Can someone explain to my neurotypical mother who is sort of new to my self-diagnosis of asd1 that transitioning (getting showers) is hard for me?

What are you trying to achieve?

Not showering? Or having some kind of support?

Instead of focussing on just “I have autism this is hard,” why not look into what might help you, so you can give your mom a clearer idea of how to support you.

For me, showering is so easy not to do at all. I have things built into my schedule which require it, though. Like massage (I feel obligated to be clean for that, and have a routine getting ready for massage). Also I’ve identified things that make me feel gross about being unclean, like when my hair is greasy, and that stays on my mind now once I notice it.

Also if you’re still under 18 (or whatever the age of adulthood is there), a diagnosis is probably a good idea because there may be support available somewhere.

If your mother is accepting that you think you’re autistic, I highly recommend seeking diagnostic screening with her support while you’re still under 18 (harder to find for adults). This opens the door to help such as Occupational Therapy, which was a game-changer for me. Your mom might not have the answers to what you’re wanting help with - an OT is a professional who can help autistic people function day to day.