe if you indulged a little more in physical labors, you can wear your body out & really get some good sleep. Idk it's literally exhausting, but that's when I sleep the best. When I burn myself up all day long, spending myself on labors.
It doesn't sound like it overlaps completely with your experience but there's been some recent writing about "revenge bedtime procrastination," you might find some parralels there.
I definitely don't get in bed until I am sleepy because I don't want to get in the habit of laying in bed trying to get sleepy. And yeah laying down so sleepy feels so good, so sleepy that I can try to sort of stay conscious while falling asleep, watch it happen.
I wait til I'm sleepy which is usually around 10ish. If it's the weekend I push through that and squeeze out as much free time as possible but I wouldn't say it feels good usually around 1-2 am I actually feel pretty shitty to the point I have a hard time getting to sleep.
I know what your talking about. Im older and have not done it in awhile. I have to know I could sleep in the next day and even on weekends thats a rarity for me. Combined that with the years of the 8-6 workweek and your body gets hammered into this unnatural cycle where sleeping when your tired is not longer a thing. But yeah in the past I remember doing something like this. I don't think I ever did it real intentionally. At least I did not plan to do it. Actually scratch that. At cons I would try to stay up until I literally couldn't. That was different though. I would literally go into the con and be like. Im going to try and not sleep this whole con. The conversation at 3 or 4 in the morning or hitting the hot tub just as it opens. So awesome. Still I did do it sometimes just by being up and doing things I like and it was like an aversion to going to sleep. I just did not want to do it until I had to. Wanted to stave it off forever. In some ways its akin to the feeling of kinda waking up but not wanting to wake and just wanting to sleep forever but in reverse.