Inching closer to the grave every day

I was talking to my primary-school age kids about their teachers, and one of them says their next teacher will be Mr Smith.

"He's old," they said, "he must be at least fifty".

I said "nah man. Mr Smith is probably only a few years older than me, early forties I reckon".

They had me with "no he's like really old. He reads a newspaper"

I don't regret any of this one bit, you look them up and it's always someone shilling products extremely hard while doing extremely low effort content like reaction videos or streaming Minecraft.

Streamer on doop? Do they know Zapp?

and we wondered why everything was a GameBoy or a Nintendo for our parents

In the distant future, when we look back on scattered social media caps, we will regret that the date of posting is not shown. Like scattered pages from books unknown, page numbers elided.

"CURTAINS FOR ZOOSHA? K-SMOG AND BATBOY CAUGHT FLIPPING A GRUNT."

I'm 29 so maybe I'm too young for this statement but if you ask me it's because younger celebrities tend to be the result of nepotism and don't have any actual talents.

My friend with young cousins was telling me that kids are using "sigma" instead of "cool" now?

"That's so sigma, bruh."

The fuck?

Just remember folks, those 2007 people are able to vote now.

They're lucky not to know, doop fell hard off after it was acquired by Skoot Corp.

I used to work at a hikers' hostel on the Appalachian Trail. A group of hikers needed a ride into town but were short on cash. One of them suggested they offer the hostel owner some weed in exchange for a ride. Another one said, "He doesn't smoke weed. He's old, like in his 40s." He actually was in his 50s and bought his weed from me lol

As somebody who was born in 2007, I have no clue who modern celebrities are either. People consider me out of touch but I have no idea what half of what people around me are saying. The acronyms don't help and I am too scared to search them up.

Why even care about those "celebrities"? Stuff they do is usually mediocre at best anyways.

When I hear "20 yrs ago" I still think 90s. 😭

I used to be really into new music. Now I have 10 bands I listen to and just hope they keep releasing new albums.

I used to be really into standup. Now people mention it and all I can think to say is "Kyle Kinane is still doing comedy, right?"

I used to be really into movies. The newest I've seen recently is the Bob's Burgers movie.

But hey, at least I'm ignoring a lot of my hobbies these days!

I feel seen.

Well and here we are! I don't even know if peeble and doop are real places online or she just made it up to make a point 😆

You've seen boomer humor. Get ready for milly mirth

I wish it was like that, reality is there's like 3 platforms that make you IRL famous. Youtube, Twitch and TIk Tok.

There's a whole lot of people who are basically famous with being famous...

I'm a school bus driver and my elementary school kids go on about somebody named "Queso" (sp?) on Youtube and I find myself constantly fighting the urge to see what he's all about. It can't possibly be good.

You keep joking about Doop and it's going to come true.